Masks
by Dethwalker
Summary: This is a continuation of my story Mercy Street. Castle is home from the hospital and dealing with the aftermath of the Dominic Strom fiasco. When he throws himself a get well party, how will he react to a dead body? Hopefully full of Caskett goodness.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** This is in response to the kind reviewers who requested or remarked that they would like to see a continuation of "Mercy Street". As always Enjoy!!!

**Masks**

**Castle Fan Fiction**

**By Dethwalker**

**Castle's Apartment**

"A Party!" Martha and Alexis gasped together.

"Sure it'll be fun." Castle rejoined.

"But Dad, you just got out of the hospital. You should be resting in bed not planning a party!" Alexis said.

"That's the point. This is a jailbreak party, a shindig to celebrate the fact that I am still alive. Look I was cooped up in Mercy General for weeks; I need something to take my mind off of the whole Dominic Strom mess. What better way than to have a party?" Castle saw their doubtful looks, "Don't worry, I will call Rene and get him to cater and decorate. I won't lift a finger…. Well a finger more than I need to."

Martha and Alexis were not convinced. Both of them knew that Castle tended to ignore the trivial things. And to Richard Castle all things were trivial. They also knew the look that the Author was giving them. It was the look of fevered fanaticism; the look meant the Richard Castle was bound and determined to get his way. At times like this it was best to keep their heads down and try to stay out of the way.

"All right Dad, but try to rest. The Doctor said that you should stay in bed most of the time for the next 2 weeks…"

"He also said I should try and build up my strength. How am I supposed to build up my strength while I am still in bed? I ask you, how?"

"Look Richard, you doctors are afraid that if you don't take it easy you are going to collapse your self back into ICU." Martha reasoned. "So when you call Rene, do it from your bed or at least the easy chair in you study."

Castle grunted his displeasure and stormed into his study, slamming the door as he went.

"I am really worried about him. He is not bouncing back as quickly as I though he would." Alexis told her Grandmother.

"Don't be too worried about it kiddo. He is just coming to grips with his own mortality. After he was shot by that miserable Strom person, he has to deal with the fact that he could die any time, and not some distant future. He will come out of it soon" Martha opined.

"I hope it doesn't take too long. My Dad's pouty phases are always stressful"

"Your father will pull through, Alexis, and we all hope that it is sooner rather than later. This is something he has to work out on his own, unfortunately. As much as we want to help him, it has to be hands off. Go call one of your friends, blow off some steam, just be around if he needs you, dear"

Alexis thought about which friend she would call. She smiled when she knew exactly who she wanted to talk to.

**The Precinct**

**Detective Beckett**

Kate Beckett was pensive. She sat at her desk and pondered the developments over the last three weeks. When Richard Castle had been shot, she had been angry with him. In the early days of his convalescence they had reconciled. During the stress of hunting down the shooter and kidnapper, they had tossed aside their differences and admitted that they had feelings for each other. Now they were in Limbo, before the two of them had a chance to explore the new connection, she had been pulled back into the precinct and had been slammed with work ever since. Kate hoped that they would not be back where they started from. The detective was also worried about Castles state of mind. She had seen good Cops, hardened Cops break after being shot. She also worried about the silence, she had not heard from Richard since he had returned home from the hospital. Beckett hoped that it was just a matter of getting settled not Richard trying to run away from her.

Kate's cell phone rang, the Caller ID said 'Castle". Relief flowed through her. Tension she was only marginally aware of drained from her body.

"Beckett"

"Detective Beckett?" Alexis responded.

"Alexis? And I thought we had gotten past this. We are on a first name basis, remember?"

"Oh sorry Kate, I just assumed that that was just for the hospital."

"Alexis, that was before we had our time together watching your dad sleep. If you come to the precinct then feel free to call me Beckett, but the rest of the time Kate is just fine."

"Okay, Kate I am worried about my dad."

"What's wrong? Has he collapsed?" Kate asked worriedly.

"No, No, it's not that. He's just all brooding and moody. I understand that he got shot and trauma like that will have an effect on people, but this is my dad we are talking about. It's like the big kid in him has died leaving just the 'tortured writer' behind."

"Lexi, I am sure this is only temporary. He has had a very traumatic experience. We have to be patient. He has to find his own answers." Beckett stopped talking when she realized that she was spouting platitudes. "Sorry Alexis. I did not mean to get on the cliché wagon. What can I do for you?"

"Can you come over and talk to Dad? He has been getting more reclusive since he has come home. He hasn't even gone to his poker games. I'm afraid that the next thing he will do is just stay in his room, and start carving little animal figures out of soap."

Kate laughed at the imagery. "You are your father's daughter. I'll come around after work, Okay?"

**Apartment**

**Castle**

Castle stood looking out his study's floor to ceiling window, watching dusk gather over the city. He was absently rubbing the small scar over his heart. New York City at dusk mirrored his state of mind. His depression was gathering signaling his soul's descent into night. It was getting harder and harder to put on his happy mask. He knew that Alexis and his mother were worried and he wanted desperately to reassure that he was alright but he just could not expend the energy that he did not have.

Beckett regarded her partner from the doorway to his domain. Alexis had met her at the door of the apartment and had pointed worriedly toward the author's study. Kate had walked over and had been ready to knock on the door. Instead she had found the door ajar and Richard staring out the window. She took a moment to read Castle's posture. His body's whole attitude fairly screamed depression. His shoulder were slumped, his head slightly bowed and his eyes were downcast.

She thought of all the things that were left unsaid in Rick's hospital room. There was so much that they needed to talk about. Kate had let Richard into her heart and he had admitted to her that he had thought about her in intimate detail, but they had left it there, Both choosing to wait until Castle had healed before they explored their relationship any further. Was this the time to broach the subject?

"Richard…" her voice sliced through the silence.

Castled jumped, he had not heard Kate enter. He wondered exactly why she had come.

"Detective…" he saw a brief glimpse of hurt in her eyes. Mentally kicked himself in the head he realized that when the two were alone calling her Detective was a slap in the face. "Sorry pain meds.." he apologized "To what do I owe the honor of your company… Kate?"

"I came by to see how you were doing. You have your family worried. I am worried." She admitted.

"That was not my intention." He sighed. He slumped dejectedly into his chair, wincing and raising a hand to his chest. "I'm trying" he whispered

Her heart almost broke. The depth of sadness was evident in his voice. She knew Rick kept his family foremost in his thought and was loath to cause them any pain. She moved fluidly around to the back of Castle's seat and tentatively encircled him in a loose hug. At first she felt him stiffen but after a moment he began to relax.

"I 'm sorry Kate, I don't mean to be a burden."

"Richard, you are not a burden. I should slap you upside your head for just saying that. Alexis is just worried because her Dad is acting decidedly un-Castle-ish. You missed your poker games, and that has her freaked out." She stated "I've been worried too."

"Sorry Kate, I hate always saying that. I just don't know what to do. The pain meds make me loopy, not taking them means I hurt like hell, there is just no middle ground."

"Are you having the dreams too?" she asked. She felt him flinch so she knew the answer to that.

"Yeah, they're pretty bad. I have started to keep my door closed so I don't wake up the house. I am so screwed up, Kate."

"We already knew that knew that Rick." She quipped.

"Hey!" Castle smiled. It was ghost of his boyish grin, but it was a start. His grin grew brighter. "You know if you really wanted to help me with my nightmares, you could sleep over. My bed is king size so there would be no problem with room. I usually sleep in the nude, but I guess I could make an exception, you know, so you would not loose it and start begging me for sex."

"You should quit while you're ahead Castle" she was happy that he could still joke about things.

"You wound me Beckett, have I not bled enough?"

Kate privately admitted she would have taken up the offer to sleep with him had he been serious, but also admitted that it was too soon to move their tentative relationship forward, not if they wanted a sustained relationship. Kate was sure that she wanted a sustained relationship with Richard Castle. She was in this for the long haul and she hoped that Rick was too.

"Well you can tell Alexis that I am all cured now that you are here. She does not really need to worry."

"Castle, don't belittle our efforts on you behalf. Alexis is right to worry about you. You have been through a very traumatic event. It's not like everybody gets shot. You are going to need time to heal, physically as well as emotionally. This isn't one of your novels."

"I know, if I had written this scene we would already had sex on my desk and would be headed for round two in my bedroom." He growled sexily.

She shivered at the thoughts that his words conjured. It took all or her willpower not to succumb to the passion that was rising inside her. She swallowed and forced her mind back to reality.

"You wish." She said breathlessly.

"Yes Kate, I do." He whispered.

He spun his chair slowly toward her and reached out to gather her into his arms. She was warm and soft nestled next to him. Their eyes locked, each trying to comfort and communicate their unspoken feeling to the other. Their lips met. Kate was surprised how gentle his kisses were. She was expecting animal lust but was receiving impassioned love. Silence reigned. At last they broke apart.

"If you won't share my bed, will you at least stay for dinner?"

"Yes" Kate smiled.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:** I am truely humbled by the response to this story. Thank you. Enjoy!

**II**

**Castle's Apartment**

**Castle & Beckett**

"Rick maybe we should call for take out" Kate fretted as Castle moved slowly around his kitchen, pulling out ingredients for dinner.

"Nonsense, I keep a well stocked Larder…."

"Larder, who uses a word like Larder anymore? What's wrong with pantry or cupboard?"

"Well, excuse me Miss Word Snob" Rick jested "Larder is a perfectly serviceable word. I'm just trying to do my part to keep the English language alive. The next generation of college bound seniors will thank me for getting them a few points on their SAT scores"

"I don't think that High School students are your demographic, Rick" Kate was happy, her protests not withstanding, Castle was beginning to open up, to let down his guard and just reside in the moment. Beckett was under no illusions that Castle had experienced a miracle cure. She knew that at least part of this conversion of character was for her benefit. She would permit his little subterfuge because it proved to her that he cared about her enough to try to moderate his moodiness. For a brief instant she wondered what it would be like to do this every day. She had been alone all her adult life and this inclusion into Rick's world felt comforting.

"Detective…" Martha brought Kate out of her reverie. Martha stood at the edge of the kitchen area dressed in eveningwear. "Can I have a word?"

Kate moved overt to join Martha as Richards's mother walker over to the front door.

".I hate to do this to you, but I must leave for a show and Alexis is over at Paige's house for some much needed decompression. The poor girl has not been out of the house except to go to school since Richard came home from the hospital. Don't feel like you have to stay but any time you can give to the cause is much appreciated."

"Don't worry Martha; I'll keep an eye on him. We still have some things to talk over,"

"Don't shock Richard too much." Martha smiled playfully. "And when you get tired of him just excuse yourself and go home. The doctors don't think he will become suicidal."

"Suicidal? Wait, Martha, the doctors said he might try to kill himself?" Kate panicked.

"I'm joking Detective, he is well past the period of time where trauma patients get fixated on suicide. You kids have fun." Martha swept out the door leaving Kate in the vacuum.

"Kate, did Mother give you the old watch out he might commit suicide speech?"

Kate jumped. She had not heard Castle approach. Richard gave a small smile and moved back toward the kitchen. Kate followed mindlessly, a little ill at ease. The aroma of cooking food soothed her somewhat raw nerves. Suddenly his lips were seeking hers again and she lost herself in his kiss. As he pulled her close she instinctively wrapped her arms around him. It surprised her just how natural their kissing had become so quickly. If someone had told her when she first met Richard Castle that is a few short months she would be sharing passionate kisses in his kitchen she would have laid a hefty sum of money against those odds. He flexed his arms and drew her against his body. She could feel him trembling, whether from need or fatigue she could not tell. She pressed her hand gently against his chest and he reluctantly let go.

"Richard…."she whispered.

"Sorry Kate.." he turned ,embarrassed by his actions, and continued to cook.

Kate knew that she had most likely hurt him in some way. Perhaps he felt rejected, or maybe his libido was taking a drubbing because some woman said no to his advances, she did not know, but she felt compelled to try to explain.

"Rick… it's just too soon……"

"Look, Kate, don't worry.. It's okay." He feigned looking at his watch "Kate hold that thought I need to go take my pain meds. I'll be right back I swear." And he fled to the Bathroom.

Closing the door quickly he sat down on the side of the tub and tried to control his breathing. Their impromptu make out session had been great. Kissing her seemed so natural and kissing her made him want more. Right now, in his condition he could not afford to do anything more strenuous than kissing. Kate deserved better. She deserved some one in control, and right now Castle was anything but controlled. He moved to the sink and picked up his pain pills dropped two into his palm and dry swallowed them. He picked up a second bottle and pondered it. Except for a brief time in college and right after his divorce, he had never used any mind altering drugs. Purists would argue that pain medication was mind altering but he did not agree, but the anti-depressants he pondered did. He had used anti-depressants to get over his divorce but only sparingly, to make dealing with his fans bearable, never when in his own home. Was it ok to use them to get through the evening with Kate? He dropped two into his palm.

"Castle, if you're doing that for me, don't" Kate's hand covered the pills in his hand..

Castle looked blankly over at Detective Beckett. The pain behind the blank expression was plainly visible it was the same look of hurt and loneliness she had seen in the hospital. She had also seen that look in her father's eyes after her mother died. How Richard had become so damaged? She did not know, but it was plainly written in his eyes.

"You deserv…." Rick cleared his throat, "you deserve better, Kate"

"How you know what I deserve?"

"I'm broken Kate. You deserve someone whole. You don't need any more Drama in your life."

"Richard, wake up! Everybody is broken in some way. We all have our issues. It's an imperfect world and we are imperfect people, but we get by. When I first me you, I was prepared for the whole 'Bad Boy' thing and you didn't disappoint. What I did not expect was the person behind the image. You would have been one hell of a cop. You got the intelligence and the instinct and while your empathy for the victim could use a little work your drive for the truth is outstanding. I have been partnered with more that half a dozen men and women while I have been on the force, but there has been only one partner that I felt fully in sync with, and that is you."

"Why Kate I never…" Castle began to sway "Uh Oh, Kate help me to the couch. The pain meds just kicked in and I haven't eaten anything at all today….."

When Castle came back to himself he was lying down. He was fairly sure that he was lying down on the couch. His head was resting on something warm. He became aware that Kate was resting his head on her lap. She seemed to be gently tracing his face with her fingers and was humming a quiet tune.

"You have a lovely voice Kate." He whispered

"Well, look who is back from the land of the seriously stoned. How are you feeling?"

"Woozy. How long have I been out?"

"Only about an hour and before you start freaking out dinner is staying warm in the oven."

He looked up into her eyes hoping that he would see no recriminations there and found none. He smiled content for the first time since he had been shot. When she returned the smile his heart soared. He reached up and gently cupped her cheek. She leaned into his palm, closing her eyes contentedly.

"I could get used to this." she purred.

"What?" Castle queried.

"This," she gestured around "All of this. Since my mother died I really haven't had a family so being included in your family has made me understand what I have missed. And surprisingly I want it."

"Detective Beckett," Castle jibed "You want the whole 'family' thing? Complete with squalling infants?"

"Well I don't know about infants but a baby would be nice" she admitted. "Richard, I'm honest enough with myself to know that I have maybe one serious relationship in me. If I don't get it right the first time I'm not trying again."

"What about Will?"

"It was never _really_ serious. He and I both knew that he would choose the job over me, just as I would do the same to him. I think I wanted it to be serious because I didn't think that I would get another chance, but then you came along."

"And then you were sure you had lost your chance." Rick grinned.

Kate smiled. "I will never forgive you, you know"

"Forgive me? Forgive me for what?"

"For being something more than an inflated ego. For having a brilliant and gifted daughter, for inviting me into your home, and for showing me that work isn't the only thing to live for. "

"Well, Kate you make me sound like quite the scoundrel. A merciless Villain with a Handlebar mustache and a penchant for tying damsels in a dress to the local railroad tracks." He said while twisting the ends of his imaginary mustache.

Kate laughed. She wondered why she had such a problem being in his company when they first met. True, he was in full bad boy mode at the party and the subsequent investigation, but when they were alone the bad boy went on the back burner and Castle the Writer would immerge. The Writer was a thoughtful if somewhat jaundiced man would look at a crime scene dispassionately while searching for clues. Now she supposed she was seeing Richard 'the Family Man'.

Her reverie was broken when Richard sat up. Feeling a pang of regret that their time cuddling on the couch was over she stood and went into the kitchen to pull dinner out of the oven it was warming in and onto plates. The phone rang into the silence. Curious she listened as Richard picked up the phone.

"Rene, I am glad you called me back. I was starting to feel a little neglected"

Rene!?! Who was she and why was she calling Castle! Beckett's mind exploded into thoughts of jealousy and hurt.

**A/N: **

**T**his went a little more angsty than I had originally intended. If you have an opinion let me know


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:** I have set an ambitious goal of trying to update every other day. I don't know how long I can keep it up but I am going to try. Consequently I will apologize in advance for my grammatical and any spelling errors. Also to those who have noted that I do not use contractions as much as I could in conversation there are two reasons. First, all of my English teachers I ever had were constantly telling me that I shouldn't use contractions in my papers. Secondly when I am writing dialog there is a certain rhythm or speech pattern in my head that I am writing to and sometimes the rhythm dictates the words that I write. 'Nuff said ENJOY!

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**III  
****The Apartment  
****Castle & Beckett**

"Rene, you know that you are the only one I want, right? You know I love, don't you?" Richard schmoozed.

Kate stood still listening to Richard Castle flirting outrageously with Rene. Conflicting emotions raced through her mind. How could he express feelings for her but then flirt with some bimbo on the phone? Beckett was surprised and the vehemence of her jealousy. She never considered herself a possessive person, but when it came to Richard apparently she did not want to share.

"Come on Rene, I had nothing to do with that, it was all Black Pawn's idea. If it had been my choice it would only be you. Look, come around tomorrow morning, I'll take you to breakfast and sufficiently grovel for forgiveness. Okay?"

Rick finished the call and moved into the kitchen area. The emotional temperature had cooled to near freezing. He frowned, mentally retracing the conversation he had been having with Kate to see where he could possibly cause the venomous looks that the detective was shooting his way.

"Okay, Kate, let me start by apologizing for whatever it is I have done to upset you. I 'm sure it's my fault. If I weren't doped to the gills with pain killer I would fall on my face and grovel for you to forgive me."

"_Richard" _her voice ice cold. "Who is Rene?"

Castle was truly amazed. This extraordinary woman before him was acting jealous, had this been any other time or if he had been feeling better, he would have rubbed her nose in her feelings of jealousy, but not tonight.

"Rene as in Rene Fabouis the A-list party planner; He planned the Mayor's Re-election Gala last year. He is a royal pain in the ass but he is the best at what he does."

"He? Rene is a he?"

"Yes Rene is a he… You thought Rene was a she? You were jealous? Oh, Kate, I may be all kinds of wise-ass but one thing I have never been is a cheater. If I am in a relationship I don't date other women. I was on the receiving end of an affair with Meredith so I know what that feels like."

"What about your Castle groupies or bimbettes?" Kate countered

"Always one night stands all of them, and no implied relationships. And I never pull one nighters while in a relationship, not even with Gina."

Richard moved up to Kate and looked into her eyes. Those deep lipid pools were clouded by confusion. It was always easy for Castle to get lost in her eyes. Her eyes were a contradiction, you could see both the hard edge that her job required and you could also see her vulnerability shining through. He wished that he could somehow ease her fears. He leaned forward and whispered.

"I know we are not in an _official_ relationship, but I will never cheat on you, not even with Gina." He grinned broadly at his rejoinder.

Unexpectedly Becket closed the gap between their bodies and pulled him into a fierce kiss. Their lips met and an electric trill ran up Rick's spine. Her eager lips seemed intent on devouring him. He wrapped his arms around her waist and began to rain kisses down her skin to the nape of her neck. As he greedily kissed the graceful swoop of skin between her neck and shoulder, Kate gave a sharp intake of breath and moaned his name.

Just as he was about to suggest that they should adjourn to his room for some privacy the door bell rang. Castle sagged and placed his head on her shoulder. "Who ever they are, they have lousy timing"

Rick wrapped an arm around Kate's shoulder and moved toward the front door. He was still very dizzy from the painkillers, so he needed her to help steady himself. When he staggered to the side she instinctively wrapped her arm around his waist.

"When you finish with whoever is at the door you are going straight to bed." Kate stated trying not to grunt from his weight.

"Promises, Promises" he mumbled

Rick looked through the peephole and cursed softly.

"Kate I want you to know that officially my Karma sucks"

"What?" Kate asked confused.

"Look, promise me that you won't freak and run, please."

"Okay." She promised as the doorbell rang again.

Rick opened the door to reveal Meredith in all of her narcissistic splendor. She was dressed in a figure hugging teal dress that if it had been just a few inches longer would have been considered a gown. She looked every inch a model straight off the pages of Cosmo or GQ. Kate felt intimidated. She could face down killers and thugs, but Meredith was way out of Kate's league. Beckett felt the urge to run but Richard had grabbed her hand in a death grip.

"Meredith, why are you here?" Rick asked

"Why I'm here to take care of you, Honey Bunny."

"No Meredith, you're not."

"Of course I am. When I heard that you were shot I rushed over here to take care of you."

"Meredith, that was almost a month ago." Richard interjected.

"Well Richard, I had to finish the film I was shooting didn't I? I just couldn't run off willy nilly now could I?" Meredith sounded petulant.

Castle looked into the hall and shuddered when he saw her bags waiting for entrance. Rick knew that he had to stop those bags from coming into the apartment.

"So Mere, I see you've not had time to check into a hotel. I tell you what, why don't I call George the doorman to come get your bags in a cab and then you can go to your hotel check in and rest from your weary journey"

"Nonsense Richard I'm going to stay here with you. I'll put my thing in the guest bedroom."

"No Meredith, You're not staying in the apartment. We're divorced remember? So that makes cohabitation out of the question. I appreciate that you came all the way from L.A. but you need to stay in a hotel."

"Richard, I don't understand, how am I going to nurse you back to health if I am not here?"

"Well, I am doing pretty well as it is. I don't need a nurse."

"Kitten you need some to care for you." Meredith pouted.

"That's alright Meredith, I've got that job" Kate interjected.

Kate had felt like she had been watching a bad telenovella. Besides Richard's death grip on his arm, the two 'combatants' had ignored her. Not that she minded, Meredith was a part of Castle's life long before Kate and she was having a hard time integrating that fact into her Castle world view. She felt a pang of sorrow that there was a part of Richard's adult life that she could not be apart of. However Alexis was a part of that past and she could not regret Alexis being alive.

It amazed her that Rick, who had to be one of the most easygoing people she knew, was standing up to the She Witch outside his door. As she watched to two spar she noticed that Rick was getting paler and remembered that Castle had not yet eaten. She was sure that it was only a matter of time before he collapsed. So when the opportunity presented itself she jumped in.

Meredith was taken somewhat aback when the Detective spoke up. She had paid scant attention to the policeman when she arrived, thinking that perhaps that she was just there consulting on a case. She now saw that Ricky was holding the Detective's hand. What was her name, Becker.. No. Decker.. No.. Beckett? That was right it was Detective Beckett. She looked at what was turning out to be her chief rival for the Author's affections. Meredith tried to find fault with the woman but it was difficult. The Detective was pretty in an everyday kind of way. She dressed well on a civil servant salary; she was even poised and confident. There was very little to find fault with. Meredith had always believed that she and Richard would eventually reconcile, her past indigression not withstanding, but Detective Beckett was now in the way of that happening. She considered her options and realized that retreat at this moment might be the best option.

"Alright Kitten, I'll go to a hotel but I will be back tomorrow to help you mend."

"I'll call George to get you a Taxi." Richards added helpfully.

As sonn as the door closed Castle placed his back to the door and slid down to the floor. Keeping Meredith of the apartment had taken all his energy. He looked gratefully up at Kate.

"You know that I owe you big time, right?"

Kate smirked "I'll remind you, often."

"Anything you want, Vacation in the Caymans, fashion week in Paris, you name it. There is even a nice bungalow down in the Keys that Alexis is very fond of, I would love to take you and Alexis down there sometime… soon, very, very soon"

Reaching down she grabbed Castle's hands and help him to his feet.. The author was still pale and his arms trembled with strain but with the help of the detective he was able to stand. He looked between the bedroom and the couch, deciding that since he had yet to eat he would opt for the couch. Half staggering half leaning on Beckett he at last made it to the couch. Collapsing onto his soft overstuffed couch, he surveyed the cold dinner plates; he sighed and pulled out his phone.

"Pizza" he said to Kate

Kate sat down beside Castle still pondering the events of the previous half hour. Rick had actually resisted the temptation of the 'Deep Fried Twinkie'. Last spring he had described sex with his ex-wife Meredith as a guilty pleasure, but here he was denying himself that pleasure. Then Rick had talked of taking Kate away on vacation, should she read anything into that statement or was he simply being Castle? The unexplored territory of their relationship was causing her confusion. Soon they would need to lay down the ground rules, but looking at how exhausted Richards looked, she decided that tonight was not the time.

Richard looked on as Kate was lost in thought. Unthinkingly he reached around her shoulders and pulled Beckett close. She was warm and soft and felt so good molded next to him. He wondered how he had gotten so lucky. Somehow Kate Beckett had eluded all of his defenses and wormed her way right into his soul. He knew that they were on dangerous ground, neither one of them were very good at long term relationships and the situation was ripe for misunderstandings. They would have to talk about the situation and soon.

"Kate we need to talk." He started.

"Yes, but not tonight, okay?"

"Sure, but soon, you are too important to me, I don't want to screw this up."

"Me too….. Kitten"

"I asked you not to call m……" Rick was interrupted by his cell phone ringing.

Looking at the caller ID he swore, "Bloody Hell!"

"What?"

"It's Gina my Editor slash Ex-wife. I haven't heard from her in weeks" he declared.

"You were right Richard." Kate smiled

"What?"

"Your Karma sucks!"

An hour later after they had both had their fill of pizza. They sat on the couch before a gas fire warming themselves. The time had passed in a comfortable silence for the most part talking only there was a need, each gaining comfort from the acceptance of the other.

"Kate, I want to ask you something. Now, I don't want you to freak out and it's okay if you say no, alright?"

"That sounds ominous, are you going to ask me to go to you bedroom to see your etchings?" she smirked

"Not quite, Kate would you…. Would you stay the night….. Not in my room… in the guest room… Not that I don't want you in my bedroom, but … I just think that I will sleep better if you are here. I mean, I would love for you to sleep with me but I'm not up to…"

Mercifully she stopped his rambling.

"Yes, Richard I'll stay." She said easing his worry.

**A?N:** A little marshmallow fluff to go with the angst. See you soon


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N:** Here we are again Enjoy!

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**IV  
****Castle's Apartment  
Alexis, Kate & Castle**

Kate lay snuggled under a goose down comforter and in between Egyptian cotton sheets. It had been a long day and she should be dead tired but her mind still reeled over the night's events. Her thoughts raced through her work day and only slowed down when she began to ponder her interactions with Castle. She tried to analyze what had happened. As always her emotions clouded her perspective. She found herself replaying their kisses over and over in her head. She cursed herself of acting like a schoolgirl. They were just kisses, but they seemed overly vivid in her thoughts. They had been extraordinary kisses, but she should still be able to maintain her perspective on the situation. She was shocked at the disarray that she had found Richard's mental state in. He had always been larger than life, a rock in the tempestuous storm of life as a cop. She had felt safe opening up to the man after only a few weeks of knowing him. She had known Will for almost six months before she would even acknowledge her tragedy. She had told herself that she has show him her darkness so that he could better understand her motivation's thus he could write Nikki Heat with a better grasp on Kate's thought process.. In her more truthful moments she knew that she wanted Richard to know about her, to care about her and now he had told her that he did care. Here she was, in bed in Castle's guest room, feeling entirely too comfortable. Beside her racing thoughts, she did not have any of the anxiety that she knew that she should be feeling. What if he came into her room and slid into bed with her. Would she protest? Would she accept him with open and anxious arms? Even in the most mundane of matters it seemed that Richard Castle drove her crazy. Her musings were interrupted by a soft knock.

"Kate" came a soft whisper from Alexis.

Kate was simultaneously relived and disappointed that it was not Richard.

"I'm awake Alexis, you can come in."

Her young friend slipped into the room on bare feet and padded to the foot of the bed. The soft light from the lights out in the hall showed Kate that Alexis was in distress. Beckett felt her heart go out to the teen. She carried the weight of being Richard Castle's daughter with such ease and poise that it was very easy to forget that she was just a young girl, with a teenager's insecurities and hormones. Beckett sat up in bed.

"What's wrong sweetie?"

At the word 'sweetie' Alexis's will seemed to crumble and she threw herself into the waiting arms of her friend. Kate wrapped her arms around the weeping teen and comforted her as best she could. Beckett felt a mixture of emotions, she was scared that she would not be able to help Alexis with whatever problems she was currently wrestling with, but she also felt love for the young women who entered her life as Castle's daughter and was now a close friend. Kate waited for initial storm of weeping to pass. At last Alexis regained control of her emotions.

"Sorry." Alexis said while pulling a tissue out to wipe her eyes.

"You have nothing to feel sorry for Alexis. I'm glad that I can be here for you. What can I help you with?"

"Can you help my dad?"

"I don't know how much anybody can help your dad. The doctors were able to heal his body, but there is not much anybody can do to help him come to grips with being shot. The mind has to heal itself."

"He seems better since you have been here tonight."

"Thanks Lexi, but I don't know if that is because he really feels better or because he doesn't want me to see how bad he feels."

"Why would he want to hide? He cares about you. I mean, about most things he is brutally honest."

"As much as I hate to say it, your father is a very complicated person. He is very protective with the people he cares about the most. Not showing his pain is in his somewhat twisted way of protecting us."

"Protecting us from what?" Alexis asked.

"I think he feels that you and I would be scared to know just how bad he feels."

"That's just stupid."

"Yeah, well, he is Richard Castle" Kate opined. "You know, I get the feeling that there is something else bothering you as well."

"How? Never mind, I can see that I am not going to be able to get anything past you. It's Owen. There is this really beautiful girl at school that decided she wanted Owen so she lied to him in order to get him to notice her."

"Did she say something about you?" Kate was furious. She felt very protective of Alexis and very mad that someone had hurt her.

"No she just said that they had gone to camp together and that she had a crush on him ever since. I found out that she had never gone to camp, but by that time it was too late and Owen was already gone."

"Honey, if Owen can be swayed by such a lame story, then he is not worth the tears."

"But it hurts" Alexis cried

"Oh I know, it hurts like hell but you will get through it. When I was just about your age there was this guy in my school that I was so in love with. Eric Johnson, he was very popular…."

"You're not going to tell me you were the shy girl are you, 'cause I am not going to buy that. " Alexis interjected.

"No, I was on the Volleyball team and he was running Cross Country, but the point is that I had the hots for the guy. We hung out at school together and had gone on a few dates, and when I thought that he was going to ask me to go to Prom, he told me that 'we needed to see other people.' It turned out that he had been asked to the Prom by the Captain of the Cheerleading Squad."

"So you stayed home and did not go to the Prom?" Alexis asked.

"No, but I felt miserable for a couple of weeks and then I got asked to the Prom by Gideon Marshall, a very hunky Drum Major. What I am trying to say is that after enough time had gone by for me to get over the breakup; I began to think very fondly of Eric. Your first Love can be very special and although you don't think so now, you will get over Owen and find someone else. Owen may regret his decision and try to make it up to you, but I don't know if you should accept him back if he does."

"What ever happened to Eric and Gideon?" Alexis inquired.

"Well, Gideon and I dated up until we graduated High School and we have stayed in touch with each other, ever since He eventually got married to my roommate from my freshman year at college."

"Wow that must have sucked.'

"No it didn't. I was the one that introduced them to each other. Gideon and I had become really good friend during high school but we knew that we weren't made for each other. I was happy for the both of them, as matter of fact I was both Best Man and Maid of Honor."

"How is that possible?" asked a very puzzled Alexis

"It was a very small Oceanside wedding. I was the only attendant. It was a very beautiful ceremony." Kate said wistfully.

"And what happened to Eric"

Kate sighed "He and his Prom date were killed in a drunk driving accident."

"Oh My God, That could have been you!"

"Yes it could have been. It probably would have been. I don't think that at that point and time I would have worried about his getting drunk. Not what you want a police office to admit I know, but there it is."

"You weren't a cop then…. Did that tear up?" Alexis asked.

"Yeah, it really tore the whole high school up. It took awhile but I did get over the quilt. For a time I felt sort of charmed. Like an angel was looking out for me."

Alexis let out a small cry and hugged Kate tighter.

"Alexis, what is wrong?" Kate asked worriedly.

"This is the type of conversation I always pictured having with my mother."

Kate was overwhelmed. The flood of emotions whirled through her mind. At that moment Kate felt, for perhaps the first time, the stirrings of her maternal instinct. A lump formed in her throat and tears brimmed in her eyes. She also felt panic. She had never really considered what it would be like to have a daughter so she was taken unaware by the feelings that stirred within her. She was also guilt ridden because it felt to her like she was usurping Meredith's place.

"Alexis I am sure your mother would love for you to talk to her about this."

"It's okay Kate. I love my Mom very much, but I just can't talk to her about stuff like this. I know she cares, but she is just not equipped to handle these types of things. I have tried to talk about my problems with her, but I just don't think she can deal with anybody else's drama. I love her, I really do, but I just don't feel that close to her." Alexis explained.

"But you have friends at school you can talk to, right.'

"Yeah, but none of them have the perspective to help."

"So what you are saying is I'm old……"

The two friends both paused as they heard a muffled cry. Kate made a move to get up and go to see Castle, but Alexis held her back.

"Give him a couple of minutes." Alexis requested. "He is going to want time to compose himself before he will want to see you..

"What?"

"Trust me; I have been through this before. He'll get all upset if you go in there before he has had a chance to calm down. …. Thank you so much for being here for us. It means a lot to me and I am sure it does to Dad too."

Alexis gave her a firm hug and moved to the door. She gave a brief smile to Kate.

"He is out on the couch now, so it should be okay." Alexis said as she slipped out and down to her room.

Kate got up and slipped into the robe that Castle had provided for her use. When he had produced the Robe and some sleepwear that fit her she had felt a pang of jealousy. It was only his sad and tired expression that has stilled her tongue. She slipped out of the guest room and moved to the top of the stairs. She regarded him as he sat on the overstuffed couch in front of the gas fire. He had apparently been teasing her or he had decided not to run around his house nude because he was wearing a tee shirt and pajama pants as he lounged by the fire. She move down beside him and looked at the haggard expression on his face.

"You look like hell, Richard."

"Thank you for the kind words, Kate"

Kate sat down beside Castle and drew her feet up under her. He wrapped his arm around her shoulder as she moved close to rest her head on his chest. Silence reign as the two try to compose their tumultuous thoughts.

"If we do this, you'll want to keep it out of the office, I suppose?" Castle said at last.

"I can't see it being any other way." Kate replied

"You know that we are not going to be able to keep it a secret."

"I am sure that Esposito and Ryan already suspect."

"I'm not talking about them, I'm talking about everybody. The gossip rags have already put us in bed together, so to speak and it is just going to get worse." Rick lamented.

"I guess that it'-s inevitable." Kate replied

"I could mitigate things by showing up with another woman on my arm when I go to parties and the like, but I would prefer not doing that. I told you that I have a one woman rule. Besides I would rather proud to have you on my arm."

"I am having a hard enough time being you inspiration. I don't know if I can handle girlfriend."

"Girlfriend, I like the sound of that. But since you are a women shouldn't it be Womenfriend?"

"Can't you ever be serious?" Kate reached over and playfully slapped his right shoulder. She remembered his gunshot and lifted her head off the left side of his chest..

He gently pushed her head back onto his chest. "My wound is healing fine. It is actually feels very comforting to have you there." Rick squeezed her tightly.

"So we have agreed to go slow?'

"We have been going positive glacial so far. I hope you don't mean that we go slower. 'cause if you are then we will be old and gray before we even go out on a date."

"No I just mean, we are going to start shacking up and having wild sex parties anytime soon."

"So you are saying eventually we get to have wild sex parties, … at some point in the future? Really?"

"No, I just mean that I am not moving in anytime soon" Kate explained

"You are welcome to stay here anytime you want, either in the guest room or _MY_ room." He paused. "I want it all with you Kate. I want you in my life, my home, my bed, all of it. I'll try to contain my enthusiasm but my impulse control is severely lacking."

"Don't I know it. I'm happy that you feel that way Richard, that you want me here but I don't think me being thrust into your family life is very fair to Alexis. I care about her too much to intrude."

"You know, it has just occurred to me, the only woman I have ever brought home was Gina, the blood sucking harpy. Man, my track record sucks…. Anyway I think Alexis cares for you about as much as I do."

"I care for her too, but I don't want her to feel like she has to compete for you attention."

"Hey we're going slow. We're going slow. It's not like I am going to start demanding that Alexis call you Mom. What she calls you is between to two of you. Just so long as it's not Mommy Dearest, I'll be happy."

"I just want her to be comfortable around me."

"And she's not comfortable now?" Castle asked

"No she is, but we are going slow, remember?"

"Yeah, Yeah, Slow, how about coming by for Breakfast, mornings?"

"Breakfast?" she asked

"Yeah, Breakfast, you know the most important meal of the day? My apartment is not that far out of your way to the precinct. Coffee and Omelets or maybe a muffins, or juice, we could start the day together. If we have a case I can ride in with you, if not then you can go in and I can stay and write your alter ego." He was pensive for a moment. "You won't get jealous of Nikki will you?"

Kate laughed. "I think I can deal with her."

"That's good"

They sat in a lazy silence until they both succumbed to sleep and stayed curled up together until Alexis woke them in the morning.

**A/N: **I am getting to the Plot I swear......... Eventually :


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: **Here we are again. Enjoy!

**V  
****Castle's Apartment  
****Castle, Beckett & Rene**

Kate stepped into the hot shower to wash off yesterday's grime. She started every morning with a hot shower. She felt it gave a symbolic clean slate each day. She also needed the shower to get her emotional equilibrium back, dealing with Castle and Alexis had left her feeling emotionally exposed. She wanted to step back and regroup. She had learned a long time ago that emotional armor was necessary to survive in her profession and in her life. She found it difficult to gain the emotion distance from Alexis and Richard. She found that she did not really want to

"Kate," came Castles voice from inside the bathroom,

"Castle, what are doing in here?"

"I needed to talk to you, and you were in here so this is where I came."

"Are you facing the outer door?"

"No, why on earth would I want to do that? The view is much better facing toward the shower." Rick chuckled evilly.

"Castle, STOP!"

"Come on Kate the glass is frosted. I can't see anything, except the general outline. Which I must say is quite pleasing."

"Castle, turn around."

"You are taking all of the fun out of it. Hey do you need me to wash your back? I've been told that I am quite the profession back washer." He quipped

"Richard, NO." Kate has to smile. He sounded so much more like himself this morning. She peeked out of the glass shower doors to see that he was indeed turned away for the shower doors. "So what did you just have to tell me?"

"Oh, yeah, sorry seeing your beautiful outline got me totally off track. One Meredith is on her way. She called, I guess to warn me or something. Oh, and Captain Montgomery called there has been a hazmat spill outside of the Precinct and it probably won't be cleaned up until afternoon. They will call you if they have a body."

"He called me here?" Beckett panicked

"What? No, he called you cell phone."

"You answered my cell phone?"

"Well, yeah, it was ringing…. But don't worry I told him that I had taken you out to breakfast to do some research on my next Nikki Heat book. I was thinking about calling it "Shimmering Heat". She could go undercover as a stripper to catch a psycho who thought he was Jack the Ripper reborn."

"That sounds like you, Richard."

"You know I could get a stripper pole for my bedroom. You could do a couple of routines to get me into the mood."

"Not happening Castle."

"It was just a thought, anyway Meredith should be charging in here in about a half hour, so if you're into long solo showers she should be here by the time you get out. So with the fortuitous spill keeping you from work we can get breakfast."

"If Meredith's going to be here I would rather not."

"You would leave me to the machinations of the "Deep Fried Twinkie?"

"Castle, she is you Ex-wife not mine."

"And your point is? Look you're my rock, my anchor, my solid ground. Besides if she turns vicious I can throw you in front of her and escape."

"That is a real adult way of handling the situation."

"Hey can't have it both ways either I'm a twelve year old or I'm not. Besides in my current state of mind I don't know if I can handle her alone. You don't want me doing something we will regret later."

"What do you mean?" Kate queried

"It's emotional inertia; I was once married to her. She has always been able to push my buttons. I mean, half the times we have had sex after the divorce, she is the one who started it."

"Oh, so you are blaming her for you not being able to keep _IT_ in your pants." Kate shot back.

'This is why I can't stand him' she thought. It was his constant flakiness. One minute he was the suave charmer and the next he was the adolescent man-child, with the will of a gnat. How could she have a meaningful relationship him. Kate felt he spirits fall when she came to the realization that she did not think that she had the strength to be able to have a lasting relationship with this man.

"Look, Castle, just go out there and do whatever. I don't care. Just leave me the hell alone..." She yelled.

Tears coursed down her face as she heard the door close and he left without comment. Her track record with any relationship of a romantic nature was abysmal. Hers was a line drawn in the sand, her 'partners' had to follow that line and not deviate. Kate Beckett's world was in black and white, right and wrong, sin or sainthood. She knew that she should be more forgiving but it was just not in her character. She exited the shower quickly dressed and fled the apartment.

Richard watched her leave, with a look of utter failure on his face. He realized in hindsight exactly where his mistake had been. He had thought that she had wanted the status quo, the Castle that she knew, the jokester. Apparently they were past that after last night. Well they had been past that until about fifteen minutes ago. Now things were all screwed up, again. Castle was amazed at how much trouble he could get into, just by being himself.

"Is it bad?" Alexis asked.

"Moderately bad Sweetie." He replied

"Can you fix it?"

"I don't know, I can certainly try… I _will_ certainly try."

"Do you want me to talk to her?" Alexis offered

"Thanks, Baby Bird, but I have to get out of this one on my own"

* * *

The doorbell rang and Castle went to get it. When opened up there stoop a plump man of small stature. His silk suit was the height of fashion, his hair was impeccably cut and he had rings on all ten fingers, Rene Fabouis in all his glory.

"Richard" Rene's voice was as flamboyant as his attire. "What can I do you out of today?"

Castle had always like Rene. He was a pompous windbag and he tended to be loud, but he was, in his own way, genuine. He was also the best party planner anywhere on the East Coast in high demand and very expensive. When Richard has first been published, he had hired the then unknown Rene to plan his book launch celebration. Rich has spent almost his entire advance from his first book on throwing that bash, but it had been worth every penny. Castle had used that event to network with the higher ups in Black Pawn. He had used the opportunity to put his eager face in front of the public and private movers and shakers in the publishing industry which came in handy when his book hit the best sellers list and he wanted to negotiate a bigger advance for his second book. He had also met Meredith there.

Rene was no less ambitious. He had pulled out all the stops and also sunk a lot of his own capital in throw the gala. Rene spent the entire party getting his name on the lips of the rich and famous. That party had jumpstarted his career and for that he was always grateful to the young writer, that young brash, cocky writer, who now stood before him, a broken man.

"Richard are you alright?" Rene asked concerned.

"I'm fine Rene, just had words with my ex-wife, Meredith."

"My apologies, she always was a spitfire. So you said you wanted to plan a party?"

"Yeah, a get well party. Actually more of a thank God I'm alive party."

"Ah, a celebration of life, is that it?"

"That is a good way to put it. It's a small gathering about one hundred and fifty or so."

"I am still upset that I did not get to do your last book launch party."

"I know Rene, but you can blame Gina the Blood Sucking Harpy, for that one. I think she in some ways blames you for our divorce. She made all the arrangements for the Heat Wave launch party. Like I told you n the phone, you're my go to guy."

"I believe you Richard, so let's get this party started."

* * *

**The Precinct**

**Kate Beckett**

**Later that day**

Kate sat at her desk trying desperately to avoid breathing too deeply and feeling totally miserable. The stench of the cleaning chemicals that had been used outside the precinct lay heavy in the air. The spill had been cleared away but it still smelled bad. Her soul felt sick at the way she had reacted at Castle's apartment. She had felt emotionally vulnerable and had used his dealings with Meredith as an excuse to push him away. Now if he succumbed to Meredith's charms then she would feel like she pushed him to do it. The more she thought about the last couple of days the more frightened she became. Had she ruined her chance? Would he understand what she was going through? Would he forgive her?

"Hey Beckett" Ryan called out "You've got a visitor, in the conference room."

Beckett frowned. She didn't think that Richard would be coming by, he was supposed to be on bed rest, besides he would just come over to her desk. Ryan's smirk meant something weird was up. Walking to the Conference room she tried to gather her thoughts. Standing in the doorway she observed her visitor. Meredith stood in the room looking out the window.

"Meredith? To what do I owe the honor?"

"You know full well why I'm here." Meredith spat.

"Uh, no I don't."

"I don't know how you did it but I guess congratulations are in order."

"What?" Kate was confused.

"You have stolen both of them from me."

"Huh?"

"Oh don't play stupid, you have stolen my family from me." Meredith cried.

"Meredith, I have not stolen anything from you."

"Oh, you are so catty. You have stolen the affections of my husband and my daughter from me. Don't act like you have no clue. Over the last nine months you have quietly and effectively taken their love from me." Meredith was in full histrionics.

"Meredith, first of all Alexis loves you very much and has told me so on several occasions. Second you cheated on and divorced Richard. If you don't think that was when you lost him then you need to have your head examined." Kate returned.

"Were you sleeping with him when I was here last spring?"

"No! Truth be told we haven't slept together yet."

"You are such a lying bitch!" Meredith shouted

"You are in total denial aren't you Meredith. You think that Richard's affection can be bought with sex. Well I've got news for you…."

"You don't deserve him!" Meredith interrupted

"Deserve! Deserve! Did Rick deserve you cheating on him with the director of the movie you were working on or the subsequent divorce? Does he deserve the constant interruptions to his and Alexis' life every time you decide to pop in from L.A. with little or no warning? Does Alexis deserve to grow up without a mother present? Don't talk to me about what I deserve. Think about what Richard and Alexis deserve."

Meredith, who was rendered speechless for the first time since Kate had met her, began to cry and ran out of the room. Kate immediately felt bad about losing her temper at Meredith, but not too bad.

"Wow, Beckett I knew you could make suspect cry but a Hollywood Hottie, impressive." Ryan quipped as he walked into the room.

"Stow it Kevin." Beckett shot back. Now she had to go and make an apology and eat some crow. She just hoped that Castle wouldn't rub it in too much.

* * *

**Castles Apartment**

**The Roof top**

**Beckett and Castle**

The drive to Castle's apartment had been uneventful if somewhat short. She had tried, to no avail to compose her apology on the drive but had come up empty. Beckett had always had a problem trying to apologize for her mistakes. Whoever said it was better to ask forgiveness rather than permission must never have had to say 'I'm sorry'.

When she had arrived at the door she was met by a concerned Alexis who worriedly pointed toward the roof and offered brief directions on how to get there. She now stood watching Castle's back as he sat upon one of the air conditioning units, which because of the cool fall weather, was off. Beside him sat a half full bottle of Scotch. She fervently hoped he had not consumed that much of the bottle. She moved over to his side and waited for him to notice her.

"Detective Beckett, how are you this fine evening?"

She winced at the salutation. "I've… I have come to apologize for my behavior this morning" she stammered a lump of fear caught in her throat.

"No apologies necessary Detective, it's not like we are dating or anything." His sarcasm cut her.

"Richard…"

"No." his tone was almost harsh. "Don't do this, either you are in or your out. I… I can't take anything else."

"You're right Richard; we have been dancing around each other for nine months. We both done things to hurt each other, in that time. I guess the time has come to put our cards on the table. I'm scared Rick, I don't do relationships very well. I panicked this morning. I was afraid that Meredith would be able to turn you head, to make you stop thinking about me."

"There is no chance of that … Kate."

"I know that now. Please forgive me."

"Already done…. Now, can you help me down? Pain Killers and booze don't mix well."

"Rick!"

**A/N:** Again I apologize for the grammer and typos. it has been a busy couple of days and i did not get a lot of time to proof read this chapter.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: **Here we go again.** Enjoy.**

**VI  
Castles Apartment**

"Rick, Rick, stay with me." Kate shouted, gently smacking Castle's cheeks.

"Hey, Kate, ouch, stop hitting me!"

"You idiot! What were you trying to do, kill yourself?"

"Hey, I didn't down a bunch of pills and then drink a fifth of Bourbon. I'm just a little woozy, that's all. I took the pain pill three hours ago and only had about two fingers of Scotch." Rick explained.

"Well, Richard you have passed out on me twice already. Just hold on until the EMT's get here, then you can pass out."

"No, No, No you didn't call an ambulance"

"What, you could die, you imbecile." Kate shouted

"EMT's are the worst gossipers in the world; by the time they get here the media will have already reported that I've OD'ed and lay dead on some coroner's slab."

"That's what you get for being so stupid." Kate said satisfied that Castle would see some punishment for his transgression, even if it was only publicity.

"Do you really want to start answering question about my suicide attempt?"

"What?"

"You're a Cop, Kate. Cops are called to crime scenes. Last time I checked Self Murder is a crime. So if you don't fill out an incident report the press will ask why. If you do fill out a report they are going to ask why I am not being charged with anything." Rick explained.

"Ever heard of Accidental Overdose?" Kate countered.

"Does the word Cover-up mean anything to you? 'Cause the media will certainly scream Cover-up." Castle groused.

"We'll just have to deal with it because I can't un-call the EMT's"

Rick grabbed Kate's hand. "I do appreciate the concern, Kate. I really do, but this is going to be a pain in the ass until something even more sensational happens to take it off the front page."

"I hate to interrupt you two, but the medic's are here and the Mayor just called to make sure you aren't dead." Martha interjected

Kate was astonished. While she had seen the periphery of some of the publicity surrounding Castles life and shooting, but she had been in protective custody while the Media was running rampant while Rick was in the hospital and the Captain or the Mayor had fielded the questions when Castle started following her around doing research. So she was taken by surprise the mob of Reporters and Cameramen that had gathered while Richard was being checked out. She felt a little silly when the doctors had just held him for observation for a couple of hour before releasing him. One of the doctors had puller he aside and had grilled her to see if it had been a suicide attempt rather than just Castle's stupidity. He had assured her that she had been correct to get Castle to the hospital, just in case it had been worse.

Martha orchestrated their exit for the hospital, pointing out that if Kate wanted to stay on the edge of the media's awareness she should grab a cab back to the apartment and let her and Alexis been seen taking Richard home.

Even with the precautions Kate was surrounded by reporters and questioned about what the doctors were calling an 'adverse drug interaction'. She was also questioned about her involvement. She has been coached by Martha to say that she was there consulting on the Next Nikki Heat novel. Still she was deluged with personal questions, which she chose to ignore.

Back at the apartment she used the key that Martha had provided to enter. She felt like an intruder. Kate knew she should not feel uncomfortable there; she had slept in the guest room last night. There was still the lingering feeling of being an outsider. She debated on whether to leave or not, As she was pondering her cell phone rang.

"Beckett"

"Don't you dare leave before I get back." Castle demanded.

"Richard, what makes you think I was going to leave?"

"Don't forget, Kate, I know you. Besides we still need to talk."

"I think we have cleared the air."

"So I still want to talk to you. Look call Li Fong's tell them we want the usual. There is a menu by the refrigerator, just order what you want plus the usual and we can sit down to a nice dinner, okay?"

"Alright, do I use my credit card or what?"

"No need, Kate, we order so much from Li Fong's that they have all the information. Just tell them it's for Rick Castle and they will take care of the rest."

An hour later saw Kate and Castle sitting in his office eating some very delicious Chinese food. The food and Richard arrive about the same time. Alexis had begged off and had taken her food up to her room to do homework, Martha had place her food in the fridge and had blithely explained that she had a party to go to and had left.

"I feel like I need to apologize, Kate."

"What for this time?"

"At the artless way my family ditched us. They are just trying to get us some 'alone time'." Rick explained.

"Why would they want to do that?" Kate asked

"You are one of a very select few women, whom I am not related to, that I have brought home."

"So, you are saying I'm like a lost puppy."

"No, you aren't a lost puppy. Besides Gina and, of course Meredith, you are the only woman that I have asked into my home. Of all the women I have dated you are the only non-ex-wife to be allowed entrance."

"That seems to be pretty farfetched, Richard."

"It's true, let's just say that very few women that I have dated, I have wanted to take home to mother."

"And why do you still live with your mother?" Kate jibbed.

"She lives with me Kate. It's a fine distinction to be sure. Martha's last husband basically cleaned her out, and left her penniless, so I offered to let her stay with us until she got back on her feet. I get the feeling that she may never leave, but that's okay too."

"You are a very complicated man."

They sat in a comfortable silence while they ate. Kate tried to make sense of all the new information about Castle that she had gleaned in the last twenty-four hours. She tried to decide whether she should feel honored at being invited in Rick's home. Being in the same company as two ex-wives did not bode well.

After the dinner was done Kate got up to make her way toward the door. When she turned to say goodbye he wrapped her in his arms while his lips searched hungrily for her own. When, at last, they broke the kiss, Richard searched her face for what she was feeling.

"Good night Kate, Oh what would like for Breakfast tomorrow?"

Kate smiled, it had not been 'are you coming to Breakfast' but what do you want. "I don't have a preference, so long as there's coffee."

A week had passed and the Breakfast routine was becoming, just that, routine. Kate had been hesitant at first; still feeling a little like an outsider, but once Alexis started answering the door with a cup of coffee already made to Kate's taste she began to relax. The fact that neither Alexis nor Martha seemed to take any special notice of her presence but treated her as if she should be in their home helped enormously. She still had difficulty with the 'family' atmosphere, while Kate enjoyed the feeling of inclusion, she still has difficulty. She missed her mother and her family's time together.

**The 12****th**** Precinct**

**Kate & Alexis**

Life at the 12th was quiet. They still had a normal caseload but without Castle inserting himself into their work day, things seemed boring. No one mentioned the fact that they missed Castle, but it was evident.

The media frenzy over Castle's emergency room visit raged for a couple of days. Most reporters believed that the Bad Boy Writer had partied too hard after getting out of the hospital. To them 'adverse drug reaction' became 'partied too hard'. After fielding a hand full of calls from very determined reporters, Kate was left alone. She had heard through the grapevine that both the Captain and the Mayor's office had both been swamped with calls. Fortunately for Castle a beloved, retired City Councilman died and a Rock Star had trashed his hotel room after playing Yankee stadium so Castle was old news. Kate decided that she would wait as long as possible before she opened herself up to the media's scrutiny.

Kate was somewhat surprised when she saw Alexis waiting at her desk. A shiver of dread coursed through her. Was Castle in trouble again? Kate noticed that Alexis has a slight smile on her face and relaxed.

"Alexis, how is everything?" Kate asked

"Detective Beckett," Alexis said trying to cover an impish grin. "Everything is fine. I came as a messenger."

Alexis handed Kate, Ryan, and Esposito envelopes, "These are invitations to my dad's 'get well' party"

"A Masked Ball?" Ryan sounded incredulous.

"Rene decided to go big. He has convinced Dad to throw a Masquerade Ball."

"So it's a costume party" Esposito asserted.

"No Javier, you wear formal clothes and a decorated mask. What's this about a charity?" Kate asked.

"Oh, that was Dad's caveat if he is going to be throwing a big party for the upper crust; he was going to soak them for a good cause. Dad chose the Fraternal Order of Police. It's for the Widow and Orphan fund. He has included tickets for all of you. He figured that since you were police you really did not need to shell out for the tickets. Dad is footing the bill for the party so all proceeds go to the Widow's fund."

"Two hundred dollars a ticket!" Ryan was flabbergasted.

"Hey bro, you aren't shelling the money out, so why should that bother you?" Esposito asked.

"I'm still out the Tux rental." Ryan lamented

"But think how impressed you date will be, scoring tickets to the hottest party in town.. She could be very grateful." Esposito countered.

"There is that." Ryan conceded.

"Alexis, would you like some coffee or a soda?" Kate queried

Alexis nodded and the two left Ryan and Esposito discussing the relative merits of going to posh parties, and the effects that such events had on the opposite sex.

"So, Alexis, how is your dad doing?"

"About the same, you just saw him this morning. Nothing has changed since then"

"How about his nightmares, are they getting better?"

"Not that I can tell. He still refuses to talk about them, Grams tried to get him to go to her shrink, but Dad being Dad, refused. They are just about killing me though. I hate that I cannot help him. He won't talk about them to me or Grams. It is just so frustrating."

"Well, I'm supposed to come by for dinner tonight, so I'll see if I can get anything out of him."

"I really did not come here to ask you to. I really came to give you the invitations, and to see you of course, as a friend." Alexis amended

Kate Smiled. "I know Sweetie. Sometime soon we are going to have some girl time. I could sure use some help picking out a dress for the party."

"Well I am certainly not averse to shopping."

"We'll talk about it tonight, unless you and Martha bail on us again." Kate quipped.

"Now would we do that?" Alexis asked innocently.

**A/N:** I'm wish to offer my thanks to all of you, the readers. your feedback keeps me going.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: **Enjoy!

**VII  
Castle's Apartment**

Castle worked in the kitchen most of the day, taking breaks when he would get tired. He his need for taking his pain meds was lessening which helped. He enjoyed cooking more than he would admit publicly. The fine art of taking raw ingredients and turning them into food was very satisfying. Early on in his writing career, as soon as he felt he could make requests of his publisher, he expensed a very exclusive Culinary Arts school for research. The tradeoff was having the murder in his book happen to a chef at his Cooking school. He received a topflight culinary education and a pretty cool way to kill some one.

As dinnertime neared he began to pull things together. The china and sliver were laid out on his finest linen tablecloth. The wine was chilling and the food ready to serve. He moved around the kitchen at a frenetic pace more anxious about this meal than he cared to admit.

"Geez Dad, calm down, everything looks perfect."

"I don't know, maybe I should use the china with the Juliet pattern. I hope Kate likes duck. I could scrape the duck and do steak. Do you think I should do steak?"

"Dad, calm down, you have cooked for Kate like a half dozen times now."

"Yeah, but this is dinner not breakfast. I want everything just right." Castle worried.

"She has been putting up with you for almost a year dad; I don't think she is going to bail because you overcooked the duck."

"You think I've cooked the duck too long.?" Richard worried.

"No, I don't. I'm just saying that you are worrying too much" Alexis said placating her father.

The doorbell rang before Castle could give voice to any more of his concerns. Alexis took the opportunity to run out of the kitchen with the excuse of answering the door. She felt a trifle guilty abandoning her father to fret alone in the kitchen, but she could only take his somewhat obsessive worry for so long. She opened the door to reveal a nervous Kate Beckett, dressed in a knee length red dress with a tasteful but slightly daring neck line. Alexis smiled reassuringly.

"Welcome to our home, Kate."

"That is a strangely formal greeting, Alexis." Kate replied

"You and Dad seem to be nervous tonight. So it seemed appropriate."

"Really your dad is nervous?"

"He has been in the kitchen all day preparing the meal. I hope you like Duck a l'Orange."

"Duck a L'Orange, wow! Now I feel underdressed."

"You look beautiful Kate. I think that this is only the third time I have seen you in a dress. It looks good on you. Poor dad, he is going to be totally distracted by that dress," Alexis giggled.

"Alexis don't hog the guest….." Castle stammered to a halt

"Close the mouth Rick, you're attracting flies." Kate jibbed

"Kate, I'm struck mute by your beauty." Rick flirted."Love the dress."

Kate blushed at the complement. "Thanks Richard."

"Would you like some wine before dinner?"

"Yes, please." She replied.

Dinner passed in the comfortable cocoon of camaraderie. The four talked of easy, safe topics. Kate and Richard would occasionally lock gazes each trying to communicate their nonverbal secrets. Alexis and Martha never let the silences last uncomfortably long, so the dinner moved along comfortably. When at last the dishes for the main course were cleared away, Alexis left to go to Paige's for a movie marathon and Martha went out to a Broadway premier and party, leaving Castle and Kate alone, again.

"I swear to you that my child and mother do live in this house, they don't just visit."

"I know Richard, I have been here before. I have even seen Alexis' room. They do tend to leave you to your own devices, don't they?" Kate replied.

"Too true, usually they stick like glue to me if and when Meredith and Gina are here. I guess they approve of you. I know all sorts of Female bonding went on while I was in the hospital. When I came out of the coma you all were as close as sisters. There was a time or two that I seriously wished I was back in the coma. It's no fun to be ganged up on by three women."

"You're a big boy Castle, you can take it. Speaking of your health, how are you doing?"

"Good most days. I only take the pain killers when I go to bed at night, or after physical therapy. I took some early afternoon so I could cook and not have to stop half way through. By the way we do have dessert I made chocolate mint cheesecake."

"Richard," Kate reached over and laid her hand on his."What about the nightmares?"

"Alexis told you didn't she?" he accused.

"Of course, Richard, we talk about you because we care about you. Alexis said that you didn't want to go see a doctor, but Richard you have got to do some help."

"No I don't. I am perfectly….."

"Castle, you wake up every night screaming, do you go back to sleep, I doubt it. Despite having you door closed I am sure Alexis and Martha know what's going on. You have got to talk to somebody."

"I am not going to talk to some shrink, who will somehow blame it on my mother and then try to medicate me and then five years down the road come out with a book about treating me."

"Richard," Kate tried a different tack, "After my mother died I had the nightmares, if I hadn't gotten help I would have put my gun in my mouth by now, and killed myself. I can't stress enough; you have got to talk to someone, if not a therapist the maybe someone in the clergy."

"Ha! Not happening. I would sooner be raked over glowing hot coals than talk to a priest."

"How can you be so stubborn? You did therapy after your divorce didn't you. Why can't you go again?"

"Because after I stopped being his patient I was the subject of his next book, the thinly veiled Rick Rook, with crazy, weird mother issues. I'll not be used like that again."

"Oh, Richard I'm so sorry. I didn't know…. Wait a minute, how come I haven't heard of this book?"

"Because when I got word that it was coming out, I sued his ass until I bankrupted the bugger. Now I have the only copy in print and it is buried and will never see the light of day."

"Isn't there anyone you can trust?" Kate asked.

"There are a few people that I trust, but I would never want to burden them with my problems. You see the people that I trust implicitly also happen to be the people I love. I could never place this burden on you or Alexis."

"Trust? Love?" Kate was stunned. Why was he being so cavalier with those words?

"Kate" Richard smiled a sad smile. "Is it so impossible for you to believe that I trust you? How many times have we been chasing some murderer and you have pulled my ass out of the fire? How many times have you saved my life? Is it so hard to believe that someone who has spent most of the last nine months with you would find reasons to love you? I love you Katherine Beckett."

"Oh, Castle no…."

Castle gently pulled Kate into an embrace. He could feel her heart racing. She was trembling. He did not know if her trembling was out of fear of being loved or something else. He turned his head so that he could look into her eyes. The fear was there as well. He thought that behind the fear he could see the young woman she had been before her mother died. The open hearted, trusting girl she had been before her tragedy. He mourned her loss. Slowly he pulled her closer. She resisted at first but when he whispered her name her resistance crumbled. His first kisses were light almost teasing but as their desire increased so did the pressure of their mouths. Their lips parted in unison as their desire to taste each other deepened. It wasn't until Richard had pulled them down so that they were lying on the couch that he noticed that she was crying.

"Kate, what…?"

"I am so sorry I… can't… say…."

"Sssh, there is no need.'

"But, you.." she sobbed.

"Yes I did, I said the _**L**_ word. But honey, I am not going to pressure you into saying anything before you are ready. We both have our trust issues, don't we? If you were to say _**those words**_ I would probably be trying to find a way to jack rabbit out of here."

"You deserve….."

"Haven't we already had this conversation before?"

"How can you…..?"

"Ssssh, we have all the time in the world." He said as he wiped away her tears away.

"But we don't have all the time in the world. Something could happen, one of us could die….."

"All the more reason to enjoy ourselves while we are together, and not worry about words." Castle assured.

It was Kate who pulled him into the embrace. For the two of them, time seemed to stop. It felt as if they had been kissing for days. They were both intoxicated with the joy of discovering those sensitive places where lover kisses evoked pleasure. At last they reached that point where to go any further would mean crossing the unspoken barrier that they had erected for themselves.

As they lay in each other's arms, Kate was lulled but the strong beat of Castles heart. Its steady beat was a reassuring pulse through her whole body. The sense of belonging increased. She was born to be right where she was at this particular time.

"After my mother died, and before I went to see a therapist, I would have dreams of dying. I was the one that had died. I would wake up just as the knife would enter my back. You haven't heard screams like I used to wake up my dad with. There was a time that I assumed that my father drank because he was trying to get a good night's sleep. It wasn't until after my initial bout of therapy that I understood that dad could not deal with mom being gone and that is why he was drinking."

"I don't dream about my death." Castle stated.

"Oh?"

"I first had the dream in the hospital. I am standing in a graveyard. It's gray and rainy; there are mourners all around a gravesite. Everybody is there, Martha, Alexis, Ryan and Esposito. You are standing beside me and….."

"And" Kate supplied.

"And" Rick swallowed "….and you are asking me why I hated you so much, because I allowed you to die. Dominic killed you and it was my fault because I had not warned you that he was coming after you and Alexis. You're incensed, really ripping me a new one. I don't try to stop you because I know it's my fault. And just when I think it can't get any worse, a shot rings out and Alexis slumps over dead, killed by Strom. I…. I don't think I could survive. I know that I wouldn't want to….. Anyway I am sure a shrink would have a field day with my abandonment issues. I am not afraid of my death; it's the death of the people I care about that kills me. Sorry for the pun."

"Most people are afraid of their own death, why not you?"

Rick smiled sadly."I stared down that specter, back when I was in college, but that is a tale for another time."

Kate lay on the couch with her partner and perhaps closest friend and pounder the enigma that was Richard Castle. Why was he more scared of others dying? What could possibly have happened in college? How could have been so easy for him to say 'I love you'? In other relationships she had been in, when Love had been used, if it was not immediately reciprocated then all hell would break loose. How could Richard Castle be so mature about the situation and still act like a child so much of the time? She did love him, she could admit that to herself, but she still couldn't bring herself to trust in the relationship? What was holding here back, and could she overcome the trust barrier and speak the words she longed to say. As she wrestled with her conundrum she realized that Castles breathing had become regular as he had drifted off to sleep. At first she was offended but soon realized that it was a complement. He felt so comfortable with her that he could relax. She snuggled deeper in to his embrace an tried to contemplate the future as she drifted off to sleep.

**A/N: **I should get to the Ball in a chapter or two. Not entirely happy with this chapter. Let me know what you think.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: **Enjoy!

**VII  
Castle's Apartment  
Later**

_Castle stood in a graveyard. The sun blocked by a funeral shroud of dark gray clouds. The trees about the tombs were bare of leaves and a steady rain beat down among the headstones. A ghostly fog was slithering along the ground, its slimy tendrils inching forward to claim more territory. A funeral was in progress nestled between two old crypts. What caught he eye was the fact that he knew some of the people seated there. As he moved closer he was able to pick out many faces. Captain Montgomery, the Mayor, Detectives Esposito and Ryan, Martha and Alexis were also there. Must be my funeral, he thought. He moved over toward Alexis to hear what the minister was saying._

"_Kate was an exemplary office. Gunned down in the prime of life…."_

_Kate noooo!__Castle could not believe was hearing. It could not be true. There was so much he had wanted to tell her. So much they still had to do._

"_You killed me Castle."_

_Richard whirled. Standing before him was a gruesome specter. Detective Kate Beckett stood before him. Her blouse was bloodied; her skin sallow and dark circles were around her sunken lifeless eyes._

"_Kate" Castle said heartbreak in that one word._

"_Why Rick? Why did you allow me to die? You could have warned me that the psycho was going to come gunning for me. Were just so selfish and immature that it did not matter to you if I died?"_

"_No Kate I tried to wake up and tell you. It was the drugs that they gave me. I just couldn't wake up."_

"_You were awake enough to give your 'grab ass' comment. Did you hate me so much that you wanted me to die? And what about Alexis did you want her dead too? You left us to die Rick." There was so much scorn in that one word, it broke Castle's heart._

_A shot rang out and Alexis sprawled on the ground. Castle scanned the area and saw the pseudo Derek atop one of the tombs sniper rifle in his hands. The gloating look on the shooters face made Rick's blood boil. He ran toward the snipers nest, intent on cleaving the life out of the shooter with his bare hands…._

Castle woke and drew in a breath to cry out. A warm and reassuring pressure cut the cry off. Kate lay beside him, her head nestled on the left side of his chest. His pulse raced and his breathing was erratic. Vainly he tried to calm down before he woke her up.

"Rick? The dream?"

"Yeah, same as always, but at least I didn't scream. Well, I would have if you hadn't been here." He lamented.

"Dominic is in jail awaiting trial. He is not going to escape and come after you again."

"He is not the only psycho out there. You have seen my fan mail; you have seen how disturbing my mail can be. How many unbalanced readers have I pissed off? How many number one fans are stalking me right now? How many think that by getting rid of you or Alexis will mean I will notice them? And you know that my Karma sucks, so when is the shoe going to drop?"

"Castle, you can't think like that. You are just going to drive yourself crazy with the 'What if's'. It took me years of therapy to learn that you can't worry about the 'What if's'. You have to live in the moment. You can only do so much to prepare for the future. At some point you just have to go on faith."

"In case you haven't noticed I am not a very religious man. I don't really have faith."

"Richard, I am not really talking about that kind of faith. I am talking about having faith in yourself. Knowing that you can handle whatever comes your way. I certainly have seen you in tough situations. You are the most coolheaded civilian. Hell, you are more level headed in tough situations than a lot of cops that I know." Kate reassured.

"Thanks for the vote of confidence but that doesn't really help matters. I haven't be able leave the building since I got home from the hospital. I don't know if I can. I sure as hell don't want to."

"Rick, you can't just hide in your apartment. The longer you stay in your apartment the harder it will be for you to leave. You have got to start getting out. Maybe go to the corner news stand for a paper, or over to Black Pawn. Just please start getting out." Kate urged.

"So since it is three in the morning, will you be staying the rest of the night?", Rick asked innocently, ignoring her pleas.

"Well, I really don't want to drive this late."

"My room, guest room or couch?" Castle said playfully

"Guest room, Richard." Kate replied.

"Speaking of…. I don't mind but why do you call me Richard? Only my mother calls me Richard."

"I guess it's because at work I call you Rick, Castle or Kitten. So when we are away from work I wanted to call you something else. Something that will let you know I am thinking about you differently."

"You could use a pet name. I'm partial to stud muffin or sex god." Rick quipped.

"You can't ever be serious can you? I happen to think that Richard is a very sexy name."

"Well then, please use it to your heart's content."

When she went to the guest room she saw that the sheets had been changed and the pajamas were neatly folded and lying on the comforter at the bottom of the bed. Again she wondered why he would have pajamas that were her size. Alexis was smaller than Kate and Martha was a different build. Was his ego so large that he was confident that she would have eventually stayed over or were these cast off's from an old girl friend. He had said that he did not bring dates to the house so why were the pajamas there? She made a note to ask Castle in the morning.

"Good morning Kate." Alexis said as she laid a breakfast tray on the table beside the bed.

"Morning, Alexis. Breakfast in bed?"

"Yes, welcome to my world. Apparently the Writing Muse has struck dad, because he is hold up in his study, door closed. And only grunts as a response. Fortunately this doesn't happen that often. The last time this happened he wrote the last five chapters of Storm Fall. So I guess he's due."

"Did he say anything about last night?" Kate probed.

"He said UUUUH! Or an approximation of that." Alexis chuckled.

"Things got pretty heavy last night…."

"You know, as his child I'm not sure I should be hearing this" Alexis blushed.

"Talk, Alexis, just Talk"

"Oh, sorry, I guess….. What I mean…… Well I know that Dad…, you know…., has dates….. and stuff…." Alexis stuttered, embarrassed.

"Alexis, stop, please, I don't think that is something I want or need to know." Kate blushed in turn.

"Oh, sorry, I mean there hasn't been any of that since my mother last spring. So I just assumed…., sorry"

"He hasn't…… Not since your mother? Last spring….. Oh!" Kate was stupefied.

**The Precinct  
Beckett **

Kate sat at her desk going over cold case files, and thinking about the past few weeks. She felt as if she had gotten onto one of the old Coney Island roller coasters that she used to ride as a child. She felt out of control and she disliked the feeling. It made her irritated that Castle could conjure these contradictory feelings. He was much more frustrating than any other relationship she had ever had. He was also closer to knowing her than any other man she had ever been with. Was the relationship worth the cost?

"Greetings all, I come bearing gifts." Castle baritone voice interrupted her musings.

Kate looked up quickly. Just last night he had said he had not gone out of his building. She had urged him to go out and now here he was. She scrutinized his appearance. To most people he looked like Richard Castle, bad boy, pain in the ass, but Kate could look deeper. His eyes were a little to bright and there was a thin sheen of sweat on his forehead. His smile was also a little forced as well.

He carried a large box of donuts in one hand and a small oblong box in the other. He tucked the smaller box under his arm and sat the donut down upon the center desk and opened the lid. Given Castles powers of observation he knew what each of the detectives liked and had multiples of each. Rick grabbed a napkin and snagged a Bear Claw and brought it over to Beckett. He placed the pastry and the oblong box in front of her.

"Good morning Detective." He said as he sat down beside her desk.

"Castle." She lowered her voice. "I thought that you were going to be holed up in your study writing. What gives?"

"Well my therapist said I should try to get out of the apartment" He looked at her pointedly.

"Sounds like good advice to me."

"So, I tore myself away from Nikki Heat long enough to make the delivery, When I get back home, I will sequester myself again, most likely for the rest of the day."

"So what's in the box?"

"That, my dear Detective you will have to find out.'

With a little trepidation she opened the box. Nestled on a black velvet stand lay a beautifully decorated white mask, it started just above the mouth and covered the brow. The mask was set with beautiful purple, red and green stones. The sides and the top of the mask were decorated with delicate peacock feathers. The stones brought out the color in the feathers. The mask had a beautiful ethereal quality.

"Rick, it's beautiful." Kate gasped.

"I thought you would like to see it before you went hunting for a dress." He explained

"Hey, Castle, where's our masks?" Ryan asked.

"Planning to wear a dress, Kevin?"Beckett asked.

"No.. I.. " Ryan stammered

"Yours will be waiting for you at the party. You guys still need to RSVP, by the way so I can make sure I have masks for your dates."

"Dates? Can't we come stag?" Ryan asked.

"It's a Masquerade Ball Ryan, you going to dance with yourself?" Beckett queried.

"There will be a lot of food there, so if you don't bring a date you can stuff yourself like all the other wall flowers." Castle added.

"No, that's ok, I'll bring somebody."

"Well, this is fun, but I have to get back to Nikki, She is a stern, demanding Mistress, but fair." Rick stood to go.

"Castle," Kate called "We'll talk later"

"After my date with Nikki, I'll be at you beck and call" Castle promised.

**A/N:** Next up Repercussions of Castles outing and the Ball see you Wednesday (I Hope) :


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Enjoy**

**IX  
****In Route  
****Beckett**

Kate drove towards Castle's apartment feeling apprehensive as it began to rain. She kept seeing Rick taunt face. She had seen that look on other faces, faces of people ready to break. It hurt to see it on Rick. Part of her wanted to reach out and comfort him. Take him in her arms and hold the stress and fear at bay. The other part of her knew that to do so would expose there burgeoning relationship to the entire precinct, something to be avoided at all costs. Her effectiveness as a cop would be drawn into question by the mere fact that she was with Richard Castle. She knew that one day their relationship would come out into the open, hopefully once they had worn the rough edges smooth. She had not even told Lanie about there Breakfast dates yet. Something she would need to do soon or risk the Medical Examiner's wrath.

The metronome effect of the wipers on the window seems to beat out his name CAS… TLE… CAS… TLE… Making her think of the possible futures that the two of them might have, could they sustain relationship? Would they crash and burn? She had come to treasure his playful friendship. He had taken the rough edge Kate kept pointed at people to keep them at arms length and wore it smooth with his disarming charm. His easy going acceptance of her ,as is, had broken through her cold shell and warmed her to the possibility of a lasting relationship. Where once she went to work to escape from the world she now went to work to be apart of the world, a world that included Rick Castle, it was strange how things could change.

Her cell phone rang; looking at the caller ID she saw it was from her father.

"Dad?"

"How is my favorite child doing?"

"Dad, I'm your only child."

"All the more reason for you to be my favorite. I am just calling to remind you that I am still alive, retired but alive, in upstate New York. I haven't heard from you in about a month, so I thought I would check to make sure that you knew I was still alive."

"I am sorry the month has been really hectic…"

"With that writer fella being shot? I understand. He was one of your favorite authors, wasn't he?"

"Yes dad, Richard Castle, he is one of my favorite writers."

"He is the one who has been following you around and writing a character based on you."

"Yes, Dad" she knew where this was going.

"I hope I raised you better than to let him take advantage of you. I hear there was a steamy sex scene in the book. It wasn't biographical was it?"

"No, Dad I haven't had sex with him. That was just his imagination."

"Probably, wishful thinking on his part."

"DAD!"

He father chuckled. "Kate, I have long since ceased to have any say on what you do with your life. But a father gets lonely when he hasn't heard from his only child in forever."

"Dad it has only been a month, I am sorry I haven't called, but I have been very busy."

They talked of general things until she reached Richard's door. It was an easy conversation, one where both parties were close and there was no need for extraneous topics. Kate was glad that she had been able to draw her dad out of his alcohol induced haze and back into her life.

"You're doing okay aren't you Kate?"

"I'm fine, dad. Look I have got to go, I am getting another call and have to go visit a friend." Her call waiting beeped

"Alright Kate, but don't let it be a month before I hear from you again."

"Okay Dad, Love you. Bye." She quickly switched calls and rang the doorbell.

"Kate, where are you?" Came Alexis' voice from in the phone and behind the door. She sounded on the verge of panic.

I'm at the door, Alexis. Open up"

The door opened on a tearful teenager. Alexis phone in hand and a traumatized look on her face. With a small pitiful cry the Alexis launched herself into Kate's arms and began to sob.

"Alexis, sweetie, what's wrong?"

"Dad….. Won't…… "

Kate allowed Alexis a moment to cry before trying again.

"Alexis, I can't help unless I know the problem. What is wrong with your dad?"

Fear raced through Kate. All manner of gruesome scenarios flashed in her mind. Richard lying dead from a self-inflected gunshot wound burned into her psyche. Anger, fear, guilt all vied for dominence. Could she live with herself if Rick were dead? Would she want to?

"He won't come out… He's locked in. Won't talk to me…."Alexis sobbed.

"How long?" Beckett probed.

"About an hour…. He was working on Nikki then there was a loud noise and then he was locked in his room." Alexis was slowly gaining composure. "His laptop is in pieces"

"I am guessing that this has never happened before?"

"No" Alexis said in a small voice.

Kate moved purposefully toward Rick's study and his room beyond. His study was more cluttered than she had normally seen it. The pile of laptop pieces against the far wall did not help matters. The disarray of his study helped to raise her level of distress. While Castle was never fussy about cleaning, he did maintain a clean work environment. Seeing his desk a mess seemed to confirm her worst fears. Automatically she tried the door knob and found it locked. She inspected the knob and found a simple lock on the door. She strode over to the desk and searched the top drawer for a paperclip. While she would have no problem kicking the door open if necessary she figured that Rick may complain if he had to have the door jam repaired. She inserted the paperclip in the lock and with a swift flick of her wrist she popped the lock and turned the knob, Alexis right behind her. With visions of a Dead Author swimming in her mind she motioned for Alexis to stay at the door.

"Rick" she called as she moved slowly into his room.

It was her first time entering his sanctum and even with the tense circumstances she had to suppress a shiver. She had never really thought about what his room would look like but she was unprepared with the comfortable décor. It was neither sterile nor disorganized, but had a comfortable lived in feel to it.

"Richard" she called again.

The only sound she could hear was the sound of the shower running. The humidity in the room gave credence to the one hour time Alexis had given her. Her mind flashed back the first suicide she had seen as a cop. It had been a fairly famous basketball player who had just gotten divorced and then got cut from the team, he had played on. He had slit his wrists and sat down in his shower and bled out. It was a grizzly sight to behold. Her fear addled mind furnished an image of a bloodless corpse of Castle. She blinked back tears. She fervently hoped that she would not find her Richard in such a state.

"Damn it Rick, talk to me."

A wet groan sounded from the bathroom. At least he was still alive. She rushed through the bathroom door and her heart stopped. Castle was sitting in his shower with the exact same posture as the dead basketball player.

No blood….

Her mind screamed. She felt her consciousness tear as she was concurrently in the here and now and back in time walking in on the suicide. Her mind seemed to play both present and past at the same time. She forced herself to move toward the shower door.

NO blood…..

She grasped the stall door handle and steeled herself for the worst. She was unaware that tears had begun to fall from her eyes. She looked down to the shower mat and saw the bloody knife. Was that past or present? Did it matter? She bunched her shoulder to pull the door open. Seeing both bodies slumping out the door.

NO BLOOD…..

She stopped. The mantra her mind was screaming to her had at last made it into the forefront of her consciousness. The scene from the past slowly dissolved from her mind. The blood smears she had been picturing faded into the past and she was only in the present. She pulled the door open and looked down at Rick Castle. He was bare-chested, pale and the only color was the angry red scar where the bullet had past into his body. She felt detached from the current scene as the adrenaline faded from her blood stream. Her legs buckled, and she fell on the mat. Her dethatched mind noted that while Castle was not "cut" in the musculature sense he was in shape. She looked over him again to make sure that her brain had indeed been feeding her the correct information on the lack of blood smears around the stall. Besides his state of semi-undress he appeared physically whole. She looked into his face and saw the naked anguish and pain she had seem earlier in the week. His eyes were red and puffy, he had been crying. He seemed to take no notice of her as she stood up shakily and turned off the water. At last he seemed to come back to himself.

"Beckett….. Kate….. What?"

The quip she had on the tip of her tongue was stilled. She sank back down to her knees and reached into the shower and hugged the man she dreamed of. Equal parts relief and anger vied for her thoughts.

"Richard, you are scaring us."

"Kate….?" He said groggily. "When did you get here?"

"I have been in the apartment for about five minutes."

"You're here early."

"Rick it is after six PM. You have been in here for over an hour."

"No, No I just got back here from the precinct."

"No, Richard you have been writing Nikki all afternoon and then an hour ago you rushed in here and locked the door. Poor Alexis is about to have a breakdown, you have got to get a grip." She hoped that appealing to his paternal side would help him snap back to himself.

"Alexis… Is she okay?"

"I'm okay Dad; I'm just worried about you." Alexis sniffed trying to hide the fact she had been crying.

He slowly stood up and engulfed the two women in a bear hug. "I'm sorry you two. I don't know what happened. I don't remember much after going out this morning."

Kate felt a great comfort wash over her as Rick held her and Alexis close. Her mind seemed to flash the word FAMILY as she and Alexis were pressed together up against Richard's chest. The effect was ruined a moment later as Castle's wetness seeped through their clothes. Cries of dismay and a chuckle from Richard filled the room.

"Alexis may I speak to your father privately?" Kate asked.

"Of course."

"Alright Rick, just what happened, today"

"I'm not sure." He said as he moved into his walk-in closet to change out of his wet clothes. "I remember going to pick up your mask and then going to the precinct. I remember feeling kind of stretched and weird. I can remember getting into the cab and then nothing until you came in to share my shower."

"You may have been having a panic attack."

"Panic attack? No way!" He said as he re-entered the room dressed in khakis and a V neck sweater.

"Richard this is serious. Who knows what might have happened. You have got to go see someone about this."

"No shrink…."

"Look there is someone I can vouch for. Somebody I know can help you, and keep everything confidential. Doctor Simmons is a good guy. He does a lot of work with the NYPD. He can help."

She pulled him into an embrace needing to verify that her senses were telling her the truth. That she was not having a psychotic break while holding Castle's lifeless corpse in the shower stall. His warm body and strong hug convinced her that she was indeed in the present. She tensed as she played the only card she could think of, to convince Richard that she was serious.

"Richard, if you care about me, if you care about us, you will go see Doctor Simmons.", she took a deep breath. "You either go see Doctor Simmons or we're through."

She honestly did know if she could follow through on that threat and she prayed that she wouldn't have to.

"Rick, he was my therapist, I trust him. He saved my life."

His shoulder slumped in defeat. "You know I would do anything for you or Alexis, right.'

"I know." She leaned into him and drew him into a deep kiss, hoping he would feel the love that she could not give voice to, but felt none the less.

**A/N:** I have decided i have to stop listening to my son's EMO music while I am writing :?  
Again I will apologize for the typo's spelling and grammer, Every other day posting is tough :


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Enjoy!**

**X  
Doctor Simmons Office**

"Well, it has been awhile….. Detective Beckett. Do what do I owe the honor?"

Doctor Simmons was a thin man seemingly made up of sharp angles. His salt and pepper hair was cut straight across his brow. His sideburns neatly trimmed just below the top of the ear. His navy blue suit was freshly pressed and sharply creased. He looked at Kate in a pleasant but quizzical manner.

"I guess I wanted to touch base with you. It has been awhile since we last talked."

"If I recall correctly, it was just after you father decided to move out of the city and upstate."

Kate shifted uncomfortably. "Yes, I guess that was the last time."

"So haw have things been going? Anything new you are dealing with?" Kate could almost feel the smug knowledge simmering in the doctors head,

"Yes, I have been dealing with Richard Castle."

"Dealing with? Is he a problem? I was led to believe that he was using you as inspiration for a new character for his bestselling novels. That he was assisting you in your case work."

"Did he tell you that?" Kate accused

"No, actually, it was Captain Montgomery. Do you have a problem with Rick using me as a therapist? I was under the impression that you basically demanded that he come and talk to me."

"Yes, I recommended that he talk you. He is in pain and needs help."

"He was under the impression that it was an ultimatum, but no matter. Why did you come by? To check up on him?" the Doctor asked sardonically.

"Yes, no, I don't know." Kate confessed.

"You realize there is a lot I can't tell you about, doctor/patient confidentiality, you know."

"I understand, I just want to know if he is doing better and…"

"And?" the doctor supplied

"I am having problems dealing with him, with our relationship."

"I can understand, you are a person who likes order and definition. He on the other hand is mercurial and Chaos personified, yet you are drawn to each other. Seeming the proverbial 'opposites attract'."

"Exactly, there is no way we will ever survive; we'll end up killing each other."

"I did not say that? That is your assumption, not mine; actually I think you are very compatible."

"What… Excuse me?"

"Think of the two of you as to objects in space. Each one exerting gravitational forces on the other, you are both keeping the other in orbit."

"I was doing just fine before him."

"Really, you were a workaholic, you hardly ever dated. When you did date it was usually another law enforcement officer. Besides your father you did not have any strong emotional attachments. Now you have someone who you see everyday who cares about you. He has a daughter that you have befriended and you don't spend every waking hour at the precinct. I don't know about you but the latter sounds a lot more healthy that the former."

"I don't need a man to define me. I am quite capable of living on my own."

"I never said that you couldn't. I am just saying that everybody needs human contact. Most people want to be loved by someone else. Tell me when you and Rick are togehter outside of work, how do you feel?" the doctor probed.

"Relaxed, for the most part, happy. But sometimes he just drives me crazy."

Doctor Simmons chuckled "I would be surprised if he didn't, I'm not saying that you need a man and I'm not saying this is going to end happily ever after. I'm just saying that you need to take some chances in your life."

"Alright" Beckett surrendered. "I know you can't go into specifics, but how is he doing?"

"Ah, yes the real reason that you are here." Doctor Simmons intoned. "Besides a pretty bad case of agoraphobia he is doing pretty well. I mean he has issues, but who doesn't. I find his recurring nightmare particularly enlightening."

"Where Alexis and I die. Yeah that was surprising." Kate agreed

"He told you about that?" the doctor sounded surprised

"I told him about my dreams after my mother died. So it was sort of tit for tat." Kate explained.

"Isn't it amazing that such a boisterous mask hides someone with such a low self esteem."

"Excuse me?"

"He uses his Bad Boy persona to hide his insecurities." The doctor continued. "He shows the world this Bad Boy/Playboy visage, this devil may care attitude. We see someone who is larger than life, but inside he is dealing with major issues of self worth. He truly believes that you and Alexis are more worthy of living than he is."

"Doctor, I'm not arguing with you, but Castle has an ego that has trouble fitting into his apartment. I find it hard to believe that he has self worth issues."

"Because that is what he wants you to see. Strip away that mask and there is a man who has a hard time justifying his right to life."

"But he is a bestselling Author. Millions of people buy his books, to read what he has to say. He creates characters that are more real to his fans than the people they meet on the street."

"Ah, but to him they are just words on a page. Well that's not precisely true. The characters he writes mean a great deal to him but he doesn't really see their worth to others. It is hard for him to justify all the money he makes by just writing down his 'let's pretend'."

"Well you're the Doctor, I'll take your word for it. Is he going to be alright?"

"Yes, eventually, he should make a full recovery. I have had appointments with him every day this week. It's not going to be a miracle cure but he is making progress. At some point I think it might be very productive to have the both of you in some sessions. Maybe help you both work through some of your issues that you both have with the relationship."

"I don't kn….."

"I am not talking about couple's therapy. Just help the two of you work past the more difficult situations that are bound to come up. It might help keep the waters tranquil." Doctor Simmons interjected. "Now, I probably have said too much to you already. He had me sign a draconian non-disclosure clause. He seems quite protective of his privacy."

"Thank you for your help Doctor." Kate smiled somewhat sadly, "Since he was shot he hasn't been at the precinct to do 'research' and I miss that. He has always been someone who I could talk the cases through. He has become my sounding board and I want that back."

"Have you talked about cases with him at his home?"

"Not much, we have been sort of feeling our relationship out, seeing how we fit together." Kate confessed.

"Well I suggest that you try talking about cases, some at least. The more interested he is in the outside world the more he is going to want to leave his apartment. Oh, and about the Party, I would appreciate it if you would stick close to him. I have proscribed some anti-anxiety medication for him to take if the party gets too overwhelming. If you are around him you can remind him to take it."

"Sure."

The Doctor smiled and opened his appointment book"….So same time next week?"

**The 12th Precinct**

**Lanie and Kate**

Kate walked into autopsy as Lanie was putting away a body. The Medical Examiner had already taken off her scrubs and was dressed for a night out.

"Hey girlfriend, wanna' go out for some fun?" Lanie asked.

"Not tonight I have some dinner plans and some shopping to do?"

"Who is the lucky guy? Anyone I know? Maybe tall, and writes bestsellers for a living?"

"No, Alexis is going to help me shop for a dress for Castle's Ball, we're getting a bite to eat before spending my month's salary."

"Well you do want to look good. Think of all the handsome princes who will be there, ready to sweep you off your feet, besides a knock out dress might turn Writer Boy's head around."

"Yeah, about that…. I have some… you know, news."

"Well lay it on me girl, but don't take too long, I still need time to get my groove on, so to speak."

"Lanie, you are not making this any easier." Beckett lamented.

"Well, stop beating around the bush."

"You know that Castle and I had a little heart to heart while he was in the hospital, right?"

"Yeah, yeah, you cornered him while he was down." Lanie joked.

"Thanks a lot. Well anyway we sort of can to an understanding…."

"And? "The ME supplied.

"And, we have been having breakfast together, for a while now." Kate explained

"In bed?.... You mean breakfast in bed?"

"No, just at his apartment." Kate amended.

"And want do Martha and Alexis think about all this."Lanie queried.

"Well, they haven't kicked me out, I think Alexis is really happy. I couldn't tell you what Martha really thinks. I mean, we like each other but…"

"She doesn't know if you are good enough for her son." Lanie supplied.

"I guess that is as good an explanation as any. I think she is worried that I might break his heart, or something."

"And Castle? What does he think about all this?"

"You know Castle, sometimes the twelve year old, sometimes the adult. It's a crap shoot. Although he has been dealing with a lot of stress caused by the shooting, so he has been more subdued than usual." Kate explained.

"And the sixty-four thousand dollar question, what does the formidable Kate Beckett think?" Lanie asked.

"Tough call, I mean it has been great getting to know Alexis and Martha more. Surprisingly Rick is a very good cook, so the food has been good. I am just scared; I don't want to get hurt again, not like I got hurt with Will. I couldn't take that again."

"Beckett, Castle is not Will; he isn't going to leave you to go to a better job."

"Hey, Nikki could start to bore him. He could stumble across some hot District Attorney who will to 'put out' to get her own series of books."

"I think you are selling yourself short. He wrote twenty Derek Storm novels before he stumbled onto Nikki. Hell, after twenty Nikki Heat books I'll bet you will be 'putting out' too."The ME quipped.

"Lanie!"

A/N: As always I am humbled but the gracious readers response to my meager words/ Thank you all!!!


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N:** Enjoy

**XI  
****Shopping  
****Kate & Alexis**

"Now, Harris says he likes Tanya, but he's still dating Olivia, Sasha and Ramona both want to date Conrad but he wants to date Nadia, it is worse that the Mexican Telenovella's that we have to watch in Spanish class." Alexis explained.

"I still can remember my High school's dating drama. I'm not _that _old. But tell me, don't you have any friends with real names. Don't you know any Roberts or Mikes?"

Alexis laughed. She and Kate were just finishing dinner at the Pierre's the fancy French restaurant they had picked for dinner. The food had been outstanding, but the company had been better. The two women were relaxed and the conversation had been easy. By unspoken consent they both shied away from all things Castle and had instead talked of trivial matters. They sat lingering over coffee any enjoying each others company.

"I don't know, maybe my dad's generation got tired of the Ricks and Bobs and decided to go out on a limb and pick different names, you know, to make the world less ordinary. You have to admit that Alexis is not Sue or Mary."

"No, but it fits you." Kate commented

"Thank you. I guess it time to talk about what we have been avoiding."

"Oh…. No… And this dinner had been so pleasant. Why ruin it now?" Kate joked.

"I know, I know, but what restaurant meal would be complete without an argument about the bill?" Alexis rejoined

"And here I was thinking that you were going to bring up your dad."

"Well, in a way I am. I have been instructed, in no uncertain terms to pick up the tab for the evening, which includes the shopping." Alexis said.

"No, Alexis I can't let you do that." Kate objected.

"Look, this will make my dad happy. If he were feeling better, he would be here himself and you would have no choice in the matter."

"Oh, I wouldn't would I?" Kate's eyes narrowed as she pictured the argument she would be having with Castle right now, if he were here.

Alexis sighed. "Kate, my dad is many things, but he is always a gentleman, well almost always a gentleman. Besides do you realize how happy he will be, when he knows that you chose the dress you wanted, not because of price but because you found a dress you really liked?"

"That's not the point, Alexis. He can't just buy my….. He just shouldn't throw his money away."

"Okay, Kate, here is what is going to happen." Alexis said authoritatively "We are going dress shopping. If you don't let my dad buy you the dress, he is going to grill me until I tell him what dress you really wanted but did not want to spend that much money on. Then he will instruct me to go buy it, and then you will have two dresses. Do you really want to 'waste' your money and Dad's?"

Kate thought of all the arguments that she had against Castle's offer to buy the dress. While she was never really extravagant in her spending and did have some money saved, buying a dress for the Ball would cause a certain amount of anxiety. She had grown up in an upper middleclass home, but her father had taught her the importance of saving and living within her means. At the beginning of her time as a cop she had some serious difficulty juggling all her bills but had always gotten by, but it had definitely ingrained her fathers teaching. So now even though she was living comfortably she still tried to be frugal. Would it be so bad to accept the dress as a gift?

"Alright Alexis, I'll concede the dress but I'm paying for dinner." Kate conceded.

"Goody, I just love to win arguments." Alexis smiled "Beside where we are going to get dresses, you would not want to know how much the gowns cost. It is a private salon that is by appointment only. I got my prom dress there."

After paying for dinner, Kate was directed by Alexis to a small residential area full of Brownstones. In the middle of the row a red door and small plaque marked their destination. Inside an impeccably dressed matron and her two daughters greeted them. They were ushered into a comfortable sitting room and given coffee, tea and light pastries. Both were presented with large photo albums filled with various dress designs. Once they were attended too the owner and her daughters retired to allow Kate and Alexis some privacy to peruse the dresses.

"Wow," Kate exclaimed. "Doesn't this just scream pricy?"

"Oh it does, but they are the best in the city, excluding the actual Designers."

"Alexis, they don't even put the prices in the Albums!"

"I'm telling you that you don't want to know." Alexis reminded her.

The two women searched the photo albums, each exclaiming over dresses the other would look good in. After an hour each had a handful of dress choices. The proprietor's daughters came in with the selected gowns. Over the next hour and a half Kate and Alexis winnowed through their selections until both had made their choices and the attendants had marked the dresses for fitment.

"You dresses will be ready for final fitting on Wednesday afternoon. That should give us plenty of time to make any final adjustments." The owner exclaimed.

Kate and Alexis left with one final destination before heading back to Castle's apartment.

"You know if I eat much more I will not be able to fit into that dress." Kate lamented.

"A girl's prerogative is always to end the night with Ice Cream." Alexis stated

"Alexis, I want to talk to you about something." Kate said.

"That sounds very ominous."

"Well, sine your father and I are starting a relationship; I just want to clear the air."

"Ok" Alexis somewhat confused.

"I just want you to know that I not trying to do anything to your relationship with you dad."

"Oh" Alexis laughed. "I thought you were going say something like you were going to stop seeing my dad. That's a relief. Kate I love my dad very much. There is nothing more in the world I want than to see him happy. I can't tell you how happy I am that he met you. He literally has been a different person since he has been following you around. I haven't seen him so happy while he is writing."

"Alexis, I am the outsider here. I know it may sound strange to you but I don't want you to feel like I am butting in to your home."

"Oh my God, Kate, my dad loves you. I love you. My Gram loves…. Ok Grams approves of you, you're not butting in. You are welcome in our home. Gina was the intruder, not you. If you start, you know, shacking up with Dad, I may have a problem, but that is more about my dad taking advantage of you, not you being there." Alexis attempted to explain. "When Dad married Gina it was like she was the wicked stepmother from hell. She wanted to change everything. Nothing about the apartment, my dad's life, me anything, was right. That was before Grams started living with us. I sure Gina would have never married dad with Grams around. What I am trying to say is we want you at home. Don't ever think differently, okay?"

"Okay." Kate said fighting back tears. "I've…. I've never been a relationship where there were children involved. I have seen a lot of domestic disputes and seen the type of problems that can develop when a father starts dating a woman that the kids don't get along with. I guess, I always didn't want to be 'that women. You know?"

"Kate it's not like we don't like each other, right? We get along. If I had a choice of stepmothers, I would choose you." Alexis confessed.

"If I had to have a stepdaughter you would be on the top of my list."

Alexis and Kate hugged mindful of their ice cream. The two finished their desert and went back to the Apartment. As they stopped at the door Alexis turned and looked at Kate.

"It's fairly late; will you use the guest room tonight?"

"I probably should go. I didn't bring any extra clothes." Kate explained

"You know, for someone how likes order, you would think you would have brought over some clothes to keep here."

"That's a big step, Alexis."

"I know, but it is one that I wish you would take. I'm not suggesting that you move in…. not yet at least. But having the option of not having to plan on getting up extra early so you can rush back to your apartment for fresh clothes would be nice, I would think." Alexis said coyly.

"Good evening ladies." Came Castle's baritone voice from behind them. He was standing holding a garment bag and some dry cleaning. His eyes had a merry twinkle that Kate had not seen since the shooting. Alexis unlocked the door, and Castle's presence behind her made Kate walk into the apartment.

"So, Rick picking up your tux?" Kate asked.

"Yes as a matter of fact I did. It was in the cleaners, and look what else I found. Why Kate, I didn't know that we used the same dry cleaner." He said handing her several pairs of slacks and tops.

"Thank you Richard. How much do I owe you?"

"Consider this like a tax amnesty day, for today only, everything is free. I am sure compared to the Ball gowns, I am getting off easy."

"Well Kate," Alexis intoned. "Looks like you now have clothes to wear tomorrow; will you need me to turn down the bed in the guest room?"

Kate didn't know why, but she felt like the two had somehow planned the whole scenario. She looked between father and daughter and realized that she did not stand a chance. She realized that she was being double teamed and it would all go better if she admitted defeat.

"Well it is late….." and she left it at that.

**Dr Simmons Office**

**Castle**

"So Rick, how are you feeling today?" Doctor Simmons asked.

"Same as always, scared as hell."

"Why is that? What I am trying to say is you have demonstrated bravery before, what is so different now?"

"Well I did get shot." Castle replied.

"In the course of your dealings with Detective Beckett you have been in mortal peril before, the Nigerian drug lord and the home invader both wanted to kill you. What makes Dominick different?"

"Well, for starters, he actually shot me! "

"Granted, but you nightmares aren't about your death but about the death of Alexis and Kate, which would suggest that you are more worried about others than yourself. Some of your fears are about facing your mortality, I'll grant you, but you also are scared for Alexis and Kate."

"They are two of three women I love the most. I guess that me not dreaming about my mother being shot raises all sort of alarms."

"Actually no, regardless of you less than normal childhood you still have feelings of being protected by your mother, she was you protector when you were a child you still see here in that roll, which is normal. Kate and Alexis are younger than you. You see yourself in the protector's role."

"Your not suggesting that, I see Kate like a daughter are you?"

"You are deliberately misunderstanding me. I am simply stating that you feel the need to protect Kate and Alexis from danger. You feelings for Kate are definitely not paternal; I know that, believe me."

"Is it so wrong to want to protect the ones you love?" Castle asked

"No Rick, it is very natural, but let look at things from another perspective. Do you find Kate competent?"

"Not that I know a whole lot of Cops, but yeah, she is the best cop I know."

"Do you feel she can protect herself during the course of her duties?"

"She can kick my ass six ways to Sunday." Castle answered

"Yet you still feel the need to protect her?"

"My life would be a darker place without her."

"Exactly! Now changing tracks, how are you feeling about the Ball coming up tomorrow night?"

"Worried…. Worried that I might have a panic attack. That I might freak out."

"Ok, have you done as I asked you to?"

"Yes, I went to the Waldorf to the Ballroom, with Kate and Alexis last night."

"And how did that go?" The doctor queried.

"Fine, I was a little nervous at first but after a while the feeling got better."

"Good, good. Now you have the anti-anxiety meds I proscribed?"

"Yes."

"Excellent, now give them to Kate or Alexis so they have them tomorrow night."

"Shouldn't I keep them with me; I mean I will be the one with pockets."

"I'm sure that Kate or Alexis will have a purse or clutch between them. I just want an independent observer to have the meds. Alright? You have my phone number, if you need to talk to me, even at the party, call me if you need me. Since time is up, I'll hope to see you on Monday,"

**A/N: SSS **(Sorry So Sappy) I just reread the Alexis/Beckett conversation. just a little too sticky sweet sorry :( Next up: the lead up and start to the Ball.


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: **Enjoy!!!

**XII  
****The Waldorf Hotel  
****Castle et al **

It was late Thursday night when Castle and company arrived at the venerable Hotel. Rick along with Alexis and Martha discretely checked in and moved up to their suites. Alexis went right to bed because it was a school night and she had to get up earlier than normal, in order to make it to school on time. Martha after settling in went out to meet with a producer about a part, Leaving Castle alone. Left to his own devices. he first paced the room, eyeing the mini bar. His level of anxiety at not being safe in his home, would not allow him to sit still. After alternately pacing the room and trying to watch TV for an hour he gave up. He strode to the mini bar for a drink. As he was pulling a bottle of scotch from the bar he stopped. He remembered one of his mother old flames who had once told him in all candor '_Ricky boy, if you are going to drink don't drink alone. 'Cause you ain't got a drinking problem unless you drink alone'. _As he recalled to old coot had died of cirrhosis of the liver, but he did have a point. Drinking alone was bad. Grabbing his jacket he went down to the bar.

The lounge was sparsely populated at this time of night during the week; for the most part only the serious drinkers were left. As he was ordering a drink he spied the baby grand piano empty in the corner. Taking his scotch he headed over to the piano. His mother in her infinite wisdom had decided that Richard Castle, young miscreant that he was, needed some culture so at the tender young age of seven she subjected him to piano lessons. So for the next eight years Mrs. Finklestein had been the warden in the prison that were his lessons. As much as he tried to run her off, he was no match for Mrs. Finklestein. He had tried everything he knew to chase the monster off, to no avail. In truth he did not mind learning to play, it was just the music he had to learn. Mrs. Finklestein with her wooden ruler ready to strike at his knuckles if he misplayed a note was a lover of the classics Mozart, Bach, Beethoven. Rick was into more modern music, honky tonk to be exact, so when he was supposed to be practicing the "Masters" he was playing,"I'm Walking the Floor over You" or "Honky Tonk Train Blues.". Unconsciously he began to play as his mind drifted back to his childhood and the 'lessons' Mrs. Finkelstein had taught him.

"Well this is something you don't see everyday." Kate's voice interrupted his musings.

"What's the matter Kate? Don't like your famous authors having more than one skill?"

"No, I just assumed the piano in your apartment was for your mother or Alexis, not for you. I didn't realize you were multi-talented."

"Oh yeah, I am just a barrel of fun at parties. I do stand up too; I'll be here all week. By the way, how did you find me? You guys but a BOLO out on me or something?"

"No, I came to avail myself of the free room you offered."

"Avail yourself? Who uses word like 'avail myself' any more? What, are you trying to do? impress some writer or something? Still doesn't explain how you found me. When I reserved the rooms, I'm sure they didn't ask if I wanted to put you in the bar."

"Can't a girl come into a bar for a drink?" Kate said innocently.

"I guess you can, I don't know, I guess I just can't picture you as a bar fly. I see you in swanky restaurants drinking you fine wine and eating your Brea and Crackers." Rick countered.

"I'm not a wine snob. I'll have you know that I'm drinking brandy, tonight, not wine."

"Fine, fine, I give. No mas ."

Kate sat down beside Castle to admire his talent at the piano. His hands moved surely across the keys, coaxing music out of the instrument. It seemed to Kate that Rick was unaware of his hands for his concentration seemed to be complete on her. It gave her goose bumps the way he was looking into her eyes. It was as if she were the only other person in the room. A lot of the usual wariness had left his face while he was playing. Kate hoped that this was a good sign. A sign the he was beginning to come back from the dark places that he had haunted since he had been shot. She mentally made a list of all of Castles talents, he was a great writer, a fantastic chef, he apparently was an accomplished piano player, and a mind blowingly good kisser. She wondered want else she could add to the list.

"The proverbial penny for your thoughts, Kate." Rick said.

"Nothing earth shattering, just cataloging your many talents."

"It is a short list I'll grant you, but I have yet to reveal my most important talent."

Kate knew she was going to regret asking. "Alright Rick, what is your most important talent?"

"I am a mean fisherman." Castle replied.

She had been so sure that his adolescent side would be making a lewd comment about the bedroom that his reply caught her by surprise, causing her to laugh loudly. The bar patrons looked up from their drinks, curious and jealous of the piano player and the beautiful women sitting beside him. One intoxicated gentleman managed to get up and stagger over to the piano. He grubbed around in his pocket until he pulled out a five dollar bill. He staggered over to the piano and dropped the bill into Beckett's unattended brandy snifter.

"Do you do request?" the drunk slurred.

"I only have two caveats, my man, I don't sing and I don't play "Piano Man"." Rick replied.

"Oh, uh… okay… how about "Benny and the Jets"?"

"That one I can do, my man, but still no singing."

"Right.", with that he wandered back to his seat.

"My Man?" Kate asked.

"Oh, that, something I picked up when I was a lounge piano player back in my college days, you know, before my first bestseller. I use to play at this little bar near the college so I could afford to take girls out, on the weekends. If I die of lung cancer, Alexis will have to sue the bar, because back then there were no smoke free bars. I got the idea for Derek's first case from the patrons of that particular watering hole. There was also this sweet little old lady who would come to the bar every Thursday night. She would order a Brandy Alexander and place a ten dollar bill in my glass and a piece of paper with ten songs mostly from the forties and fifties, String of Pearls, Sentimental Journey, things like that. She would sit as close to the piano as she could and sip her drink while I played those songs. Then she would get up come over to the bench kiss my cheek and press a five dollar bill in my hand, you know the way you old aunts would when you were a kid, then she would go home. She did that for three years, then one day she didn't show. I tracked her down; you know how curious I can be. Her great grand daughter had gotten tired of taking care of her and put her in a nursing home."

"And from then on he went every Thursday to that nursing home and played for her right up until the day she died." Martha added from behind them.

"Mother, I work so hard on my image as a selfish bastard and you have to come in and ruin it." Rick complained

"Don't stay up too late you two, wouldn't want you to be too tired for the Gala tomorrow. Rene will never forgive you if you are too pooped to party." Martha added as she moved off towards the door.

Kate felt like a school girl that had gotten caught being out after curfew. She blushed at Martha's insistence that they retire to their rooms. Or did she imply room? Kate wasn't sure. She had been caught in Rick's story and had not even seen Martha enter. The tale that Rick so skillfully wove had caught her heart. She had no doubt it was true. She could even picture a young Castle sitting in a room that the retirement home would call a Solarium playing piano for some old women. She was coming to see that this was the type of thing that he would do. While he may spin wild yarns about his childhood traumas. He would be truthful about the somewhat recent past. The Richard Castle who played the piano for old ladies was the Richard Castle she could love.

"Walk a girl to her room?" Kate stood with her had out stretched.

"I wouldn't be a true gentleman if I didn't." He stood and gently wrapped his hand in hers.

They walked hand in hand into the elevator. As the door closed she leaned into him and drew him into a passionate kiss. She felt heady and reckless. Their kiss lasted the entire elevator ride. They melted into their kiss for what seemed like an eternity. They walked out onto their floor in a daze. They moved leisurely toward their rooms, neither of them wanting the night to end yet.

"So do you want to come into my suite for a drink or some mindless TV, or to see my etchings?" Castle proffered.

"Drink would be nice, since the drunk man put a five in mine, maybe some music, but no etchings." Kate put her foot down.

"Aww, I never am going to get you in to see my etchings, am I?" Rich playfully pouted.

"One day, maybe, just not tonight." Kate amended.

Rick used the key card to enter the suite; the richly appointed common room was empty of people. Rick move over to the mini bar and quickly poured two drinks. Kate looked around trying to decide which room Alexis was in. Rick walked over and handed her the glass.

"Which room is Alexis staying in?" Kate whispered.

"She and Martha are sharing a suite. There is no one here but me."

Kate was ready to tell him how incredibly wasteful the room situation was, until she remembered his nightmares and realized he had given them other rooms so they did not have to hear him awaken from his dreams. Kate looked at Richards face and saw the pain his nightmares brought.

"Won't the doctors proscribe anything to take your dreams away?"

"Sure they can drug me senseless, but it isn't going to stop the dreams. Doctor Simmons says that the best I could hope for is to delay the dreams. Once I stop taking the sleeping pills then they will be back and probably worse than now. He gave me something and told me that if I really needed an uninterrupted night of sleep to take the meds. Otherwise ride them out; the dreams are getting less intense."

Kate could tell that Rick was being a little less than truthful about the dream intensity, but decided not to call him on it. After all he was saying these things for her benefit, so she wouldn't worry. Her heart went out to him.

"You are probably one of the bravest men I have ever met."

"Oh, now I see, you are just playing with me. Tell me I'm brave and then convince to go do something foolhardy." Rick joked.

"Richard, I'm serious. I've seen cops go into mental hospitals to get rid of their night terrors. You are choosing to handle it on you own, with no help.'

"I'm not brave. if I were I would have licked this by now. Beside you guys at the precinct and the firemen who rush into burning buildings, you are the real heroes. I just write one."

Kate grabbed his ear and twisted. "Are you going to agree with me or am I going to have to be more forceful?"

"Apples, apples…. Okay, okay, I'm a frikken hero. Ow, ow, ow."

"Richard, when are you going to learn that I'm not trying to blow smoke up you ass? I'm not some bimbette trying to woo you into bed."

"My God woman, did they replace your fingers with pliers? Are you related to Mrs. Finklestein? "

"Mrs. Finklestein?"

"My piano teacher, that woman knew more ways to cause me pain…."

"Sounds like a good woman. I think I would like to meet her."

"Well if we ever take a road trip to Orlando, I'll introduce the two of you.."

"You keep track of your piano teacher?"

"Well, yeah, Aside form my mother, she is the only female authority figure that I had longer than a year. I send her flowers on her birthday…... I even have a couple of scars on the back of my hands where she smacked me with a ruler that had a metal edge on it….."

Castle was interrupted by Kate pulling him down on the couch and into a passionate kiss. They lingered there, tasting each other and the world narrowed down the just the two of them. They parted at last, rejoining the world and lay on the couch.

"I must be doing something right." Castle observed.

"What do you mean?"

"Well that is twice tonight that you have kissed me"

"Maybe you are just wearing my resistance down."

"Yeah, right, I have about as much chance of wearing you down, as another Bush will be elected President, any time soon.."

"Actually, you have shown me a mature and softer side tonight. I want to encourage that with some positive reinforcement." Kate explained.

"Well, please continue……"

Rick was interrupted by his cell phone going off..

"It is a text from Mother telling us to go to bed. Do you think she means together?"

**A/N:**

OK, here is what happened. I sat down to write and drew a complete blank. Panic set it, would I miss my self imposed deadline? I decided that I would do about half a chapter in the bar and then I would start on the Ball. But they wouldn't shut up! Oh well best laid plans and all that. Next chapter the Ball starts….. promise…. No really I promise. :


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: **Happy Thanksgiving Enjoy

**XIII  
****The Ball  
****Castle et al**

Castle awoke late that morning, having talked into the early morning with Kate. They had not discussed any topics that was earth shattering, instead they and talked of their pasts. Kate recounted some of her memories growing up is a middle class home, while Castle regaled her with tails of life as the child of a traveling actress. It was the type of conversation that lovers might have on a rainy Sunday morning. While they had not yet consummated their relationship, they still had the comfort between them to allow such conversations.

Kate had left for her room around 4AM. She went to her room and collapsed. Her time with Castle had cemented her feelings for him. She rarely talked of her childhood, mainly because of the death of her mother. While she was a young woman when her mother had died, talking about her past make her think of what she was missing, mainly her mother. It had been very cathartic to talk of her past. Opening up to Richard had been easier that she had though it would be. While they had talked she had felt none of the judgment she was afraid he would express about her upbringing. When he had talked about his childhood with Martha, she could hear the pain and regret he felt towards his somewhat transient childhood. While for the most part he had spoken of regrets and missed childhood experiences, he did tell her about some of the amazing people he had gotten a chance to meet.

Most of the morning Castle was sequestered in his hotel suite with the last minute details and emergencies with Rene. As always when big parties were planned, many details require last minute scrutiny. Rene handled these minor last minute emergencies with increasing panic. Castle thought that Rene was a 'sprinter' when it came to planning rather that a 'long distance runner'. Rene did his best work in the last seven-two hours before the event, but these were also the most stressful hours of Rene's life. So Rick and Rene spent the rest of the morning and part of the afternoon finalizing the party details. In the late afternoon Richard left Rene and started getting ready for the ball. Around 6PM the hotel kitchen staff brought in dinner for Castle and his family.

Kate spent the morning going over cold case files. Mid afternoon Alexis came by after school had let out and took Kate to her favorite salon. The women spent time talking and being pampered before going back to the hotel to get ready for the ball. Kate snuck over to see how Castle was holding up. She found his sitting on the couch eating.

"So you are relieving stress by eating?" She queried.

"Just eating to keep up my strength. How was your day?"

"Cold cases and paperwork, you know, just another quiet day at the 12th." Kate supplied.

"The sacrifices you make to keep the city safe, they should give you a raise."

"With the budget cuts the city has been making? Not a chance in hell."

"All the more reason to have fun tonight." Rick added.

"Huh? You lost me."

"When you are under paid, work is not as enjoyable as it could be, so you have got to get your fun where you can get it. Free Food and dancing, wearing a beautiful dress and a mask, you can eat drink and be anonymous."

"I doubt that people will be fooled by a mask, Castle "

"It's psychological anonymity. Oh, I do want to warn you, there will be press there so be prepared for Nikki Heat questions."

"I really hate the press; I don't see how you can stand the probing."

"They're a necessary evil. They keep my name out in the public domain, sometimes good and sometimes bad but they keep my name out there. If it is any comfort, sometimes I hate them too."

"You know what I would really like to do tonight? I would like to be curled up with you in front of the fire, on your couch, with a bowl of ice cream and some hot chocolate." Kate said wistfully.

"We could do that you know, the only problem is the press would get wind of it and we would plastered all over the papers tomorrow. So attending the Ball is a good way to spend time together while not letting the entire world know that we are togeth…. That brings up a good question. What is our designation? Colleagues, Friends, going steady, what exactly are we?"

"Well be are certainly Colleagues, probably close friends, we can't be going steady cause you haven't taking me out yet." Kate was somewhat relieved that he had not brought up lovers.

"Well then, I guess this is our first official date." Castle said somewhat surprised.

"I guess it is." Kate agreed. That realization made her feel even more nervous. "Will we get outed tonight?"

"So long as we keep the PDA's to a minimum we should be fine. So if you feel the need to shower me with kisses or.. .. You know, ravish me, you need to do it here…. Now, if you want."

"I think I can manage my PDA's just fine, without ravaging you." Kate smiled, hoping that Ricks good mood would last.

"Pity, it has been a long time since I have had a good ravishing, I kind of miss it." Rick Lamented.

"Do you have your meds, just in case?" Kate said changing topics.

"I gave them to Alexis earlier. She'll be keeper of the Drugs tonight. The Ball starts in about an hour, so if it takes you awhile to get ready, then you better start. There is food out over at the mini bar if you want something before the Party."

Kate watched Rick move off towards his room and wondered if she had done something or said something that had triggered the brisk behavior. She hated the fact that since Rick had gotten out of the hospital, he seemed to be very thin skinned. He seemed to take offence at the slightest misstep. She moved purposefully to his room. She entered to see Richard pulling off his tee shirt. Again she had to admire his physique, for someone who had such a sedentary joy, he was very fit. She walked over to him. Gently she reached out and caressed his shoulder. He shuddered. She moved in front of him and looked into his face. She had been expecting to see hurt, but instead she saw curiosity. They moved together. As their lips touched she felt the familiar shock of pleasure. His arms wrapped her into a tight, comforting embrace. She knew it would not be much longer that she would want to stay at this plateau. Richard's kiss promised an erotic experience in bed. She knew that they both wanted to move the relationship along, but at the moment they were stuck in 'go slow' mode. Kate was sure that Castle was just waiting for a signal from her to move on. She promised herself that soon she would give in to their desire for each other.

"What was that for?" She asked as they broke their kiss.

"That one was for me, in case I get lonely tonight, while at the party."

####

Forty five minutes later Kate returned to Castle's suite to find Alexis and Martha waiting to go down to the Ballroom. Martha gasped at the beautiful off the shoulder gown that Kate was wearing.

"Very nice, Kate." Martha crooned "You'll have to beat them off with a baseball bat. My son is going to have a difficult time tonight. Every red blooded man is going to be prowling for you. Richard's eyes will be glued to you tonight. Let me see it with your mask on."

Kate complied, pulling the mask out of its box she gently put it on.

"Oh my!" Martha commented

"What?" Kate panicked. Did the dress not go with the mask?

"I had wondered where that mask had gone."

"Did Rick take this from you?"

"What? No, no I had just seen that mask at Tiffany's a couple of weeks ago and had wondered who had purchased it."

"Tiffany's, the mask is from Tiffany's?"

"Well I seem to be the luckiest man in the city tonight." Rick said as he entered the room. ."There can't three more gorgeous women out there."

Rick was dressed in Tails complete with an Opera Cloak. His mask was an unadorned white and was reminiscent of the Phantom's mask from "Phantom of the Opera", covering three quarters of his face. His mouth was set in his traditional sardonic half grin. Kate realized that his mocking smile, which she once had thought to be patronizing, was in truth turned inwards. Rick Castle mocked himself as well as the fools of the world. He did not take himself seriously, so he would suffer no fools who took themselves too seriously, which is why he did not get along very well with the Blue Bloods of New York, who took themselves way too seriously.

"You all look ravishing," Rick gushed. "Kate, all I can say is, oh my!"

Kate grabbed Rick arm and pull him off to the side. "You bought this mask at Tiffany's?"

"Yes." Castle answered.

"The purple, red and green stones?" Kate whispered.

"Garnets, Rubies and Emeralds, Kate I am disappointed in you the box was clearly marked."

"I really didn't pay attention to the outside of the box." Kate hissed.

Richard sighed. "I did something wrong? Why are you mad at me?"

"I'm not mad at you, Richard. I am mad at myself."

"What? Why?"

"I left this box in my car for a week. It could have been stolen… How much did it cost?"

"You know, you are not supposed to ask the price of gifts. It's rude."

"How much?" Kate persisted

"You don't really want to know." Castle looked into Beckett's face and saw the determination there. He sighed again. "Around ten thousand, it cost around ten thousand dollars."

Kate went pale. "I can't accept this, it cost too much."

"You are going to keep it Kate. You have already accepted it, and I am not an 'Indian Giver'" Rick's voice was unusually firm. Kate was surprised to see how determined he was. "Kate, I would do anything to make you happy. Including buying you little baubles like the mask." He pulled her into a gentle hug. "Nothing is too good for you, Kate"

A knock on the door interrupted the conversation. Rick moved toward the door.

"That should be Ryan, Esposito, Lanie and the Captain. I invited them to go down to the party with us." Castle said.

Alexis moved over to a still disturbed Kate. "What's wrong?"

"Oh, you dad neglected to tell me that the mask had real gems set into the mask. I thought that the stones were paste or glass. I left the box in the car all week."

"Oh my, but Kate have you every known my dad to buy 'faux' anything?"

"That's the point, Alexis; I don't know what your dad is going to do from one moment to the next. I just did not think he would go out and buy me something that expensive. This was before he footed the bill for the dress."

"When have ever seen Dad skimp on anything? He bought the top of the line coffee maker for the precinct, for goodness sakes."

"I know, but back then I just though he was showing off. I didn't realize how generous he is."

"Ok everybody it is time to go." Richard called.

The elevator ride down was full of complements to the ladies and their dresses. The Captain introduced his wife, who was a huge fan, to Richard Castle. Kate was able to watch Rick work his 'fan' magic. He had developed a talent for treating a fan with a humble appreciation that ingratiated him with his fan without making them feel uncomfortable or over awed. Kate noticed that he paid each of the women in the elevator a compliment and made sure to get in a good natured ribbing at Ryan and Esposito expense. It could be said that Rick Castle could work the room. At last the doors opened and the group was disgorged into the Lobby and They were immediately surrounded by reporters and paparazzi.

Richard's skill at working the press rivaled the Mayors. He appeared to be genial and open while not giving the press any fodder for page six. The press would draw their own conclusions and report what they wanted to anyway. Several of the reporters zeroed in on Kate, wanting to know what is was like being Richard Castle's inspiration. Kate had to marvel again at the ease at which Castle handled the press.

The Masquerade was billed as the Fall season's must attend gala. Consequently the blue bloods and the party circuit all seemed to be in attendance. The Grand ballroom was decorated in simple elegance. Candelabras were space out around the room and the light from the candles added a mystical, fairytale feel to the room. The overhead lights were dimmed enough to allow that candlelight to accentuate the atmosphere. At one end of the hall a string quartet was playing at the other a rock band was setting up.

"The Quartet will play for the first couple of hours then the band will play until the end of the ball." Alexis explained. to Kate "I guess the quartet is for the older guests who will leave after they have been seen and fulfilled their obligations,"

"So it's all smoke and mirrors, make the appearance and look good then leave."

"For the old money, yeah, but the younger crowd, they're here to party. Oh, Dad wanted me to tell you that he is going to dance with a few women, mostly like Lanie and the Captain's wife. He has to play the good host, but he wants to make sure you keep your 'dance card' open so he can dance with you too."

"Ladies and Gentleman, if I may have your attention." Castle voice came over the speakers. "Thank you for coming to my party. I would like to start off the night by giving the first donation to the F.O.P Widow's Fund." Richard held up a check which he handed to someone that Kate assumed was the chairman of the Fund. "I have been working with the 12th Precinct for almost a year and I have seen first hand the good that the F.O.P. can do, so please be generous."

The Chairman gasped "One hundred thousand Dollars!"

**A/N:** This was ready last night but for some reason I was not able to log on. As always your interest in this story keeps me focused and going. Thank You.


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N:**Enjoy!

**XIV  
The Ball  
Everyone**

"A dance, Doctor Parish?" Rick inquired. The string quartet had started up a waltz.

"Castle, are you insane? I don't do waltzes. I haven't do that since I was a little girl at dance class."

"Come on Doctor, It's like riding a bicycle. You know… One, Two, Three,… One, Two, Three. It's as easy as falling down the stairs." Castle persisted. "I am sure you date won't mind" looking over at Javier who had brought Lanie because the two of them were in between relationships.

"No problem bro, knock yourself out." Esposito replied.

Castle guided a reluctant Lanie out onto the floor. As they started to dance Lanie began to relax. Castle, it seemed, was a confident partner, and was leading her smoothly. Apparently Bad Boy authors were required to know how to waltz. She found herself studying the man how had so deftly captured her best friends heart. He was roguishly handsome, with a sardonic smile. He was tall and possessed an aura of complete and utter confidence. There was usually a twinkle of mirth and mischievousness in his eyes, but tonight it was absent and in its place was a forlorn look. She also noticed a slight tremble in his back. Whether it was from nerves or a lingering effect of his shooting trauma, she did not know.

"So what are you playing at?" Lanie asked.

"Excuse me?"

"What's going on? Why are you making like you and Beckett hardly know each other? You have hardly talked to her since we came down."

"Ah," Castle smiled. "There is method to my madness. Being host I am required to mingle with my guests. So I am doing all of my mingling now, so I don't have to do it later. Second, Kate doesn't want to be in the media spotlight until after she is more comfortable with our…. Relationship, I guess that is was you would call it. So I am trying to keep my eyes and hands off her as much as possible, which let me tell you is a very difficult thing."

"I am nor a socialite Castle, why are dancing with me?" Lanie inquired.

"My reasons are three fold. First you are safe, you know about Kate and me so I don't have to be on guard. Second you are a beautiful woman, so the press will think I'm just tomcatting around, and third you are Kate's best friend so I can pick your brain about her."

"So what you're saying is you are a devious bastard, with Machiavellian plots afoot."

"You know me too well, Doctor Parish." Castle opined.

"By the way you do have permission to call me Lanie… Doctor Parish is so formal, for partners in crime." Lanie laughed as they waltzed into the middle of the dance floor.

Kate watched as Rick waltzed onto the dance floor with her best friend. She was dismayed that she felt a pang of jealousy. She knew, and had been reassured by Alexis that Rick was dancing around to try to keep their relationship under the radar, but still it burned a little bit to see him dancing with other women. Kate had never been the possessive type before. When she was dating Will, he had a absolutely gorgeous partner, but she had never felt threatened by her. Perhaps it was Castles supposed inability to keep it in his pants that had her unsure and therefore jealous. She was learning that despite the press saying otherwise, Richard was utterly loyal. She found it hard to reconcile the man from his press image. She was finding it very aggravating to find that she had some self worth issues when it came to the upper crust. She worked for a living and these pompous Blue Bloods had a silver spoon in their mouth at birth, she shouldn't feel inferior to anyone.

"So Detective Beckett, how are you doing tonight?"

Kate looked over to see a man dressed in a dark gray suit. His bearing was that of one that skated on the outskirts of High Society, He had an undertone of jealousy and contempt, which seemed to color everything he did or thought. He was handsome with dark brown curly hair and hazel eyes. He had been athletic in his youth but and stopped really taking care of himself. She automatically compared his to Castle and this guy lost in every category. She mentally kicked herself for making such rapid judgments.

"Excuse me, do I know you?" Kate replied.

"Eric Browning of the Daily Star, I'm their book reviewer. So tell me, is it true that Rick is lacking in the 'bed" department?"

"Excuse me?" was all she could say.

"Oh, come now, we all know that you are Ricky's newest conquest. Let's not beat around the bush. We are both too worldly for that." Eric replied.

"Richard Castle is shadowing me, researching his new character Nikki Heat. That's as far as it goes. It is a professional relationship." Kate said keeping a careful lid on her anger.

"Come now Ms. Beckett, do you expect me to believe that you and he aren't romantically involved, given his track record of conquests? Tell me have you been in any of the orgies that have been rumored to go on in his apartment?

Kate realized that this reporter was fishing for gossip. Eric was not the book reviewer he was the gossip columnist. She also seemed to recall that he and his paper had been hit by a defamation law suit brought by Castle and had lost. Before she could frame a suitable reply, she was interrupted by a very suave gentleman dressed in Black Tails similar Richards.

"Hello Eric, written any good slander today?" His baritone voice was very precise, and had smooth quality about it. "Why don't you run along and find some more lies to print. I'm sure your paper would love to pay out more money in lawyer's fees."

Eric reddened at the insults but said nothing. He gave a brisk nod in Kate's direction and stormed off. The suave gentleman turned to Beckett and gave her a wry smile.

"Please forgive Eric; he has had a lot to live down to. Ah, but where are my manners, Benjamin Reginald Kensington Smythe at your service Detective."

"Wow that's a mouth full." Kate blurted.

"Quite, my mother calls me Benjamin, my business associates call me Ben, my friends call me Benny and Richard calls me Bricks. You may call me whatever you like."

Kate smiled Ben could turn on the Blue Blood charm when he wanted to. "Bricks?" she had to ask.

"Yes when Ricky and I met, he decided to make my name by pronounce my initials as a word, B.R.K.S. became Bricks, you see. Ricky and I met in elementary school and Bricks sounded so much cooler than Reggie."

"So you have known 'Ricky' since elementary school?"

"Yes, sad to say. We sort of fell into the same crowd and became fast friends. We have helped each other out over the years. My record with prep schools is just about as bad as Ricky's so we seemed to follow each other from school to school."

"What was Ricky like as a child?" Kate inquired.

"Not frightfully different than today, if truth be told, he was a chevalier even then."

"Rick a chevalier? I have a hard time picturing a young Castle as being chivalrous."

"Well, yes, he was. He was d'Artagnan and I was Porthos there were two other boys that fleshed out our Musketeers, Eric being one of them. Although in modern parlance Eric was more an Anakin Skywalker. One day I shall have to invite you over for lunch and I will regale you with the tales of our exploits. Ricky will never forgive me of course, but such is life, I shall bear up well in the face of his wrath."

Kate was amused by the somewhat whimsical nature of Ben was displaying. Her curiosity was afire. She now had access to someone who knew Richard and his childhood. She ached to interrogate the man and learn all of Castle's secrets.

"So what can you tell me about Ricky, in the time we have?"

"Well suffice to say, I owe him my life. When we were younger I had a tendency to get picked on a lot. As you may have guessed I am not exactly butch. Consequently the older boys would pick on me. Richard, with the daring you would expect of him, dredged up a lot of family secrets on those boys and basically blackmailed them into leaving me alone. It worked too, after he divulged that one boy was buying his papers from a college student and got him kicked out of the Academy, nobody bothered me again. They did go gunning for Ricky, though. They made his life a living hell for awhile, but he made sure to pay them back in spades."

"I can see Rick doing some audacious things in school, mostly with the girls though."

"Oh, he was a wooer of the ladies, that's true. I got a front row seat to see Ricky's way with words. He was brilliant and eloquent, a dangerous combination in an adolescent, he would talk himself into and out of trouble, on a daily basis. That he was smarter and more adept with the written word than most of our English teachers caused him hardship. I always knew that if Ricky wanted to, he would be one hell of an author. I think that he would probably excel at anything he put his hand to."

"Don't tell him I told you, but he is a great asset to the police department. He has helped us crack more than one case. So Eric, did doesn't strike me as a blue blood? Oh sorry I did not mean to disparage…. "

"Please, Kate I can't stand the Blue Bloods and I am one of them. It is an interesting juxtaposition, when we were younger it was Eric who was from a rich family and Ricky who was poor, well poor compared to us Blue Bloods. Eric's family was heavily involved in domestic oil production during the Seventy's oil crunch. They became the paupers and Ricky the bestselling writer. At the time it was Erick that was convinced that he was God's gift to the written word and Ricky that wanted to be a reporter. Eric was convinced that his connections would be his ticket to the world of the Bestselling Author. Well when the money dried up so did the connections."

"So what was the lawsuit about?"

"Oh, that was truly tragic, about five years ago Eric printed an unsubstantiated rumor about Ricky and a young up and coming Broadway actress. She was banking on her wholesome image to make a name for herself. When pictures that were supposedly of Ricky and her 'doing the nasty' in public, well she got dropped like a hot potato. She was young and penniless, so Ricky sued the pants off the paper Eric was working for, the Ledger, I think it was, and sued him for good measure. I mean Ricky had met the girl maybe once or twice; there had not been any dates between the two, and they both had strong witnesses that placed them nowhere near the park in question. The photo expert was able to prove beyond any doubt that the picture had been tampered with, well the Ledger settled as quick as they could. They fired Eric of course, and now Eric works for that Rag the Daily Star. Anyway, Ricky gave the entire settlement to her, less attorney's fees, of course. So she is sitting on quite a nest egg and Eric is still trying to dig up enough dirt on Richard, to ruin him. It's a tragic situation." Ben finished sadly.

Kate was about to press further when Rick came sauntering up. He was slightly flushed. She could not tell if it was because of panic or exertion from dancing.

"So Bricks have you had sufficient time to embarrass me."

"Ah, Ricky, I saved you damsel from Eric's company, and was able to get in a few tidbits. I have peeked her curiosity enough that she has agreed to have lunch with me."

"Aw, come no Bricks, that's not fair."Rick complained good naturedly "You're not suppose to blab my secrets to anybody. We made a pact, sealed it in blood."

"Statute of Limitations, dear boy, those blood packs are only good for fifteen years. You have to renew them or they lapse; besides this is Detective Beckett we are talking about. If you are as smart as I know you are, you won't let this one get away." Ben turned to Kate. He took her hand and pressed it to his lips." It was enchanting to meet you, my dear Kate." And Ben moved off to mingle.

"He is a very interesting man." Kate opined.

"Oh, Bricks is more interesting than you know, and he is probably my best friend, present company excluded, of course. Will you dance with me Kate?"

Rick led her out into the maelstrom of dancers. Ballroom dancing was just so alien to her. She had the obligatory dance classes when she was young but they had been ballet and tap. With a sureness that comforted Kate's fear, Richard began the dance. The pair, who had been working together for months, seemed to have reached some subliminal understanding, and began to move as one. Kate allowed herself to relax and enjoy her time in his arms.

"So, Ricky…" she Started

"Please no Kitten and no Ricky" Castle groaned

"Alright, Richard, what's up with the big donation? Did you think it would earn you brownie points with the cops?" Kate continued.

"What… Oh no." he chuckled. "That was a stroke of genius on my part."

"Genius, huh? I don't see it."

"Well with my donation so breathlessly announced by the Chairman. The Upper Crust, who hate me for becoming so wealthy, won't be able to offer less than I did. It would be a scandal. So the F.O.P. should make out well tonight."

"So it wasn't show off?" Kate asked.

"Kate, you wound me. The Widows fund is in need of a good influx of money. 911 drained their coffers and it isn't any safer to be a cop now, they need the capital." Castle said matter of factly.

Kate smiled and began to feel warmth spread through her. She leaned in and whispered seductively "Let's go find someplace private so a cop can show you her appreciation……"

**A/N: **I very much enjoyed writing this chapter. Bricks was particularly fun. Hope you enjoyed reading.


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: **Enjoy! Sorry of late Late :(

**XV  
The Ball  
You know the Drill**

Kate began to thread her way toward the exit to the grand ballroom, with Castle following close behind. Even though they were going to find some privacy, they were not touching. Rick had let go of her when they had parted, giving her a knowing look. He was determined to give her was much time out of the media's eye as he could.

"Ricky," came a voice off to their left. Kate and Rick looked over at a young buxom blonde almost running toward them. "Ricky it's me, Roxy. Don't you remember? The Mayor's New Years Eve gala?"

"Of course, Roxy Blue the weather girl for Channel 7, how could I forget?"

Kate looked at Roxy. The blonde woman was every adolescent male's fantasy, curvaceous, perky, with hungry bedroom eyes, with a shapely body that fairly screamed 'Touch Me'. With growing trepidation Kate looked at Rick, knowing that she surely would no longer be on the receiving end for Castles lustful looks. To her surprise, the smile that was pasted on Castle's face did not reach his eyes. How was it that Richard, who was the epitome of the twelve year old male, could be immune to the sexually charged looks being given him by Roxy?

"Detective Beckett, This is Roxy Blue from Channel 7 weather."

"Nice to meet you." Kate lied. Even if Rick did not seem interested, Kate felt the stirrings of jealousy. Kate was not a possessive person, as a general rule, but the lustful way that this bimbo was looking at Rick made her want to grab her by her platinum blonde hair and throw the from the room.

Rick having had years of experience evading rabid fans had neatly side stepped the peroxide blonde and shifted her attention away from him and onto Kate. He was pleasantly surprised to see Kate flash the weather girl a look of jealousy. He would admit, in his fantasies he might think of two women fighting over him, like the women in the light beer commercial. In reality he was under no illusions that such a thing would happen to him.

"So Ricky, want to go somewhere private and get acquainted?" Roxy blatantly suggested.

"Ahem," Rick cleared his throat. "As much as that sounds fun, I am hosting this event, so I really can't leave for that long." Rick replied.

"Well, maybe later, you and I really have to hook up, this time." Roxy said and then sauntered off, the promise of carnal delights in her swaying hips.

To his credit Rick did not watch the bimbo walk away. As soon as Roxy's back was turned Rick turned and waited for Beckett to lead the way to their private rendezvous He was disappointed the see her looking at him speculatively. Castle sighed, his bad Karma showing its evil head again, his private hook up with Kate looking even more distant all the time.

"So what's the deal Rick?" Kate asked. "She surely would have been an easy lay, why haven't you availed yourself?"

"Well Kate, besides the fact that I only have eyes for you now, I get a real Glen Close, Fatal Attraction kind of vibe from her. Contrary to popular myth, I don't 'hit that ' with every woman in New York, If I had sex with every woman that I have been rumored to, I would either be in the hospital on life support, or dead, killed by a jealous lover or husband."

Richards's earnestness convinced Kate he was telling the truth. She found it comforting that she could read Richards facial cues. She was very certain that if Rick tried to lie to her, she would be able to tell. She was just as certain that Castle would be able to do the same to her.

The desire she had felt when she had heard what Richard's donation was meant to do, was waning but her resolve for a little alone time with Richard was still strong. She really did wish that they could spend some time in his apartment on the couch in front of the fire, which was becoming her favorite spot, a place of peace and contentment. She noticed that Richard was waiting to follow her lead. She saw resignation in his face, a knowing that the magic moment had passed, but she also saw hope, a hope that they could steal some time for themselves. She felt a glow of contentment, knowing that he wanted to be with her and no one else.

Before the amorous pair could make their escape, the Mayor grabbed Castles arm and with the briefest of apologies to her whisked Rick off to meet some of his political friends. Kate watched worriedly. Richard was beginning to show the signs of stress he had shown that day at the precinct. His smile was plastered on his face, a thin sheen of sweat broke out on his brow and his eyes were glazed over. She moved purposefully over to the Mayor and touched his arm.

"Mr., Mayor, Rick is still taking some medication from the shooting and it is time for him to take them." Kate explained.

"Detective Beckett, I have already told you to call me Bob. I am sure that Ricky can wait a little while longer, before he takes his medication. I just have a few more people to introduce him to."

Kate ground her teeth in frustration. Nobody seemed to want to take Castle best interests into consideration. She at last was beginning to understand the 'curse' that celebrity was. To the Mayor, who was a friend of Ricks, placed the scoring of political points above Castle's health. Admittedly the Mayor had no idea just how 'brittle' Richard really was, but he had not tried to find out Rick's condition either. Kate worried that Richard may have a episode similar to, or worse than the one he had at the precinct. Kate tried to strike a balance between hovering too close and being too far away to help if anything went wrong.

As the string quartet gave way to the rock band, there was an influx of dancers, which obscured Beckett's view for a moment, when her line of sight was clear again the Mayor was talking to his associates without Castle by his side. She quickly moved to the Mayor's side.

"Excuse me Mr….. Bob did you see where Castle went?"

"No, he just mumbled about needing to get his meds and went off.", the Mayor Explained. "Wait a minute Detective… I need to introduce you to a couple of people." Before she could get away the Mayor took her arm and started to pull her over and make introductions.

It took her precious minutes to get free of the Mayor and his cronies. She quickly moved over to Alexis to see if she had seen her father leave. Alexis was over at one of the tables spaced around the outskirts of the room. She was sitting with a couple of teens that Beckett guessed were classmates.

"Alexis, did you see you dad leave?" Kate queried.

"No, the last time I saw him he was with the Mayor. Is something wrong?"

"I don't know. He was looking a little…. Tense and went off on his own."

"I'll help you look for him."

"No sweetie, I'll get Ryan and Esposito to help. You stay put so if I need to get a hold of you I'll know where you are."

"Okay, but keep me in the loop" Alexis asked worriedly.

It took a few minutes for her to find Esposito and Ryan. Javier was with Lanie over near the punch, but Ryan was nowhere to be found. He showed up a couple of minutes later with his girlfriend in tow. They both looked disheveled, so Kate guessed that Ryan had the same idea she had about a little private time with his significant other. She just raised an eye brow."

"Cloak Room" he muttered embarrassed.

The three cops first split up and walked the room to make sure that Castle was not in the ballroom. After coming up blank they began to widen their search to the surrounding rooms. Kate went up to the Suite that Castle was staying in, but there was no one there. Kate was beginning to panic. What if he had wandered out of the building? What if he decided to go to the roof and jump off? All manner of grisly scenarios sped there her panicked mind. She tried to calm her mind on the elevator ride down, to little effect.

As the doors to the elevator opened onto the ground floor, Kate was accosted by Eric Browning. He was pale and seemed to be having trouble standing. He swayed right and left. He looked very confused and more than a little surprised.

"Castle……… Why,,,,,,,,,,?" He stuttered.

His eyes rolled up into their sockets as he fell. Kate could see the reason, a large knife protruded out of his back. He gave a last gasp of air and then Beckett heard the all too familiar Death Rattle. She checked his pulse and pulled her phone out of her small clutch, before she could call the ambulance, her phone rang.

"Beckett." It was Esposito on the phone.

"Yeah" she replied numbly

"We found your boy…. But you're not going to like it."

"What" her heart sank.

"We found him down in the showers by the gym and pool. He's underneath the shower in just his pants and socks, but the real kicker….. There is blood on his coat and shirt, but there are no cuts on him."

"I think I may know how that blood got there….." She hung up and dialed 911, "Oh Castle, what have you done. Baby, what have you done………"

**A/N(1): **Since I ended just about every chapter with a cliffy, ijust had to add one here. BTW anybody think they know 'who done it?'

**A/N(2): **First let me apologize for being late. I could offer all of the reasons this didn't get updated last night, chiefly because this particular chapter 15 was not yet written. This is my fourth chapter 15. The first three were just offal (very appropriate pun). Usually sit down with a good idea about what is going to happen in the chapter. When I sat down to write I knew almost exactly what I wanted to write, but when I read it… well to be blunt, it sucked. So after two more passes I finally got a chapter that I am happy with. Here's to hoping it does not happen again. I will now step off my soap box. Until next time.


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: S**orry for being tardy. I can only blame real life for intruding.

**XVI  
The Ball  
Everyone**

"Okay Rick, what do you remember?" Kate asked.

The police had commandeered one of the smaller conference rooms to use for interviewing witnesses. Castle sat across from Beckett looking lost and bewildered. He was still wearing the tux pants but he now had on a Waldorf staff shirt on. His coat and shirt had been taken by Lanie back to the ME's office along with the knife that had been in Eric Browning's back.

Kate knew that she was on thin ice. She shouldn't be interviewing Castle, since she knew him, and was in a relationship with him, but she needed to be here. She watched his hurt looks as he tried to gather his thoughts.

"Ka… Beckett, you know I am being framed right? I know that this looks bad, but you know me, I would not stab Eric in the back. I might kill him off in one of my books, but I would never hurt someone physically."

"Come on, work with me Castle, what can you remember?"

"Alright, I remember coming down to the Ball, you were there Ryan, Esposito, Lanie, Martha and Alexis, were all in the Elevator. I remember that I danced with Doctor Parrish after that things get a little fuzzy. I danced with you but then nothing, until Ryan and Esposito found me in the shower."

"There was blood on your clothes, Rick. Try to remember anything. If you don't have a solid alibi, I am going to have to interrogate you. Don't put me in that position."

"Kate I wish I could remember anything, I'm trying but there is nothing but fog. You know me Kate. You know I am not capable of such a crime."

"You've got a rap sheet, Castle, a long one."

"Granted but it is all petty stuff. Kate, why are you treating me like a murderer?"

"Because I have to! It's my job Castle. I have to find Browning's killer. You have a motive."

"What? That he spread lies about me in the press? If you will recall I got justice. The courts sided with me. He had to print a retraction, He was fired, and the Ledger made a Broadway actress very rich. If anything he had motive to kill me. Not the other way around."

Castle barked out a laugh.

"What?" Kate asked perplexed.

"I never pictured our first fight as a couple would be about me being a murderer, about me being a wise ass, yes, but about me killing someone, no. Besides I killed Eric off in my books a long time ago, Storm Front to be exact. He was the nosey journalist who got dumped into a drum of acid."

Kate chuckled, in spite of herself. She realized that she had been angry at Rick. She had blamed him for the situation they were in, when he was being framed for the murder. She admitted to herself that she could see not way that Castle could actually have murdered someone. She hoped that when this little drama was over that Richard could forgive her.

"Rick, stay in this room and think. Try to piece the night back together. I need to check with Ryan and Esposito." Kate leaned over and kissed his cheek.

"There's something I never thought you would do." Rick said.

"What, Kiss you again?"

"No, kiss me in an interrogation room."

"You just never know when or where you might get lucky." Kate grinned.

"I had a dream about you in and interrogation room, but that was the room at the station and there were a lot fewer clothes involved, and a lot more _Heat_."

"You never know, Richard, I have been told that Nikki and I could be sisters."

"You don't know how much that scares and excites me, on so many levels."

********

"Ok guys what do we have?"

"It looks bad for our boy." Esposito opined.

"Yeah, the CSU boys were able to determine that the blood on Castle's shirt was the same blood type as our Vic's. And nobody seems to have seen Castle around the time of our murder. Whoever did this made sure he was off grid when they struck." Ryan stated.

"Whoever? So you don't believe that Castle did this?" Kate asked, relieved.

"No way, he may write murder books for a living, but he is an ole softy." Esposito returned. "Lanie said that she was unconvinced with the blood evidence, something about spatter patterns. Anyway she has gone with the body back to the lab…"

Esposito was interrupted by Ryan's cell phone going off. After a brief conversation he looked grim and hung up.

"Strike two for Castle fans, the partial fingerprints on the knife were Castles."

"That's no surprise, that knife was the one Rick used to cut the big Get Well cake. So somebody is working hard to make sure Castle get's framed. Ryan get with Martha and Alexis, see if they can shed some light on whom Castle is enemies with. Esposito get some uniforms and find the primary crime scene. If we know where it happened maybe we can rule Castle out by proximity."

******

As Ryan went off to find Martha and Esposito went in search of some plain clothes policemen for the crime scene search, Kate pull out her phone. The number she dialed rang twice before answering.

"Doctor Simmons. Kate Beckett, I need to ask you some questions in an official capacity."

"So you are calling as Detective Kate Beckett, not Kate Beckett patient? All right what can I do for you… Detective?'

"I need to ask you some questions about Richard Castle's state of mind. Do you think that he is capable of physical violence?"

"Oh dear, Alright let me preface this by saying that all people are capable of violence, given the right set of circumstances. As for Castle, about the only time I could see him getting physically violent would be to protect a loved one he perceived to be in danger. If someone would attack Alexis or Martha or even you, then I think he might resort to violence, but under any other conditions I would say no."

"What about when in the middle of a panic attack?" Kate inquired.

"Then even less likely, when he is experiencing an attack he is looking to hide from the stresses, not attack them. He will go looking for the nearest shower, more than likely, rather that hurt someone."

"Why does he go to the shower?" Kate could not keep her curiosity at bay.

"He is literally looking to wash away his shame. He is ashamed of the panic he feels. Intellectually he knows that the panic is unwarranted and is ashamed that he can't control it. But I think we have gone a little far afield, in your questioning."

"Sorry Doctor Simmons, One last question. Do you think Richard could kill someone?"

"Oh Kate, you know the answer to that one already. Richard Castle would probably only take a like if someone were trying to kill Alexis, Martha, or You"

*****

Ryan sat down with a worried Martha and Alexis. The rumors of what had happened had run through the guests of the ball. Wild stories of a blood soaked Castle standing over a dead body, wielding a knife, with death in his eyes, had also made the rounds, leaving the pair even more worried.

"Detective," Martha started "What is going on and where is my son?"

"Mrs. R, Castle is fine, at the moment. It appears that someone is trying to frame your son for the murder of Eric Browning."

"That's preposterous, Richard wouldn't hurt a fly."

"I understand Mrs. R., but at the time Castle was having one of his attacks so he doesn't remember anything. Also he has blood on his shirt and coat; we believe it is from the victim."

"Detective Ryan, my dad wouldn't hurt anybody in real life, in his books, sure, but not in reality." Alexis defended her father.

"Take it easy, Lexi. We are going on the assumption that someone wants to frame your dad. So we need to know if Castle has any enemies that might want to see you dad thrown in jail."

"Good Lord, Detective, just about every critic that my son has proven wrong, several book publishers that my son refuses to leave Black Pawn for…"

"Not to mention other authors that dad routinely out sells, and there are the crazy fans. You've had a front row seat for those, but Dominic, unless he had escaped, is out of the picture." Alexis finished.

"Ok," Ryan sighed."I see it is going to be a long list. Let's try to limit it to the people that were here tonight."

"We got real lucky." Esposito said. "One of the Uni's found a drop of blood on a stair case. The CSU guys investigated and found out that someone tried to clean up the mess. So we have the primary crime scene. The good news is it is on the other side of the hotel from where Castle was found, the bad news it is very secluded. So finding any witnesses is going to be difficult, but if the CSU tech is correct we are going to be looking some shorter than Castle."

****

"Detective, half a moment," Bricks called out to Beckett.

"Bricks, I really don't have time to chit chat." Kate responded. She really did not have time to spend talking to Ben. She needed to stay focused on the crime scene.

"I understand Kate, but I had some information that I wanted to share. It might have some bearing on the dreadful chain of events, this evening. I am sure that you know that Ricky could not have done this terrible crime, so I got to thinking and remembered something that I saw earlier this evening. I was Miles Dixon, the owner of the Ledger, in an argument with Eric." Bricks sighed. "Such a waist of life. Poor Eric."

"Just how heated was this argument?" Kate asked

"Quite heated, I heard Miles say he wanted to kill Eric, with his bare hands." Brick assured her.

**A/N:** Again I will apologize for the typos and Grammar


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N:** This one is early because the last one was soooo late: **Enjoy!**

**XVII  
The Waldorf  
Everybody**

"So Mister Dixon, You were having a problem with Eric Browning?" Esposito queried.

Miles Dixon was a graying fastidious man, who looked more like an accountant that a newspaper magnet. He had a thin worrisome face and weasel-ish eyes. His tailored suit probably cost more than a month's salary for the Detective. His spray-on tan was just slightly the wrong color giving him a jaundiced look.

"Of course I have a problem with Eric, he cost me five million dollars in a law suit and three times that in lost prestige. His hunt for vengeance for a perceived slight made the Ledger a laughing stock." Dixon complained.

"Do you know what the problem was?'

"Who the hell knows something that happened when they were kids. If it is really important you should ask Roxy. She and Eric were friends."

"The weather girl Roxy Blue?" Esposito asked

"Yeah, it was real strange, for awhile she wouldn't give him the time of day, but a about a year ago, they started going out. Apparently they hit it off because she became regular fixture at his side... Hell she sat with him at the last slander trial he was involved in six moths ago. If that is not love then I don't know what is."

"Did you ever talk to Eric about it?"

"Hell no, by that time he was someone else's problem."

"But you were seen threatening him tonight."

"Well of course I did, the idiot was groveling trying to get his job back. I told him no and he proceeded to try to blackmail his way back onto my staff. I told him I would see him in hell first. Then he tried to threaten my marriage, that's when I told him that I would personally pull him apart if he tried to hurt my family."

"So then you grabbed the knife off the cake table and stabbed him in the back in the west stairwell."

"What! No! I did no such thing. You can ask my associates I was in the ballroom all night."

###

"So, Martha," Ryan stated "of the roughly two hundred guests about fifty of them had some sort of run in with Rick?"

"That's right Detective."

"And you invite enemies, why… exactly?"

"For a variety of reasons, some of them you have to invite because of who they are or who they know, others are invited because of their position, various Board member and the like, and last there are some you invite so you can rub their nose in your success. Come to think of it, Richard doesn't do a lot of nose rubbing. Anyway Rene was in charge of the quest list, so you will have to talk to him about who invited and why."

"What, Mrs. R, you and Richard don't control the guest list." Ryan was shocked.

"Well to an extent. We give Rene the names of who we want to invite and who to definitely not invite, then we leave the rest to him. For charity events you have even less control, because you want lots of donors, lots of rich donors." Martha explained.

"Mrs. R, remind me to never get rich, it's too confusing." Ryan lamented.

###

Kate walked back into their makeshift interrogation room to see Rick sitting on the table in the lotus position. She smiled when she saw his mock serine face. The image of meditation was spoiled when Rick peeked open one eye.

"Rick what in the hell are you doing?"

"You told me to contemplate the evening to see if I could remember anything else and I did."

"Ok swami, I'll bite, what do you remember."

"I distinctly remember the two of us dancing together, I think we made really good dance partners, maybe we should try out for 'Dancing with the Stars'."

"Castle!"

"Okay, Okay, anyway as we were dancing I remember that you wanted to ravish me, you told me so… You said you wanted to show me one cop's appreciation."

"Richard," Kate blushed. Of course he would remember that, "that does not help me…. You…. Us." Kate was flustered.

"But I also remember that I saw Eric and Max Weller, the owner of the Daily Star, leave from the main doors and they did not look happy with each other."

"Well Castle that could be a lead, if it really happened and is not a figment of your imagination." Kate drawled

"Good, will you have your way with me now?"

"Cast….." Kate's phone interrupted her. "Beckett… Hey Lanie…. Are you sure? Will it hold up in court? Okay…. Sure… I'll tell him. Well Castle you have run into a bit of luck, Lanie says that there is no way you killed Eric. Apparently you are too tall for the angle of the blade in Eric's back, that and the blood on your clothes is inconsistent with the blood spray pattern that would have resulted in the stab wound. The bad news is that it is Eric's blood on your clothes. So somehow the killer put the blood on you. Castle that means that you saw the killer, you know who killed Eric."

###

Ryan stood at the edge of the Pool in the Waldorf, dazed as if in a dream. The service staff had told him the Roxy Blue and requested and was given a robe and towel for the pool. Ryan being the dedicated Detective and gone down to the pool to interview the weather girl. She was there gracefully swimming laps. Ryan stopped to admire her more athletic qualities. It was then that he realized that she was not wearing a bathing suit, but was indeed in her birthday suit. Ryan was …. Well Ryan didn't know exactly what he was. It was like he was in his own private scene out of a Derek Storm novel. If Castle had written this scene it would end with both Roxy and Ryan naked somewhere having hot sex. He tried to remember that he was dating someone and had been for about four months, but Roxy was unknowingly being a temptress. Ryan was ready to toss Jennifer or Ginger or whatever her name was for one night of lust. Of course he knew in his heart that such a thing would never happen. Kevin Ryan was never that lucky, besides if he did manage to seduce her or be seduced by her then following the Castle logic she would either be killed or be the killer and he would die. And one night of awesome sex would be worth nowhere near enough for his life. At last Roxy seemed to take note of his presence.

"Hello… Detective Ryan isn't it?"

"Ahem… How did you know?" Ryan stammered. He was waging a manful battle to keep eye contactand not let his eyes roan the golden expanse of her tanned body.

"I try to keep _abreast_ of who is in Rick's inner circle. You are a very lucky man. Rick has many acquaintances but very few friends. I guess that is the price of fame."

Ryan was almost sure that she has emphasized the word abreast.

"Well I hate to bother your midnight swim but I need to ask you some questions about your relationship to Eric Browning." Ryan was proud of himself he did not stammer once.

"Ah, well I knew the police would come to ask me questions. That's why I stayed at the hotel and made sure someone knew where to find me…. And here you are."

"Ms. Blue…"

"Please detective, call me Roxy."

"Alright Roxy, could you get out of the pool so we can talk?"

"Of course Detective, would you be a dear and get me the towel over on the divan?"

Ryan automatically went over to get the towel. He was glad for the respite, he had been about to lose the battle with his libido and just ogled her. When he turned around she was out of the pool and just standing there. If she had been Medusa, he would have turned to stone right there. If he had been Lots wife, he would now be table salt, but my, what a beautiful way to go. She was all sensuous curves and no hard angles. She would inspire the night dreams of adolescent males or one very stunned New York Detective. The image of her just standing there water beading off her skin would be forever etched in his mind, Recovering he quickly he rushed over to cover her nakedness. Though it all she stood there unconcerned almost oblivious to the effect she was having on the Detective.

"Thank you Detective Ryan, you are a true gentleman" she whispered huskily

"Ahem," Ryan cleared his throat again. "Ms Bl.." he squeaked "Roxy were you involved with Eric Browning?"

"Yes Detective, Eric and I were friends with benefits." Roxy said forthrightly.

"Oh… Ahem… Oh, I see and how long had you been seeing each other."

"Well we weren't really seeing each other. We went out and had sex occasionally but we weren't dating, exclusively… You know… friends with benefits. If you don't mind me asking, what is you first name?" Roxy asked laying a warm if somewhat wet hand on top of Ryan's.

"My name is Kevin ma'am… I mean Roxy. Do you know of anyone who would want to murder Mister Browning?"

"Eric had a lot of enemies, he was a journalist after all, and if the truth is told he was somewhat skuzzy with his reporting. He was a gossip columnist after all. He said he wasn't doing his job if at least half of New York wasn't pissed off at him. Unfortunately he didn't vet his stories very well. So he got sued a lot. Do you work out Kevin?'"

"Oh, not much, my work keeps me trim, Ah was there anybody that he had angered, you know, recently?"

"You do look very fit. I guess the most recent person he had really hacked off was Benny Smythe. He was about to publish a very scandalous story about Benny. It was so bad the Ben had called and threatened Eric."

During the bulk of the conversation Roxy had been slowly getting upset. At last she began to cry. She wasn't a howler but a quiet sober. Her shoulders were shaking and tears started to stream down her face. Despite his better judgment Ryan put a comforting arm around her back. She leaned in and cried on his shoulder. She gripped the front of his shirt and pulled him close. They stayed close until her crying jag was spent. During this interval of time Ryan tried to comfort the scantily clad weather girl as best he could. He wished that he had paid more attention to Beckett when she was dealing with the grieving of the family and girlfriends of the deceased.

What was left of her perfume and the chlorine from the pool created a unique and intoxicating scent part clean and part sensuous. He really wished that this was one of Castle's books, not reality, then he would know what to do.

"I am sorry Detective but I guess the fact the Eric is gone has just started to sink in. Do you have any other questions?" she said trying to wipe away the damage the crying had caused.

For the life of him Ryan could not think of a one and told her that they were done for the moment.

"I want to thank you, for being such a gentleman. There are those who would have taken advantage of my grief and perhaps… well done things. I feel very safe with you."

_'Great,' _he thought _'I have just become Roxy's gay best friend'_

"It's okay Roxy. It's part of my job." Ryan said.

"I have booked a room here at the hotel for the weekend. I was going to share it with Eric but, now…." She trailed off; she stood up and faced Ryan, who had unconsciously risen with her. She looked very sad and lost. "Kevin, I really appreciate the fact that you were gentle with me. If you have any other questions for me I'll be up in my room." She leaned in and gave him a soul searing kiss. All thoughts were erased from his mind leaving only a burning desire and a stark need.

"Kevin, would you be my friend…….."

**A/N:** Just trying to keep tabs, have I made it too obvious or is it sufficiently murky? let me know. It's kind of like Clue we know it was Eric stabbed with a knife in the stairwell but the who is interchangeable(at this point). As always your Reviews, Alerts and Favorites are truly heartwarming and make me want to write a better story for you. Just as a shout out GO RYAN. Peace out!!!


	18. Chapter 18

**XVII**

**The Waldorf**

**Everybody**

"I swear to you man, she was swimming buck naked" Ryan exclaimed.

"I think you are dreamin' Bro. She is hot, but way out of your league" Esposito rejoined. "

"Yeah, whatever, she said that Eric had some dirt on a guy named Benny Smythe. She said that this Smythe guy had called up and threatened Browning.

"So you think Smith…." Esposito said

"Smythe" Ryan corrected.

"Okay Smythe, you think Smythe off'ed the guy.? I don't know Bro, Benjamin Smythe is a pretty hefty dude, and about the same height as Castle. My money is on Miles Dixon, he is shorter and Eric cost him millions not to mention prestige."

"It was Professor Plum in the Conservatory with the lead pipe" Beckett supplied. "Guys how about we look for Evidence rather than guessing like Castle, go over to the victims apartment and see if there is anything there that might point toward a solid motive for a killer."

Beckett's phone rang. It was the Captain; after the murder fell into to Beckett lap he had taken his wife home and gone back to the precinct to await his detective's progress on the case. He had called from the precinct and asked Beckett to come by to 'discuss the case', which to Kate sounded somewhat ominous She made sure the detectives on the scene were continuing to take witness statements. She shuddered to think of all the statements she would have to sift through before the case was closed. She quietly prayed that they would catch the killer and get a confession so she did not have to plow through all that vapid High Society drivel.

###

Castle sat down beside Alexis and Martha with a relieved look on his face. He had secretly been afraid that in his fugue state had actually killed Eric. While he was no longer considered the prime suspect he was still a 'Person of Interest' and would need to stay clear of the investigation.

"Dad, are you okay?" Alexis asked concerned.

"Yeah, switchblade, I'm not going to the Pokey today."

"I meant, about your episode.. Kate said they found you in the showers down by the gym."

"I am doing alright, Alexis, it wasn't as bad as the last one. I only lost an hour or so not the whole afternoon."

"Do you need your meds?"

"No, I'll be okay. I'm more upset that one of my Friends or Frienemies is the killer. Eric had turned into a real sleazeball but he did not deserve to die."

"So what was his deal? Why were you and he so angry at each other? Esposito said that you and he had been enemies for years." Alexis inquired.

"To tell the truth I am not quite sure what he had against me. It could have been the fact that his family had been rich and lost it all while I have gotten richer. The last time we really hung out was back in grade school. One day we were hanging with Bricks the next he was swearing that we were enemies."

"And you have no idea why?" Martha prodded

"His family definitely went through the ringer over the oil crunch back in the seventies and then the bust in the nineties. If I can remember clearly around the time of our 'crisis' you had just sent me a very nice care package of food for my roommates. I believe that you had just been nominated for a Tony, and I remember that you had a very generous Gentleman Friend who had just purchased a stereo for my room….. Oh! I've got it….. I think I know what it was, I had just gotten the letter from Boy's Life, and they were going to publish my short story."

"You wrote for Boy's Life?" Alexis asked.

"It was a contest in the magazine, the best entry would get published and the Author would get a one hindered dollar savings bond. I still have that Bond in my office, somewhere, I think."

"What was the story about?" asked Alexis

"Oh it was a fairly juvenile story about two boys trapped outside during a storm."

"Well, you were a juvenile, dear. I remember being so proud that you had won the contest. I wore out a copy of that letter, showing to all my friends. You were my budding journalist. And look what you turned out to be a two bit hack." Martha opined

"This two bit hack put a roof over your head and food in your mouth…. Oh my God, I have just become my mother. Please, Alexis put me out of your misery now." Castle lamented.

###

Kate could not explain why, but she felt some trepidation walking into the Captain's office. Normally she had not problems walking into Captain Montgomery's office and speaking to him but there had been something in his voice that made her feel like she was going into the principal's office. Captain Montgomery sat at his desk reading through some report as she walked in. When she sat down he stood and went and closed the door. Her uneasiness went up a notch.

"Detective Beckett, Thank you for coming, how goes the investigation?"

"As well as can be expected, we have two hundred or so witnesses and no one saw anything. Dr Parish and the CSU guys were able to determine that Castle was most likely not the killer. It appears that some one went to some fairly extensive lengths to implicate him in the murder."

"Detective I am going to be blunt. Do I need to remove you from the case?"

"Sir?" Kate was blind sided.

"Are you looking too hard for another killer and exonerate Castle?"

"Excuse me, Sir?"

"It has come to my attention that you are in a relationship with Castle."

"And how has this happened?" Kate asked angrily.

The Captain produced a manila envelope and handed it to Beckett. She cautiously opened the envelope and pulled out a dozen or so, pictures of Kate leaving or entering Castles apartment building. The pictures were time and date stamped. What was really damning was the fact that in some of the pictures where she was entering the building at night and leaving in the morning she was wearing the same clothes. She looked at the return address on the front of the envelope.

"These are from Eric Brown. When did you get these?"

"They came in today's mail. I did not open this up until I got back to the office. It is very interesting that they came on the day he was killed. Is there anything you want to tell me Detective?"

"Captain, I will admit that I have been spending time with Castle, but it has been mostly as partners. And before you ask we haven't slept together." Kate hoped that she was not blushing. It was true that they had not had sex, but they had fallen to sleep together, so technically she was telling a little white lie.

"I know you are a fan of his, Beckett, and I know how good you are at your job, but in this case I'm not sure leaving you as lead investigator is such a good idea."

"I understand Captain, if you want I will let Ryan and Esposito take the lead…"

"That won't be necessary Detective, the fact that you are willing to let Ryan and Esposito take the lead, sets my mind at rest. If you had fought to keep lead then I would worry. And for the record, I don't care what is between you and Castle. As a matter of fact I would be happy for both of you if you two got together. You both certainly deserve to be happy."

"Thank you sir, I think…. Was there anything else in the envelope?"

"Just a brief note asking if we knew where 'our' detective was. It looks like a prelude to blackmail, if you ask me."

"Blackmail, That's pretty stupid, to try and blackmail the police."

"Well, stranger things have happened. With all the good press we have been getting recently, it would have been considered, just to keep the press frenzy to a minimum."

"What would have been considered?"

"Paying him off, It would seriously have been considered."

"The Police? Come on Captain. We would pay blackmail?" Kate was aghast

"Sometimes, Detective, if it is just one mosquito, sometimes it is easier to scratch the itch than to hunt down the bug….."

Kate's phone rang. It was Ryan and Esposito. They were at the victim's apartment. Kate conferred with the two and then looked back at the Captain.

"Apparently the police weren't the only ones that Browning was trying to blackmail. Eric was quite the busy beaver; he was blackmailing about ten different people. Ryan and Esposito are going to gather the evidence and meet back here. Our suspect list just got longer, but Castle is not on it."

###

Ryan used the pass key that the Apartment manager had given then to enter Browning's apartment. It was a skuzzy little place in the seedier side of the Burroughs. Even the air in the place seemed to reek of decay. It was as if Eric had died earlier in his apartment but was still able to get to the party before collapsing dead. The general messiness of the rooms screamed 'desperate sleazy reporter'. Ryan and Esposito moved purposefully into the apartment. With trained eyes they swept the apartment, looking for intruders or clues.

After clearing the apartment to make sure no human surprises were waiting, they got down to the serious task of searching the rooms for information about the victim. They were not getting anywhere when Ryan stumbled into a locked trunk. It took only moments to jimmy the lock and open the lid to see the treasure inside. What he found were a number of file folders each including copious notes.

"Hey, Javier, come see what I have found." Ryan said waving one of the folders around with a gloved hand.

"You found Eric's Playboy stash?" Esposito asked?

"Well, kinda'. It seems that Eric had been a naughty boy. There are about fifteen files in here, complete with photo documentation of some very high mucky mucks doing nasty things."

"This is disgusting" Javier opined after looking at the proffered file.

"Our little Eric had been a bad, bad boy. He has been trying to get rich the old fashion way… Blackmailing the rich." Kevin opened a small note book and thumbed through to pages full of writing and numbers. "My goodness Browning was very anal. Here is a list of all the people he had been blackmailing and how much they paid. If he wasn't dead, we would be putting him in jail for a long time."

"Is Castle in there?" Esposito asked

"Nope, there is a really thick file but no notes in the book on payments."

"I guess that there is an advantage to living you life on page six. If your crazy stuff gets reported in the paper, you can't really be blackmailed for it.. I'll call it into to Beckett." Esposito offered.

Ryan sat and sifted through the files trying to make sense of the situation. His cell phone rang.

"Ryan."

"Kevin?" the female voice sobbed over the phone.

It took a minute before Ryan placed the voice, "Roxy?"

"Kevin, oh thank God, Kevin you have to help me! There is someone in my room. I have locked myself in the bathroom and who ever it is, is trying to get in."

Kevin could hear banging in the background. "Roxy call 911 and I'll be there as soon as I can." Ryan vowed. "Javier, it sounds like someone is trying to attack Roxy, I'm heading there. I'll meet you at the Precinct." With that Ryan was out the door.

Esposito shook his head and chuckled, until he realized that Ryan had taken the car. Javier groaned and pulled his phone and called for a black and white, he was going to need help with the trunk anyway……


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N: **I don't know what happened to the notes in my last chapter. They just disappeared. Oh Well **Enjoy!!!!**

**XIX  
The Waldorf  
Ryan and Roxy**

Ryan was not usually the "Shining Knight" who ran off to save "Damsels in Distress", but there was just something about Roxy that pulled at Kevin's soul. As he was driving like a bat out of hell toward the Waldorf he tried to pin the reason down. Esposito had been right; Roxy was way out of his league. Ryan's lips still seemed to burn as he remembered that kiss by the pool. She had been talking about "Friends with Benefits" and had then asked Ryan to be her friend. There was this somewhat tortured slightly slutty innocence about her, which he responded to. She came off as somewhat naïve in some matters and very worldly in others. She practically begged him to be her guardian and now she was calling him because she was being attacked. His foot pressed farther down on the gas, hoping that he would not be killed before was able to help Roxy.

He screeched to a halt in front of the hotel and leapt out of the car, throwing the keys to the Valet. When he got into the entrance he slowed, a uniformed policeman had called him while he was weaving through traffic and had told him that the perp was gone but Roxy's hotel room had been trashed and she was refusing to come out of the locked bathroom until Ryan showed. He tried to walk with some decorum to the elevators but felt like he was running. He chaffed at the delay as the elevator slowly ascended to Roxy's floor.

There were two uniformed cops stationed at Roxy's door, which surprised Ryan. He realized that she probably dropped his name which might have gotten the extra cop involved.

"Is everything okay officers?" Ryan queried.

"Just fine Detective, CSU has already processed the scene, except for the bathroom, of course. The young lady was very adamant that she would only come out for you."

"Well you know how it is guys, we homicide detectives are all irresistible" Ryan quipped.

He entered the room and was shocked by the total destruction he saw. The room had been ransacked. Someone had destroyed the room in what looked like an attempt to find something. He tried to remember if Roxy had been wearing any expensive jewelry, but could only remember the water droplets standing on her naked skin, shining like diamonds.

"Roxy!" He called.

"Kevin, is that you?" her soft voice called from the bathroom

Ryan turned and was taken aback, some one had carved "DIE BITCH:" and "GIVE ME WHAT I WANT" deeply into the door of the bathroom.

"Hey, Roxy are you alright?" Kevin inquired.

Roxy opened the door and peeked out. She was wearing a sheer nightgown of the palest blue, which to Ryan's mind made look even sexier than when she had nothing on at all. Ryan swallowed hard and started to recite baseball stats in his head to keep from grabbing Roxy and throwing her on the bed. She bounded into his arms and held tightly to him. She pressed her body against him, causing to start reciting the 1975 line up for the Yankees.

"Oh Kevin" she sobbed. "I was so scared."

"It's okay Roxy, The Skell isn't here. Can you tell me what happened?"

"Skell?" Roxy asked.

"Uh…. It is what I call the bad guys, What Happened?"

"Oh Kevin it was horrible. While I was showering after my swim I heard a noise out here in the room. I got out of the shower and put on a towel." She smiled seductively. "I don't let just anyone see me naked… Anyway I went out into the room. There was this person, dressed in dark clothes and what looked like a sky mask, just tearing up my suitcase. I ask him what he was doing…"

"He?" Ryan asked.

"Well if it was a she, then she was flat chested and wore masculine cologne. And she hit like a guy. She gestured to a bruise on her cheek. Well he turned and hit me and asked me where _IT_ was. I ran back into the bathroom and locked the door. He yelled through the door wanting me to give _IT_ to him, but I told him I did not know what _IT_ was. That was when he started on the door and I called you." She broke down and sobbed.

Ryan knew what he was about to do was a breach of protocol, but at that point he did not care, He eased and arm around Roxy's shoulder and pulled her close. Roxy latched onto his shirt and pushed her face into his shoulder. Ryan received the full brunt of Roxy's intoxicating scent. She smelled of roses and lilac, that coupled with the fresh bouquet of the soap she had used made Ryan stumbled over Orel Hershiser's ERA for the 1994 season.

"I'm scared, Kevin. I don't feel safe here. I don't feel safe going home. What am I going do?" Roxy lamented.

"Well Roxy, I guess I can take you to the Precinct and you can stay there until we can think of something."

"I could stay with you." Roxy half asked, caressing Ryan's inner thigh.

"Cal Ripken Jr., 21 seasons, 3001 games, 11551 at bats…." He mumbled.

"What are you talking about?" Roxy demanded.

"What? Oh nothing Roxy….. Look you will be safe at the Precinct until we can work this out… Okay?"

"Alright," Roxy said somewhat petulantly

"So you need to get dressed and then we will get you safely to the Precinct."

Roxy walked over and closed the hallway door then headed toward the bed and the cascade of clothes that tumbled out of her suitcase. She rummaged through the pile pulling out a lacy bra and thong along with a pair of jeans and a white shirt. Ryan got up and moved toward the door.

"Where are you going?" Roxy asked.

"I…. I was just going to give you some privacy…."

"Please, stay. I have seen the way you have been looking at me, so I know you enjoy the view. Maybe you would like a close up view, now that we have more privacy. I know I want you look all you like… maybe touch……..?"

"Joe DiMaggio 13 seasons, 1736 games, 6821 at bats………"Ryan stammered

"Come here slugger." Roxy purred

###

"So what do we know so far?" Beckett asked Esposito as they began to sort through the files found in the locker in the victim's apartment.

"Well according to Browning's little black book he had been blackmailing about eight people for years. He had started files on three other people, Ben Smythe, Miles Dixon and his current employer Max Weller. From the notes in both Smythe's and Dixon's folder he had made initial contact and was about to score blackmail on both men. Dixon for cheating on his wife and Smythe for well… Let's just say for playing for the other team."

"Bricks is gay?" Beckett asked somewhat taken aback.

"Yep, and from all indications Benny has been in the closet for a long time."

"For as long as I have known him." Castle's voice caused Kate to jump.

"Castle, what are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be at the Waldorf, you know… being a suspect?"

"Look I understand that I can't 'actively' help with the investigation but since I am a person of interest I could at least help with some of the details. Think of me as a resource to be plundered." Castle leered at Kate.. "Anyway, Bricks was been gay for as long as I have known him. He has always been discrete and very mindful on how his sexual persuasion could hurt his family's status. Despite it being the twenty-first century the Blue Bloods are still stuck in the 1800's."

"These are your people, Castle….." Esposito teased.

"Like Hell they are! To be a Blue Blood your family has to have big money going back generations. Most of these families made their first big money just after the Revolutionary War. They consider you new money if you made your money after the Civil War and me…, well I am just and upstart just above dirt poor to those people. Hell they probably think Bill Gates is nothing but a squatter."

"What do you know about Weller and Dixon?" Kate asked.

"Dixon has been managing editor of the Ledger for about five years. He took it over when the Ledger and the News merged. He turned the paper around; it was going the way of the Star until he stopped the slide. Weller, well, he is the exact opposite. His personal credo is 'Sling Mud, See if it Sticks'. Weller probably would have made up the stories they have printed about me, if Eric didn't supply them to him. He is definitely not on my Christmas card list."

"So which of the three, Bricks, Dixon, or Weller is capable of murder?"

"Well of the TWO, I would pick Weller. He is a real slimy guy. I guess if Dixon was desperate…maybe."

"What about Bricks?" Kate honed in.

"Come on, you have met Bricks. The guy is a gentleman's Gentleman. He might find ways to hurt you financially but he wouldn't kill a fly."

"I don't know Castle, getting blackmailed can do crazy stuff to normal people." Esposito countered.

"Granted, but I have known Bricks almost my whole life. There were quite a few years that he and I were thick as thieves. I would think that it would be more likely that he would buy the Star and have Eric fired than for him to want to kill him. Bricks hates a mess and killing Eric with a knife in the back, would be very messy."

"Esposito, why don't you take Mr. Person of Interest here and go through the rest of the files and see if he can add any insight to our Blackmail Victims and see if he thinks any of them are Killer material." Kate said.

"What are you going to do?" Castle asked.

"I am going to set up interviews with our three newest Blackmailees. Where is Ryan by the way?'

"Right here boss." Ryan said breathlessly

"Where have you been?" Kate asked.

"Well, while we were finishing up at the Victims apartment, Roxy Blue called from the Waldorf. She was reporting a break in at her hotel room. Someone broke into the room tossed the place looking for… I don't know…Something. The Perp roughed her up and when she ran into the bathroom, proceeded to carve 'Die Bitch' and 'Give Me What I Want' into the door of the bathroom. CSU has taken evidence from the room and some Uni's were standing guard but she said that she wouldn't leave the bathroom until I came to make sure everything was okay."

Kate grinned. "So Ryan since when were you into Badge Bunnies?"

"Hey!" Ryan exclaimed."She was really scared. I took me quite awhile to get her calm enough to get out of there. Anyway she is sitting in the break room having a cup of tea."

"So did she get a good look at the Skell?" Esposito asked.

"No, she was pretty shaken up and the guy was wearing a ski mask or something like that. She has a pretty nasty bruise on her cheek from where he hit her, but no trace evidence. Hopefully once she calms down she will remember something."

"We'll let you do the interrogation on her, when she's ready. I am sure she will be very cooperative for her White Knight." Kate laughed.

"So where do you keep your 'Fine Arab Charger' Here in New York with the mounted patrol or maybe up in the Hamptons where you can go visit on the weekends?" Castle asked trying to do an imitation of Mick Jagger singing "Emotional Rescue".

Kate, Esposito and Castle cackled as Ryan blushed.

**A/N:** Well the last chapter (18) was very difficult to write. It was like pulling teeth. This one was much easier :). It is in the process of dumping over a foot of snow on us, here on the East Coast, So Happy Holidays Everybody. See you back here soon : **D. **


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N: **I want to wish everyone a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. I hope you will consider this a gift to you, for surely you reading this and hopefully enjoying this is your gift to me. ENJOY!!!!

**XX  
The Waldorf  
Kate and Richard**

Kate stood staring at the door to Castle's room. It was after 2 am and the detective had finally gotten through the initial interviews of the guests and had scheduled secondary interviews with their 'persons of interest' for the following day. Kate had made sure that Esposito and Ryan were letting the case go for the night. Kevin had arranged a safe house for Roxy and was in route with the frazzled floozy to play knight protector with her. Esposito had said good night to Lanie and gone off to where ever bachelors go after partying. Now she was standing in front of Castle' room debating on whether to knock or go to her room and just go to bed The pictures that the Captain had shown her had rattled her and were causing her to rethink her relationship with the author. She felt that she and Richard were matched; some would say soul mates, while others would say they were destined to be together. She did not know if such things existed but she could feel the power of their connection. She did not know if she could deal with the aftermath of whatever it was they were in. Her fear of being lost in the wave of unwanted publicity was palpable. Rick had told her that they would not be able to keep their relationship a secret, but she had not expected to be the focus of blackmail. Before she could make up her mind on whether to knock or leave a very haggard looking Castle opened the door. It looked like he had not slept in days, the dark circles under his eyes were very pronounced and his eyes were bloodshot and puffy. Without another thought she went inside.

"You look like you haven't slept in months."

"I love you too." Castle sighed.

Kate led him over to the couch and pulled him down. After a little resistance he fell onto the couch. She scrutinized his face. He was a very good poker player so he was difficult to read but Kate could see the toll that the whole affair was taking on Rick. He couldn't summon the energy to hide behind his bravado.

"I 'm sorry" was all he said.

"Sorry, for what?" Kate queried.

"I didn't tell you about Eric trying to blackmail me."

"What! When?"

"A couple of weeks or so ago he came to the apartment. It was under the pretext of burying the hatchet. He called, said that he was sorry for the story he had run about me and he wanted to take me out to lunch. He made it sound all very plausible. He said that he had been duped into believing that the photos were real. I mean back when we were friends; we had talked about the most outrageous stunts we would pull if we ever got famous. One of mine was to make out in central park with a hot looking woman…. Anyway once we started lunch he showed me the photos and suggested that I could quell the story with a good word at Black Pawn. I didn't that the ungrateful little weasel would try to double dip with the Police Department."

"How could he possibly have thought that he could get away with trying to blackmail the Police?" Kate asked.

"Well it has been done before, not since prohibition, but it has been done…. That was one of the other things we used to do, study the history of crime in New York."

"And you didn't think to tell me about this little escapade?"

"Well, in my defense it was on the same day as my first episode, but I remembered it earlier this evening. It's no excuse but, I have been pretty stressed out today."

"Richard…."Kate started to give him some acerbic comments, but she could tell that he was being honest with her. Somewhat late, but none the less he was being honest. "Look, I understand the fact that you are used to dealing with these things by yourself…. Wait a minute, how did you know about the Pictures at the Precinct?"

"Captain Montgomery called after he talked to you, to let me know about the pictures and to see if I had known about them….. Before you ask, I did tell Montgomery about Eric's little subplot. I may be a Wise-ass but I'm not a Dumb-ass." Castle gave a half hearted grin

"Ok, that's good…. As I was saying you have got to come to me with these little side adventures. I need to know about them so we can deal with these things together."

"Well, I certainly hope we don't have any more of that type of side adventures, but I understand you meaning. Any, hey, I was telling you about it now."

"Yes you were."

"I am happy that you are thinking about us, with a capital U." Rick leaned over and tasted her lips.

Beckett was taken a little off guard by the sudden gesture but soon she was melting into the kiss. Her hands slid up under his unbuttoned shirt and pressed up against his chest. He felt solid and warm and full of the promise of passion. She knew that it would be very easy to just let go. So easy to throw all of her barriers down and let him in to her, both physically and metaphorically. Her mind slipped sideways into the realm of conjecture. She knew Richards talked a good game, if the kisses he gave her were any indication she knew he would be a phenomenal lover. The thought of them making love filled her head; it was as if she could visualize the scene as if it had already been played out. They would be the perfect complement to each other. They would bring the fierce beast of lust out in each other. Her hand with a will of its own had begun to slide up his inner thigh fully intent on starting the act which would culminate in their bodies intertwined and her first taste of the forbidden fruit which was Richard Castle. His hand grabbing hers halted the fantasy.

"I'm ready Richard. I want this." Kate panted.

"I know Kate, I want this too, but right now I can't… It's not physical… I am just too messed up right now. All the stress… I want our first time to be memorable… Top Ten. I just can't give that to you now. You cannot believe how I hate myself right now."

"Top Ten?"

"I want our first time to be one of the top ten best times you have had sex. I would love it to be the best time that you made love, but I realize logically that it really wouldn't be possible, because that takes a lot of tries. I am willing to give it those tries, believe me, but if we went to bed now, I would be selfish and it would just be sex, I never want it to be just sex with you."

Kate was astonished that he had the presence of mind to understand the situation. Kate's hormones were about as raging as she ever got. The intensity of the passion she felt had made her heady and thrown her into the vortex of her lust for the man beside her. The fact that he was more right than he knew didn't stop the ache that her body was producing right now. She wanted him. She wanted him in her. He couldn't know that for her it would have been just sex as well. A thought pierced her lust hazed mind and it was like a cold shower. She was acting like what she assumed Castle was like, all for the fun. That he was being the one that was exercising the intelligence and she was the one being ruled by her lust was not lost on her. She pulled her hand away from his thigh and pulled back. She saw a look of panic fill his eyes. She leaned in and kissed him again. This time she did not allow herself to be drawn into the vortex again. They could wait awhile longer. Not too much longer but they could wait awhile longer.

"I'm not going anywhere Richard. I am in this for the long haul." She assured him and realized that she meant every word. She was committing herself to him. She thought somewhat wryly that all they needed was a promise ring and they would be completely acting like a couple of teenagers. She found herself realizing that it was okay to act like a teenager, maybe the first time since her mother had died, it would be okay… safe even, to act like a love struck teenager. She had been so intent on Rick's journey back to mental health, that she did not even realize that he was helping her heal as well.

"Sometimes you astound me, Richard. How can you be so perceptive at a time like this?"

"My ego wants to kick me in the balls for turning your very persuasive offer down, believe me, but I really want the timing to be right. I am scared that if it's not right that I will lose you, and I am honest enough with myself and you that I don't want that to happen."

"Okay if you were truly lousy in bed I might just leave," she joked then smiled, "but I know that's not going to be the case, my body is telling me that we are going to be phenomenal together."

"Well there you have it; my ego and your lust are in perfect agreement."

**A/N:** I apologize for the shortness but the fact that i have had to dig out of 24 inches of snow this week plus it being Christmas week and having to work for a living has just "plum tuckered me out" as some of my Virginia brethren might say (by now you should be able to tell I am a bit punchy). If this is incoherent then please forgive me. In all honesty this is probably the last update that I will be able to do.... until the new year. So Peace and Happy Holidays to one and to all. I have a piece of Christmas Castle fic that i may try to put to pen next week but it will certainly depend on me getting some much needed rest before then. Peace out!!!


	21. Chapter 21

**A/N:** I want to apologize for a few things here. First is the time it has taken me to write this chapter. For various reasonsI have been staring at a blank page for a couple of days. Second I want to beg you forgiveness for the shortness of this chapter. It is sort of a transitional chapter. And lastly please forgive the grammar and typos. Otherwise Enjoy!!!

**XXI  
The Waldorf  
Kate & Richard**

Kate woke and at first did not realize where she was. It took several moments for her brain to feed het the significant facts. She was in one of the bedrooms in Castle's suite. She and Richard had talked late into the night, well really the early morning. It had been a quiet time; they had been sitting on the love seat, exchanging confidences. She had shared some of her child memories. Pleasant experiences, mostly about her grade school. He spoke of his attempts as a young child to deal with life as the son of a very poplar Actress. Kate got the sense that Castle was being slightly melancholy, but not overtly depressed. She promised herself that at some point she would invite Martha to lunch and get the scoop on Castle as a child. The tantalizing tidbits she had gotten had caused her curiosity to go into overdrive. Kate looked around the room and decided that she wished that Rick had chosen to sleep in the same bed. She could have used his company. Outside the sky was a dirty gray with the promise of impending rain.

Richard stared up at the ceiling of his room. It's off white color reminded him of the ceiling of his hospital room. While he did not smell the antiseptic and bleach here in his hotel room his nose seemed to catch a ghostly whiff of those smells that he became so used to while he was convalescing at Mercy Hospital. He felt a twinge in his chest and automatically reached up to touch his scar. His mind drifted, as it always seemed to, onto his obsession Detective Kate Beckett. She dominated his thoughts, whether it was his dreams at night or his fantasies during the day. Initially she was truly just his inspiration for a new character but now she was so much more. She spoke to his soul. They were heading into territory that he had only rarely ventured into. He had not been in a serious, committed relationship since college. He had loved Meredith when he married her but he truthfully could not say that it had been serious. He did not know if she was even capable of serious. She had the Hollywood mentality down to an art, the green screen; everything is smoke and magic with no real substance. Meredith could 'act' serious but she was not serious. Kate on the other hand was serious, deadly serious at times. He felt so captivated by her siren's song that he seemed lost without it. He had walked a fine line all of his life between the fluffy celebrity life and actually working for a living. Admittedly he strayed into fluff more than he tried to keep it real, but he knew both sides. Since he had been around his auburn haired Detective he had stayed on the serious side, well as much as he could. He sighed and looked at the empty side of the bed and wished that she had chosen this bed to sleep in.

Kate's musings were interrupted by a call from Esposito. They had been able to pull Benny into the Precinct and he was waiting for Kate to come and interrogate him. Max and Miles were scheduled to come in the afternoon. Kate inquired about Ryan and Roxy.

Esposito chuckled. "Ryan didn't get a whole lot of sleep last night. It seems that Roxy was having nightmares about her assailant, so he was awake trying to keep her calm."

"Make sure that he brings her in today. I want to talk to her about the attack. It's not that Ryan isn't a good interrogator, but I think he might have been a little distracted. "

"I'll make sure he knows." Esposito promised.

Kate reluctantly got up. She was still exhausted from the late night they had. She slowly began to dress. She looked at the dress in the closet and sighed. It was such a beautiful dress and just like the six bridesmaid dress in her closet she would probably never wear it again. She smiled when she thought of the look on Castle's face last night when he had first seen her dressed in the gown.

"You know, you just have to say the word and I'll throw another party, so you can wear the dress again." Castle said from the doorway.

Kate jumped, not realizing that Richard had snuck into her room. "You know I could have been naked or in the process of dressing." She suppressed a shiver at the thought of Rick's gaze on her naked body.

"If you had called me earlier I would have been glad to watch. I just like any testosterone laden male, love to watch the naked female body."

"Castle!" Kate felt a blush creep up her neck and into her cheeks." That's enough. I have to go into work. I am going to re-interview Benny this morning…."

"You mean interrogate." Castle interrupted

"Have it your way… So please Castle stay away from the Precinct until after I'm done. You can come in the afternoon and help with Max and Miles but I think you should stay away while I am interviewing Benny." Kate pleaded.

"He didn't do it, Kate, but you will see that after you talk to him. I will cede to your wishes. I have to settle with the hotel anyway." He said looking very haggard.

"Pardon my French, but you look like shit."

"It always brightens my day to hear French spoken so fluently. I didn't sleep at all last night, except for those few minutes that we fell asleep together on the couch."

"Why not?" Kate asked.

"My mind wouldn't stop churning. With all the stress from yesterday I just couldn't close my eyes."

"Well I'll come over tonight after work, unless we break the case, and we can crash on the couch by the fireplace. That is if that would help."

"A night of passion would be better… But I guess a couch cuddle would be good too."

Kate smiled and moved over toward the door of the room where Castle stood. From behind his back Castle pulled a Grande coffee, the way Kate liked it. She took a sip and kissed him on the cheek.

"I hope Randy the Concierge got you coffee, correct."

"Perfect, I was wondering how you got a coffee while still in you bathrobe." Kate added "However given your lack of modesty, I guess anything is possible."

"Touché, Detective, Touché. However if my little gifts are not appreciated, I will discontinue using them as a wooing device." Richard said smiling tiredly.

"Oh no," Kate quickly amended," Please woo to your heart's content."

Kate moved past Castle and moved toward the door. She stopped and turned around

"Richard, I want you to know that I really do appreciate all the things you do."

"Even riding naked through the park on a borrowed Police horse?" Richard smirked.

"Well, no. What I mean is I appreciate all you have done for me. Riding through the park naked wasn't something you did for me."

"I understand, Kate. I would go to Hell and back for either you or Alexis. I think that I don't do enough for the two of you. I want to give you the world, Kate. That is if you would let me."

"I understand, but I just am not used to all of this. Please you have to give me time to adjust…. I'll see you this afternoon" with that she left the suite.

Richard stared after the exiting Detective. He sighed and mentally kicked himself yet again for his rejection of Kate's advances last night. The real reason that he did not get any sleep the night before was that his libido was so revved up that his mind was at war. Intellectually he understood that the decision not to take her to bed was the correct one. He wanted to be on his 'A' game when they finally did make love, but that didn't stop him from castigating himself for the missed opportunity. He closed his eyes and leaned against the wall, trying to draw strength from the essence of the old hotel. The details of the crime began to unravel in his mind. He realized that he was not going to get any sleep this morning. Sighing he moved toward the shower and his clothes. If he wasn't going to get any sleep he might as well get over to the Precinct and hear what their suspect had to say….

**A/N:** I wish to thank you all for your kind words. To Shinylane1.2 and Sparrow33 your Reviews humble me. I write for my own enjoyment and when I hear that my scribbles speak to others it really touches my heart and makes me want to write even better. Thanks to you and everyone reads my ramblings. Your alerts, favorites, and reviews are very much appreciated.


	22. Chapter 22

**A/N: **It has been a bizarre few days. Hopefully the craziness is over with and I can get back to updating very other day or so. As always forgive the typos and grammatical mistakes. Enjoy!!!!

**XXII  
****The Precinct  
****Kate et al**

Kate entered the 12th precinct ready to start her interview with Benjamin Smythe. She was somewhat taken aback to find him in the center of the Bullpen awaiting her and not in the interrogation room. He held a box of pastries and was talking to Ryan and Esposito. She strode purposefully toward the tro. She was getting the same vibe from the group as she did when Castle was around.

"Good morning Detective." Bricks bellowed. "Pastry?"

"Good Morning Mr. Smythe." Kate returned. "No, thank you. We need to go on into the interview room." She indicated the interrogation room.

"What, have I been a bad boy?" Bricks joked moving toward the indicated room.

Kate settled into her normal chair and watched as Benny sat down before her. She tried to read his body language but was having difficulty. She was used to hardened criminals and not socialites. He did seem a bit nervous but over all had an air of a spoiled rich blue blood.

"Alright Mr. Smythe, let's start at the beginning, exactly what was your relationship to the deceased?"

"At what point in time? When were in grade school we were close friends. As were entered Junior High School he had a falling out with Ricky and we became estranged and when, as an adult, he tried to black mail me, well let's just say relations were quite strained."

"So you admit he was trying to blackmail you." Kate declared.

"There seems little point in denying it. I am sure if you did not know about it, you would not have called me in. The little snot called me up a few weeks ago told me that he had pictures of a liaison of mine. We met. He showed me the pictures and told me it would cost two million dollars for the pictures to disappear. He had me over the proverbial barrel. I was going to pay him the money. At the moment I am in some business deals with some Russian and Italian Businessmen, if the pictures got leaked it would cost me hundreds of millions of dollars, so two million dollars was a small price to pay."

"And you had no thoughts of retribution?" Kate inquired.

"Why of course there was going to be retribution. Once I obtained the evidence I was going to buy the Star and then can the bastard. I was going to rain retribution down upon him. I would also make sure he never worked in this city again." Benny declared.

"Alright, where were you at the time of Browning's death?"

Bricks looked pensive. He stared at Kate for a moment and appeared to come to a decision. He took out a business card and wrote a name and number on it. He again seemed to wrestle with some internal demons and then passed the card to Beckett.

"I trust you will be discreet. I was either in the Ballroom or in my hotel room '_chatting_' with the person on the card. If word of that gets out he and I could both be ruined."

Kate looked at the name on the card and blanched. The name on the card was a well known one, a junior State Senator.

"The NYPD doesn't leak information… Well let me put it this way. My team doesn't leak information, and this will stay just between the three of us."

"I trust you Kate. Richard would not be so enamored with you if you were the type to kiss and tell. Ricky may act the buffoon, but he is a excellent judge of character. If you were not the discreet type, he probably have very little to do with you, even though you are the gorgeous creature that you are."

"Thanks. I think?"

"Oh, you can trust me Kate. There was this one girl that chased after him all of our junior year in High School. She was a senior, absolutely drop dead beautiful, and she pursued Ricky with a single mindedness that bordered on stalking"

"Really?" Kate said. She was surprised at the twinge of jealousy that twisted in her stomach.

"Oh yes, It became an amusement for Richard's friends, to see the lengths she would go to, all to catch Ricky. I don't know if he has ever told you but he was quite the swimmer in high school. He was even scouted by some Colleges. After swim team practice every day he would stay and swim laps for another hour or so. I can't remember which Academy we were at, we moved around so, but I do remember that we were at an all male school. Anyway this girl actually paid a security guard off so she could slip in to the gym and try to entice our young hero into a little risqué business. She entered the pool as naked as the day she was born. When Rick saw her he almost walked on water to get out of there. When I asked him later why he had declined her obvious invitation, he did have the reputation as a teenage Lothario at the time, he said that he not want to be the latest conquest of a rumor monger. The next year we heard that she had been kicked out of Yale for sleeping with the Dean of the Art Department. Last I heard of her she was an unwed mother living in Queens. Her parents, who were not that wealthy, but well to do, had disowned her. I think that somehow Ricky knew that she was a gold digger, and wanted no part of it. I know of only twice that his instincts failed him. Once when were in Middle School, which is a tale for another time, and again when he married His second wife, but by then I don't think he cared."

"Why wouldn't he have cared?" Kate couldn't help but ask.

"That was really a down period in his life. I don't think that he had quite gotten over the dissolution of his marriage to Meredith. I am sure you have noticed that there are times when Ricky can be overly sensitive about things. In truth Gina was ever the opportunist, she took advantage of Richard and basically corralled him into marriage. I know Ricky was very unhappy while he was married to Gina. He did everything short of being unfaithful to get her to file for Divorce. Actually I don't think he pulled out of his funk until he met you."

"He didn't seem to be depressed when I met him."

"Ah, but he was having dreadful writer's block, and Ricky only has writer's block when he is depressed. I think part of the reason he killed off Derek was because he was so blue. You've known him for almost year now, detective; you should know how well he can hide what he feels."

"Kate could think of several times since she had know Castle when she had no clue as to how the author was feeling. She realized the Bricks had effectively shifted the conversation off of his alibi and onto Rick. She bristled when she realized that she was being played.

"Look Benny, we are not here to talk about Richard. We are here to talk about Mr. Browning and whether you killed him or not."

"I know Detective, and I apologize that we got off on a tangent. It is my fault, but I did not kill Eric. Please check my alibi." Bricks pleaded.

"We will check the alibi and if we find out that you have been untruthful we will arrest you."

"I quite understand Detective. Do you have any other questions for me?"

"Not at this time…. But please don't go anywhere."

"I will not leave the City and shall make myself available to you whenever you need to talk to me."

Benjamin got up, shook Kate's hand and made his way out. Kate felt tired. She had not gotten much sleep the night before, and trying to interrogate Benny had left her feeling flat. She went into the observation room and was miffed to see that Castle had joined a recently arrived Kevin and Javier. To the Author's credit he did not try to plead Brick's case. She avoided looking at Rick but focused on the two detectives.

"So, what do you two think?" Kate asked.

"I don't think he looks good for the murder." Ryan stated. "He didn't seem to have that undercurrent of anger that a lot of killer's do. Besides he did furnish an alibi. From the look on your face it is a pretty big fish."

"Yeah, and if he is telling the truth about the Financials then two mil is just chump change, considering the business deals he says that he has in place." Esposito added

"Bricks is a financial wizard for his family. I think he has doubled his family's net worth since he took over the money aspects of the Family business." Castle added.

"I thought I told you to stay away while I interviewed Benny."

"I didn't intrude on the interview. I stayed here in the observation room and did not say a word" Castle said.

"It's true," Javier stated, "it looked like he was about to explode at any second, but he didn't say a word."

Ryan and Esposito looked at each other and then looked at Beckett and Castle. An odd expression crept across their faces. They hastily exited the observation room after getting the name and number of Bricks alibi. Both Ryan and Esposito look a trifle shocked to see the name written on Benny's card. They knew that the utmost discretion would be needed when talking to Brick's paramour. After they left Beckett moved over to the door and locked it, afterward she moved back over to Castle. He raised an eyebrow but said nothing.

"Castle I understand the urge to protect your friends and your feelings are admirable, but you shouldn't have been here while I was interviewing Bricks." Kate said softly.

"My first instinct was to make sure he got a lawyer, but I know he didn't kill Eric. My second was to be in there at your side to try and mitigate your interrogation, but I didn't do that either. Instead I chose to sit quietly in the observation room and wait to see if you needed any follow up information. Bricks is a close friend so I know a lot about him and his family…"

"Richard, wanting to protect a friend is okay but not a good thing in this case."

"Hey, I didn't do squat." Castle protested.

Kate found herself looking into Richard's face, up close, for the first time that day. When they had talked in the morning, she was too busy getting ready and thinking about her day to pay any detailed attention to the extent of his depleted physical state. She had seen the general look of fatigue that morning but had not looked any further. Now that she was looking she could see the dark circles under his eyes were deeply accentuated. His expression was gaunt and his skin had a gray tinge. She could tell that he was here and standing next to her by sheer force of will. He swayed slightly as he stood watching her. Her heart went out to him. She reminded herself that he had been on deaths door in the not too distant past and unless he began to take care of himself better he was going to land back in the hospital.

She decided to take and unorthodox approach to the problem. She reached up and pulled him down into a kiss. She could taste the slightly bitter, slightly sweet flavor of coffee. She deepened the kiss. She could fell him respond as she pulled him as close as she dared. Her kiss was full of the promise that soon their enforced celibacy would end. Despite her best intentions she lost herself in the kiss. His fatigue caught up to him and he staggered, breaking the spell.

"Rick I want you to go into the break room and stretch out on the couch until the next interview. You are about to pass out from fatigue."

"Kate, I'm good…" Castle started to object.

"No as a matter of fact you aren't. You had an exhausting day yesterday and no sleep last night. If you don't start getting rest soon you are going to end up back in the hospital. If you won't do it for yourself, will you do it for me? When I come over tonight I don't want to just watch you sleep. If we are going to couch cuddle, I would like it if you were at least cogent at the beginning. And I want you alert when I interview Max and Miles. You usually are able to catch things that I miss and I have come to depend on that."

"I just need a cup of coffee…"

"Richard… Please…." Kate begged.

"Well alright." Castle gave in.

Kate gave him another kiss and walked toward the door. When she pulled it open she Esposito and Ryan standing there. They both looked mischievous.

"You know," Ryan said," What it means when Mommy and Daddy lock the door?"

"No Bro' what does it means?' Esposito grinned

"It means that either Mommy and Daddy are arguing or they are having sex."

"Don't you two have anything better to do?" Kate shot back trying not to blush.

"We got a hold of Benny's friend, and it checks out. Bricks' alibi is solid." Ryan said.

"Oh," Kate said relieved. "Good." She looked back and saw Castle leaning up against the wall. "Can you guys get Castle into the break room and make sure he lies down on the couch?"

"Sure, Mom. You know you really shouldn't wear Dad out like that."

"Cut the crap. Make sure he lied down until our next interviewee comes in."


	23. Chapter 23

**A/N: **Okay I have officially had the month from Hell. Not only had "Real Life" been a Buzz Kill but my computer had a minor hardware glitch (READ Massive Hardware Meltdown) so the four or so chapters I was working on just went poof into the ether. So aside from being very depressed about life in general I was "upset" at the loss of my work. I am afraid that for a little while my language was NC-17. But I am back and will try to trudge on.. (_Deep Sigh_). Forgiving the typos and grammar goes double because I am using word pad not Word because I have not yet gotten a chance to reinstall it. Lastly ENJOY!!!

**XXIII**

**The Precinct**

**Everybody**

Kate sat at her desk looking blankly toward the closed door to the break room. Esposito and Ryan had taken Castle in there about fifteen minutes ago and had closed the door. She would not put it past the trio to have started a poker game instead of making sure Rick got some sleep. Minutes later Esposito exited the room and sauntered over to Beckett.

"Out like a light." Esposito Confirmed. "Once he was out of your sight he got a lot more tractable. Apparently he feels the need to be butch in front of you."

"Thank Javier. I knew the two of you could put him to sleep." Kate quipped.

"Nice, Ryan is keeping watch to make sure Castle doesn't get disturbed."

"Why don't you pill up Browning's Financials. See if we can find anything hinky, maybe if we find the Blackmail payments, we can find someone with enough incentive to kill him."

"On it." Esposito promised.

Kate was about to start calling Browning's work associates when her phone rang."

"Beckett." She stated.

"Kate, it me… Alexis." Castle's daughter said, unnecessarily.

"Hey Alexis, What's up?"

"Just sort of calling about Dad, to see if he's alright." Alexis replied.

"He is his usual stubborn self." Kate had to smile at the concern in Alexis' voice. "Right now Ryan is sitting on him, making him sleep. Your Dad didn't get much sleep last night. Apparently he was too agitated after Eric's death."

"Well he was an old friend of Dads… or Enemy… I guess. I had another reason to call though. I was hoping to entice you into coming over for dinner tonight. Grams and I are making Chicken Alfredo for dinner and hoped that you would honor us with your presence."

"As a matter of fact I had already promised to come over tonight Chicken Alfredo sounds lovely." Kate said.

"That's great. Dinner should be ready when the two of you get home, but if the case gets… involved, just give us a call and we can keep it warm."

"Thanks, Alexis, one of us will call if the case starts to break. Say, Alexis how are you holding up?" Beckett asked.

There was a pregnant pause on the line. Beckett could almost feel the roiling emotions of Castle's daughter through the phone. She knew that Alexis worried about her father almost as much as Castle doted on his daughter.

"I.... uh..." Alexis' voice was thick with emotion. "Okay I guess?"

"Alexis you don't have to put on a brave face for me. There is no possible way I would think any less of you, if you were having problems with this case. I'm the trained Police Detective. You are still just a teenager. I don't expect you to deal with this, without some difficulty." Kate said soothingly.

"It's just been so much to take in. first Dad is a suspect and then he isn't. This guy was suppose to be Dad's old friend from High School, but he was trying to blackmail Dad. And Dad is getting all wonky when he is in crowds....." her voice broke as she could not stifle a sob.

"Alexis, I wish I were there right now.... Look why don't you come meet me for a quick lunch. With your Dad asleep in the break room, I find myself one short for lunch."

"Oh, no I don't want to be a bother..." Alexis stammered

"Look Alexis, your a friend, not just your Dad's daughter Meet me at Rossi's in about a half hour."

**###**

**Rossi's Restaurant**

**Kate and Alexis**

Rossi's was a Bistro about five blocks from the precinct. Kate had picked it because it was close for both Her and Alexis and it was far enough away from the Precinct that they would not be interrupted by people form work. It was precisely thirty minutes later that Alexis walked through the door. Kate has chosen a table in a quiet corner of the restaurant. Kate took the time it took the waiter to escort Alexis to the table to observe the teen's emotional state. While Alexis was impeccably dressed as was her usual, there were the tell tale signs that Alexis was having a difficult time dealing with all she had been through in the last couple of months. Her eyes were red and a little puffy and Alexis was using make up to cover dark circles under her eyes. Without a second thought Kate stood up and enfolded Alexis in a hug. It had not been so long ago that Kate had not been used to this kind of intimate contact. Sure she and Lanie were best friends and they did share the occasional platonic hug, there was a deep love that she held for Castle and by extension to his extraordinary daughter. She felt Alexis shudder and then relax as a single sob escaped from the mature teen.

"It's okay Alexis, let it out if you need to" Kate whispered reassuringly.

Alexis clung to Kate to keep from drowning in her fear and grief. The pair stood enwrapped in their embrace until Alexis has regained her composure. As they sat Alexis offered Kate a grateful, sad smile.

"Thanks Kate, you don't know what it means to me to have you as a friend."

"Hey, this goes both ways. We have been there for each other since you dad got shot. I would be a very poor friend if I was to abandon you when you were having troubles."

"I know, but you have my Dad to contend with. I don't want to be an extra burden." Alexis said guiltily.

"Don't worry about me, Alexis, I've got very broad shoulders." Kate quipped and was rewarded with a brief smile. "Besides I have Ryan and Esposito to help with your Dad."

I'm glad that they're willing to help."

"As hard as it is to admit, we all feel that your Dad is part of our team. I am more worried about you, right now. You dad is beginning to show some signs of recovery. You on the other hand seem to feel the need to hide what you are going through."

"It's just that I don't want to be a burden. Dad was the one who got shot. I haven't had any problems other than the usual teenage ones, that is."

"Alexis what happened to your Dad is sort of like what happened to my Dad after my mother died… I'm not saying this right… I don't want to equate my Dad's alcoholism to your Dad getting shot. But difficulties like what our fathers experienced don't just effect the person, they effect the whole family. Rick has to deal with the injury but you and Martha had to deal with the event. Think about how stressed out you were trying to deal with all the emotions that were racing through you when you Dad was in surgery. Those feelings have to be confronted. Don't make the mistake of feeling guilty for how you reacted and what you felt while your Dad was at death's door."

"Are you sure you are not a Mom, 'cause that certainly sound like one." Alexis said blushing, hoping that she was not out of bounds.

"No Alexis, no children," Kate smiled and took the statement as a compliment. "But I am a survivor so I know what I am talking about."

Alexis let her mind briefly imagine what it would have been like to have Kate as a mother. She found that she really like the idea. Her emotions were conflicted her desire to be close to Kate clashed with her feelings for her mother. Could her love them both and want to be like a daughter to Kate? With all that had happened and all she was feeling be could not hold it in anymore and began to cry.

Kate watched in awe as she saw the warring emotions flit across Alexis' face. Because Rick's daughter was so poised and mature, Kate sometimes found it hard to keep the fact that Alexis was still just a teenager in mind. She had no idea what thoughts were unreeling in Alexis' mind but she knew that her young friend was at a crisis point and waited for Alexis to unburden herself, if she felt the need. When she saw the first tears fall from Alexis' eyes, she again reached out to comfort Rick's daughter.

"I feel so guilty." Alexis sobbed.

"Guilty?"

"Want right do I have to have issues? I haven't been shot. I'm just a kid."

"Alexis, Honey, Just because you haven't been wounded doesn't mean that you don't have a right to having issues." Kate said in an effort to comfort her friend. "Just one look at who your Dad is and you should give you a free pass, when it comes issues."

"Sometimes I feel like it is up to me to keep my Dad from screwing up"

"Sweetie, trust me on this, you Dad is responsible for his own behavior. It's not your place to have to pick up after your Dad."

"Intellectually I know that," Alexis sniffed. "But my Dad can be such a lump sometimes."

Kate chuckled." It's not just your Dad, but all men. Isn't Owen a lump too? And to be fair women have their moments as well. It's part of being human."

"But that's a women's prerogative, isn't it?" Alexis asked, taking a Kleenex to wipe her eyes. "I don't know what I would do without you Kate. I don't think I could have survived these last few months if I didn't have you too lean on."

"That's sweet of you to say but you could have gotten through it on you own or you could have talked to your Grandmother or maybe one of your friends at school. You would have found someone you could talk this through."

"I'm glad it was you, Kate"

"I'm glad too. Getting to know you has definitely been one of the perks of knowing your Dad."

The waiter come over to take their order. Kate thought that she would have to tip him rather well because he had waited until she had calmed Alexis down before coming over. Kate was also glad to see that Alexis still had an apatite even with her emotional state.

"So, Alexis, Tell me how are Conrad and Nadia doing…."

**A/N:** I'm back and while I probably won't post every other day I should be able to post regularly now that my hardware issues have been resolved. Hopefully (crosses fingers and toes) D.


	24. Chapter 24

**A/N:** This is a quick thank you to all the Readers. I always appreciate the feedback. It is for all of you that I write. As always try to ignore the typos and grammatical errors. Enjoy!!!!

**Chapter 24**

**The Precinct**

**Ryan**

Ryan was on the proverbial horns of a Dilemma with a capital D. Never in his life had he been faced with a veritable glut of women. On one hand there was Jennifer, faithful, funny, and pretty. On the other was Roxy, drop dead gorgeous, flighty, and incredibly sexy. He had never met two women so diametrically opposed to one another. He was the one chasing Jennifer while Roxy certainly seemed to be chasing him. Jennifer was predictable while Roxy chaos personified. He had just had to cancel his dinner plans with Jen because he was going to be keeping Roxy from harm from the unknown assailant again tonight. While Jennifer had been a little disappointed, she had understood his need to work. Roxy on the other hand had sounded very possessive when Ryan had explained that he had to call Jenifer to break their date. Ryan knew he was juggling fire when it came to the two women. How could he choose between the two and not get killed in the process by the other? His pondering of his conundrum was interrupted by his phone. A check of the caller ID showed that it was Javier.

"What's up dude?" Ryan asked.

"Yo, Ryan, you uh.. busy?"

"No man I am just sitting here waiting for the Uni's to get back with Roxy from her apartment. She had to go get some clothes for her stay at the safe house. From what the patrolmen said her place looked like it had been searched. Some of the lab boys are going to be going over there to see if they can get any prints. Where are you?"

"I'm back at Browning's. While the lab rats were doing their thing they found some more evidence. The scumbag had a camera hidden in a vent in his bedroom. Apparently he liked to take home movies. There was also a USB thumb drive and some digital tapes. Dude, your girl is really messed up."

"My girl? Jenny?"

"No bro it's Roxy… Look I'm going to bring the evidence in so you can see what's what." Esposito sounded somewhat sad.

"Okay man, see you in a few." Ryan replied.

Ryan wondered what could make Esposito sound so glum. Did they find evidence that Roxy was helping Browning with his blackmail scams? A quick call to the patrolmen escorting Roxy found that they were still at her apartment waiting for the CSU team and they were allowing Roxy the chance to look to see if anything had been taken. Ryan got up and checked to see if Castle was still asleep and fount the author still asleep. Checking in the bullpen found that Beckett was still at lunch. Ryan sat down at his desk and pulled the case file out and began to read through the interviews. Might as well get something done, he thought.

Before Castle woke up or Beckett returned from lunch Esposito came back in. He wordlessly handed Ryan a sub from the Deli around the corner. Ryan raised an eyebrow. It must be bad news if Javier was buying him food. Ryan imagined all types of scenarios that would call for some good old comfort food.

"Alright Dude, you are seriously weirding me out here. What is so bad?"

"Look Bro I know you are kind of hung up on Roxy, but like I said on the phone she is seriously messed up." Esposito paused, looked at Ryan and then went on. "It seems that Roxy was not a willing 'Friend with Benefits'. On the thumb drive we found a blackmail file on Roxy. When she was the weather girl for a Nebraska News station, she did a little 'Girls Gone Wild' stuff. There were pictures and a scandal. She was required to go into a drug rehab as part of the court sentence. Her record was expunged after she successfully completed the Court Mandated rehab and counseling. Somehow Eric got his mitts on the case file and was using it to make Roxy be his girlfriend."

"That Bastard, if he wasn't already dead I would definitely put a hurtin' on him."

"I agree, he apparently taped all of their 'encounters' for later viewing. I saw a little of what appears to be their first time, and Bro she was not having a good time. He liked it rough. As a matter of fact some of the sex stuff he was into had to be illegal. At least in some states it is."

"Well she is out of that relationship now." Ryan stated.

"Yeah but you did not see the video, Bro. I have seen some sick shit in my time, especially when I was with Vice, but I'm telling you, dude, I had to look away it was so bad."

"Show me." Ryan steeled himself for the worst.

**Rossi's**

**Kate and Alexis**

"So there we were, already late for Dad's first Edgar Award Nomination Dinner. My Dad was in a rented Tux and I was in this beautiful jade green gown. We were crossing this little walled garden trying to save time when the sprinkler system cuts on. I tell you we had to be dead center of the saturation zone. Before we got to the gate we were absolutely drenched. My nice hairdo was wrecked and water was pouring off Dad in sheets…"

"Oh no!" Kate responded to Alexis' tale.

"You know Dad, undeterred marched us right up to the hotel and into the dinner. The ladies at our table were absolutely aghast. My Dad sat there with a straight face and wove the tale of the freak thunderstorm that caught us unawares. The ladies looked out the French doors that led out to the Patio and saw the clear sky and beautiful sunset and then back to Dad with incredulous looks on their faces. Of course, Murphy's Law, Dad won the Edgar and had to walk up and accept the award soaking wet. His shoes made this sort of bubbly, sucking and slurping sound as he walked. Our table was near the back of the room so he had to walk through the entire room, but he did it with a straight face and like there was absolutely nothing amiss. Fortunately his acceptance speech was in his inside coat pocket so that wasn't ruined."

"What I would have paid to see that." Kate exclaimed

"That was the night he met James Patterson for the first time. Needless to say Dad was a little worried about his first impression, but Mr. Patterson called the next week and invited Dad to his poker game, so all's well, I guess. When we got back to the apartment Dad took off one of his patent leather shoes and poured about half a glass of water out. The worst part came the next day. It wasn't just water that we got sprayed with; there were also chemical fertilizers or something because Dad's tux and my gown both had these ugly splotches."

"Oh that's horrible." Kate said but could not stifle a chuckle picturing Castle in a splotchy tux." I'm sorry Alexis but I can't help but picture you Dad in his ruined tux."

"That's okay Kate; enough time has passed that I can laugh about it. Truthfully it was funny at the time. I know you have been able to deduce by this time that I have my dad's sense of humor. It seems to be a genetic trait of my family to be able to laugh at ourselves. It had to be from my Dad's Dad 'cause you know Gram."

"True, your Grandmother is very serious." Kate agreed.

"I really want to thank you for letting me ramble but I don't want to keep you from working…."

"Alexis," Kate interrupted. "Until my phone rings letting me know that my next interview is at the station, I'm free and clear. Besides you are important to me. I want you to feel free to talk to me when you need to. I mean it, whenever you need to talk day or night, and it's something that your Dad can't help with, then by all means call me."

Alexis simply nodded. She was too emotional to find her voice. Mutely Alexis embraced Kate trying to express the gratitude she felt.

"Thank you." Alexis whispered, finally finding her voice.

**###**

**The Precinct**

**Ryan & Esposito**

Ryan came back to himself feeling pain. He remembered sitting down to watch some video of Roxy and Browning. He had thought that he has steeled himself for what he thought he would see, but it had been far worse than he had anticipated. Roxy had been the star and chief victim of what could only be called torture porn. Ryan was able to watch about five minutes before some circuit snapped off in his brain and he saw red. The pain that brought him back to himself emanated from his hands. He looked down puzzled. Blood was dripping down from split knuckles. He gradually became aware of Javier talking to him.

"Hey Kevin….. Earth to Ryan….. Bro can you hear me." Esposito shouted.

Ryan looked over at his best friend and partner stupefied. He blinked owlishly and tried to comprehend what he had just done. He had just tried to punch out a cinderblock wall. Two bloody smudges were the mute evidence of his foolishness. Ryan was astounded by the vehemence of his anger. It was not just that it was Roxy that this demon had been torturing, but that Browning had gotten away with it for a year. The scumbag had made a woman his slave and now he could not be brought to justice. His body still shaking with the after effects of his blind rage, Ryan tried to suppress his anger.

"I'm sorry you had to see this Bro. I did know that you would go all Conan the Barbarian on me. I guess Roxy kinda go to you, huh?"

"What that scumbag did to Roxy… No one should have to endure such treatment. As far as I'm concerned what happened to Browning was justifiable homicide."

"You know this means that Ms. Blue is now a suspect."

"Yeah I know" Ryan lamented.

**A/N:** More intrigue and Caskett


	25. Chapter 25

**A/N:**_ I wish to apologize to all the readers for being so long away. My real life has been difficult. I was laid off at work and I have been concentrating on finding a new job, Needless to say I have been in a rather bad head space for quite awhile. Hopefully I am beyond that now and will be able to continue to write. Please enjoy the chapter and forgive the typos and grammar, __**D.**_

**Chapter 25**

**The Precinct**

**Everybody**

Kate slumped down in her chair with a heavy sigh. The two editors had yielded nothing new. Both men did their best to exonerate themselves while pointing their fingers at each other. Both men had solid alibi's for the time of the killing. Max Weller did admit to a brief conversation with Browning but said that it had to do with the expose' he had wanted to do on Benjamin Smythe. It had been in front of witnesses just outside the ball room and after Browning had promised to show proof of the affair to Weller, before he broke the story, the two men had parted company Eric had told Weller he was going to bed and had left the party. Weller had returned to the Ball and did not leave again until after the police had interviewed him.

"We are running out of suspects" Esposito opined

"We must be missing somebody. Tell Ryan that we will need to talk to Roxy tomorrow morning. Maybe she can shed some light on Browning and who might have ransacked her room."

"I'll let him know, you might want to go easy on Roxy if Kevin is present. I believe our boy might be just a tad too emotionally connected. I believe that Roxy might be working her Mojo on Ryan. Have you seen the video we recovered from Browning apartment?"

"The torture porn? Yeah I watched as much as I could stand. I can't imagine the hell she went through. I think I'll give Doc Simmons a call, maybe he can shed some light on her emotional state."

"Probably not a bad idea, she has got to be royally whacked out from all the shit she has been put through."

"We'll call it a night and start fresh in the morning." Kate stated.

"You got it. I'll go relieve Ryan at the safe house. See you in the morning." Esposito said as he headed across the bullpen.

**Castle's Apartment**

**Kate, Rick, Alexis and Martha**

"Dinner was wonderful." Kate complimented Alexis and Martha.

"It was my Granddaughter's masterpiece rather than mine. My idea of cooking is Chinese Delivery." Martha confessed."Well since dinner is done and Alexis is upstairs already, I think it's time for me to retire upstairs and go over the new scene that just got added to the play."

Martha's exit was like the lady herself, grand. Kate sat down on the couch in front of the fireplace and waited impatiently for Richard to come back with the blanket. She did not have to wait long before he returned with a large fluffy and extremely cozy blanket. He gently spread the cover over both of them and sighed contentedly.

"Going to sleep already?" Kate teased.

"No, just enjoying life, right now. Besides, you know, 'knocking boots'… There is nothing better than a great meal and a good couch cuddle."

"Wow, I didn't know that you were so easy."

"Sssshhhh, please don't spread it around, everyone thinks I'm an intolerable bastard. If word gets out, not only will my rep be ruined, I'll have to contend with hundreds more women who think I should be their boy toy, as much fun as that sounds, I'm just too tired right now to deal with it." Rick confessed.

"Awww, you poor baby, I'll lend you my old police baton so you can beat them off with a stick." Kate supplied.

"You laugh now, but the next time we are out in public and I am mauled to death by rabid fan girls, you'll have no one to blame other than yourself."

"That brings up a good question…" Kate started a question

"I'm sorry Kate you will have to wait until we have been going steady for at least six months before I include you in my will."

"That's not what I was going to ask, Beefcake."

"Well what then?"

"I just want to be as prepared as possible, how long until you think we will be outed… you know as a couple."

"About as long as it takes us to go out on a real date. I mean the gossip columns have already been whispering about us already. The fact that we are only seen together while you are working has kept the whispered song from becoming an aria. I have talked with Paula, my agent about ways to handle the fallout. She has been waffling between 'just shoot me' and 'I'll handle it'. She is good at what she does and I pay her very well so she may be able to come up with something. Otherwise we will be on our own."

"That doesn't sound too encouraging." Kate remarked.

"Oh, we'll handle it fine. What I am afraid of is the attention getting so bad that I have to stop working with you."

"What do you mean?"

"You saw how bad the media was after my little painkiller and alcohol indiscretion. Think about seeing that every time you left the house. At first it is going to be overwhelming but it will die down and then Brad and Angie or Jen and whoever she is dating will do something note worthy then we will be golden. Once it is old news everything so go back to normal somewhat. So long as we give them an opportunity to photograph us during red carpets or at charity galas the press shouldn't go all Princess Diana on us."

"That still doesn't sound very hopeful." Kate lamented.

"Relax Kate, that problem is still sometime in the future, as long as we are not overtly out on a date. Meaning that we keep our heads down and don't hit the swankier restaurants and clubs we should be fine."

"Maybe not, Browning caught us. What's to keep some other reporter from stalking us?"

"Eric was a special case. He was looking for blackmail material. He probably had been sitting outside my building for weeks before he caught on to us. Most reporters and the paparazzi are descent enough they just want a good story. Once we are outted if we try to hide they will circle like sharks, but if we give them a few choice morsels they won't be so bad. I am truthfully more worried about your colleagues. I don't want you to get a lot of blowback."

"Oh, they'll give me a hard time for a while, but they know that I got to where I am because of hard work and not because of you. So long as I don't rest on my laurels, I should be fine. My closure rate was the best in the Precinct before you came on board, so I have some ammunition if things get too dicey at work. Besides I've got Ryan and Esposito on my side, between the three of us we can handle any problems at work."

"Then the last sector of the population we need to contend with are the crazies. I'd hate to think there is another Dominic Strom out there, just waiting for me to get all happy before the shoe drops again."

"Richard, we can't put our lives on hold just because there maybe someone out there waiting to hurt us. Truthfully it could just as easily be some nut job I put away that comes after you to hurt me."

"I think that I would prefer that, actually. I think I would go crazy if something from my life got you hurt or killed. You are one of the bright lights in the world, Kate; I would hate to see that light go out."

"Oh my God, Doctor Simmons was right, you have no self esteem. Listen to me, Richard; you touch more lives than I ever could…"

"It's not the same… You save lives. I… I just write."

"Rick, you just don't realize the power of your words. Can't you believe that you words help people?"

"Come on Kate they are just words…."

"Just words? How can you say that? There are people out there, millions of people, who buy everything you write because your words speak to them. Those words give comfort. Your words… Your World, it helps people. Do you know why I read mystery novels?"

"I never really thought about it…"

"I read because it helps me get through the tough days. I love the twists and turns of the plots, the red herrings. I love trying to find the killer before you reveal them on the page. But mostly I love the fact that Derrick or Nikki will always get the bad guy. Through Hell or High water, regardless of the personal consequences they are going to put away the culprit. On those bad days, the ones where I let the bad guy get away or after a trip to a horrendous crime scene, I retreat into those books for comfort and normalcy. Sure they are fiction but they are still a shelter from the horror of the evil of this world. So the next time you belittle your work I will personally kick you in the ass."

"Wow, Kate, I never knew you were so passionate about my books."

"Not just you work but the genre..." Kate said lamely, knowing she probably gone too far.

Castle allowed her to skate with her excuse and leaned in and kissed her. The passion and tension were there in full measure. Kate allowed herself to be swept up in the roiling storm of her emotions and reveled in her love for the sometimes arrogant but always caring man beside her, her sides burned where his caress swept from her hips and on to her back. Her body ached for his touch to continue but his hands stayed pressed to her back. She gave a frustrated moan and press against up against him. At last he pulled regretfully away. She searched his eyes looking to see how he was feeling. She saw the war between his pain and desire flash across his face like lightning during a summer thunderstorm. In the echo of the clash she saw the vestiges of his fatigue, even after his enforced nap at the Precinct.

"What can I do to ease your pain?" Kate asked.

"Stay with me tonight, no pressure, no funny stuff. I just want to be with you. I want to wake up and see that you are still here and not some mirage that my fevered mind has cooked up."

"You are an easy man to please. I actually brought spare clothes. I was planning to stay in the guest room but your room works too."

She got up off the couch and held out her hand. Castle eagerly clasped the proffered hand and rose from the couch.

"My one caveat is that you sleep in pajamas. I'm not interested in any surprises tonight."

"Done, you are an easy woman to please. I promise no mystery poking tonight"

"Good, I would hate to have to break something because it got loose."

Castle gulped "I guess I should wear a cup just to be safe."

"I don't think you need to go that far."

**A/N: **_I hope it was worth the wait._


	26. Chapter 26

**A/N:** Hey I only missed the every other day deadline by a few hours. Since I am finishing this at around 2:30 am please try to ignore the Typos and Grammar. Enjoy.

**Masks Chapter 26**

**Castles Apartment**

**Kate and Castle**

She had stayed in his bathroom longer than her nightly ablutions normally took. Her stomach was filled with butterflies, she had never, in her adult life, slept in a man's bed without first having sex with him. She tried to convenience herself that the times she had fallen asleep with Castle on his couch counted but for her they did not. It was a big step in their relationship and she knew it. Nervously she pulled on her extra large NYPD tee shirt and a pair of jogging shorts. She briefly fantasized about what Lingerie she would wear when they actually 'slept together' but quashed the thought when her body began to tingle at the idea.

Her fears had been groundless when she actually stepped out of the bathroom Castle was lying atop the bed clad in tee shirt and pajama pants covered with snoopy in various poses. She laughed, the golden sound cascaded throughout the room.

"What?" Rick queried.

"Peanuts?" Kate giggled.

"Hey, my adoring daughter gave me these for Father's Day last year. Show some respect." Rick grinned.

"Does that make me Peppermint Patty…. Charlie Brown?"

"No you are so, Lucy. You are always so bossy. I hope my choice in lounge wear has been a success?"

"Success?"

"I figured we would both be a little bit on edge. This being the first time we will have slept in the same bed. I am sure that this is a first for both of us. Sleeping with someone else sans sex?"

"In my adult life at least, which side of the bed do you normally sleep on?"

"The middle." Rick quipped.

"When you have company?" Kate was a trifle exasperated.

"I usually let the lady choose. So which side do you want?" Rick asked.

"The middle." Beckett rejoined.

"Touché, when you have gentlemen callers which side do you claim?"

"Usually the right…."

"Done…." Rick quickly shuffled over to the left side of the bed.

Kate was about to protest but was stopped when Castle suddenly turned off the light. Kate sighed and lay down. She naturally turned onto her right side and snuggled against his warmth. He rolled so that he was spooning against her back and tentatively wrapped his arm around her. To show her approval she placed her arm over his. Her nose twitched when she smelled his cologne. Comfort spread throughout her body and a warm sleepy haze settled over her mind.

"Castle?"

"Hmmmm" came his sleepy reply.

"Are you still having the nightmares?"

"Not every night but still most nights. I had one at the precinct this afternoon, real intense, so I most likely will not have one tonight. I don't usually have more than one a day so I should be good tonight."

"I wish there was something I could do to keep them at bay. I feel so helpless. There should be some way to keep the nightmares at bay."

" Doc Simmons says that as soon as I can come to grips with the shooting and all that it means, I should get rid of the nasty side effects." Castle yawned.

Kate started and the sleepy feeling vanished, "What will Alexis think about this?"

"My daughter is not in the habit of coming into my room so until we walk out of here in the morning she won't know." Castle said lazily. "Besides she loves you as much as I do so she will probably be happy. She certainly knows that I am not looking for a one night stand with you… anymore…"

"Anymore? What do you mean, anymore?"

"When I first met you, our very first case, when I suggested that we debrief each other, I wasn't looking for any relationship at all. As I got to know you, I realized that a quick fling was not what I wanted with you. You are so unlike any woman I had ever met that I knew that I wanted something more with you. I did not even realize how much you meant to me until you said that we were through. That left a gaping hole in my heart. If I didn't have Alexis and my mother I don't think I would have made it through."

"I think you are waxing a little poetic."

"No Kate, I wanted to die. I realized that I wanted you to be in my life so much that when you weren't, I didn't see much point to living."

"Richard you are scaring me. You were still able to finish Heat Wave during that time. You couldn't possibly been that devastated."

"Writing Heat Wave was the only way that I could still be with you. Paula was right Heat Wave was a love letter to you."

Kate was silent for a while. It was frightening to her to see how invested Rick was in the relationship. It was so easy to forget just how intense he could be. His devil may care attitude hid his inner thoughts so well that sometimes it came as a surprise when they were revealed. Kate's fear of her relationships flared to near super nova proportions. How could she match the intensity of emotion? Could they sustain the relationship in the face of such a maelstrom? Were they doomed to crash and burn? Was she willing to risk her psyche on the slim chance that they could make this work?

She was just about to bolt from the bed when she remembered what her mother had once said to her after one of her High School crushes had flamed out. Joanna had come into Kate's room and tried to console her daughter. _'Love is not for the Apathetic, Katie. Sometimes Love is so hot that it burns other times it is too bright and we have to turn away, but sometime it is like a warm and cozy fire in a fireplace. If it is mishandled it can burn but when it is embraced, even though we are afraid that it will consume us, it will sustain us and sometimes even purify us. It will always burn bright and give us strength.' _Was this the type of love she had for Castle?

"Richard…." Kate whispered.

All she got as a reply was the sound of deep breathing.

"Richard…. I love you……"

**##**

Kate did not fall asleep for a long time. Her mind constantly churned with her dilemma. She picked and worried at her situation. She was afraid of losing herself in her relationship with Castle. Could she be with Richard and still be Detective Kate Beckett? At some point during the night Rick began to work a subtle magic on her. It became increasingly hard to stay worried. His sleepy warmth began to coil around her. The quiet strength of his arm wrapped around her helped her ward off her fears. Once when Richard had moved in his sleep his had slipped from her waist and had unconsciously cupped her right breast. She gave a shiver of pleasure as she waited to see what he might do next. His hand stayed stationary and still. Without the fear dominating her brain she was able to enjoy her situation. She vowed that she would see this love through, knowing that she could not regret being with Castle. When sleep finally claimed her, her thoughts were of Rainy Sundays spent curled up in this bed with the man spooned up behind her and of walks on a beach at sunset….

**##**

**Morning**

Kate woke up slowly. The sound of the patter of rain gently roused her. The feel of Rick's hand softly caressing her side made her feel lazy and content. Her internal clock told her that it was still early and that dawn was still a ways off. She stretched and gave out a contented moan, her nostrils caught the bitter sweet tang of French roast coffee that Richard was partial to. She could definitely get used to waking up like this.

"How did you sleep?" She asked.

"Like the dead."

"How so writeresque of you. How did you get up without waking me? I am usually a light sleeper."

"I haven't gotten up yet. I have been lying here beside you enjoying the feel of you beside me."

"I smell coffee."

"Ah, well we rich and famous writers can afford coffee makers with timers built in so the coffee is ready when we wake up."

"Well aren't we just so fru-fru"

"I want you to know that it has been extremely difficult resisting the temptation to ravish you. You are extremely sexy when you sleep."

"That sounds like it would have been kinda fun" Kate said stretching to give Castle an even better view.

Kate could see Rick swallow hard and he almost flew off the bed.

"Where are you going Stud Muffin?" she cooed.

"The Shower, a very cold shower." Rick replied

Kate chuckled and reveled in her power to turn the Bad Boy on.

**A/N: **_I usually write Sci fi__and Fantasy so I don't know how I devolved into Romance (sigh)! Anyway let me know what you think._


	27. Chapter 27

**A/N(1): **_(Sigh!_ )… Just (Sigh!)

**A/N(2): **If you enjoy this chapter then you must thank Easton and "Letters to Jersey" awesome song and the song that got me writing Castle again. As always please excuse the typo's and grammar missteps.

**Chapter 27**

**Castle's Apartment**

**Kate, Alexis, Castle**

Alexis was shocked to see Kate come out of her father's room wearing his robe. When she had gotten up to get ready for school she had casually glanced into the guest room to see if the detective had stayed the night. She had assumed that since the guestroom bed had remained undisturbed, that Kate had gone home. To see her out of her normal attire and realizing that Kate must have spent the night with her dad flabbergasted her.

"Morning Alexis" Kate said yawning.

"Morning Kate, can I….. uh, get you some coffee... or something?"

Kate chuckled, seeing Alexis in distress, she tried to comfort her. "Some of your dad's French roast would be great. Before your mind runs wild, your dad and I spent a very quiet and restful night sleeping... and nothing else."

"Oh, I wasn't… I mean… I wouldn't mind if… Oh, dear what I meant to say was…."Alexis sputtered

"Alexis slow down." Kate interrupted. "I just want to be completely honest with you. Ok? Your dad and I are very well aware that our relationship is still at a shaky point. We are trying to maneuver around each other with stepping on any land mines. We also know that what we do will affect you and Martha. We're getting close to …_ That _point but not yet."

"Kate, I just want what makes you and my dad happy. I am okay with you two …. You know…. Since we have gotten to know each other better, I understand that you and dad are not just being swept away in the moment. If you and dad … well… take things further, I know it's because you both want to, not just because of dad's libido. So we don't have to talk about it…. You know… Ever."

"Fair enough."

Castle chose that moment to enter the kitchen. Because of the topic of conversation Kate and Alexis both blushed. Castle cast a worried glance at Kate who couldn't help but giggle. Alexis kissed her father's cheek and fled back to her room with the excuse of getting ready for school.

"Do I even want to know?" Rick cast a worried glance at his departing daughter.

"We were just talking about girl stuff." Kate teased.

"She in not thinking about…. You know… stuff." Rick blanched at the thought of where the conversation may have been going.

"What stuff are you talking about?" Kate asked innocently.

"You know about boys… and …. Sex" he whispered the last word looking around to make sure that neither Alexis nor his mother were in earshot.

"As a matter of fact we were discussing boy and you know… sex." Kate had to laugh at the scandalized and panicked look that crossed Richard's face.

"Can I borrow your gun and get the name of the little philanderer that is attempting to deflower my child. 'Cause I have to teach the young scallywag a lesson."

"Scallywag? Who are you? Captain Bligh?" Kate's eyes twinkled

"If I were a pirate I would have the young Lothario keel hauled and then make him walk the plank." Rick replied.

Kate sighed knowing that the joke had gone on long enough. "Richard the boy in question was you and the sex was with me."

"What?" Castle was confused.

"I told Alexis that nothing happened between us… except of course that you copped a feel."

"I did no such thing…."

"Richard.. I did not tell her about you copping a feel and you did it in you sleep. I am not complaining it was rather pleasant. If it had been unwelcome I would have broken your hand. So 'young Lothario' cool your jets. She was just giving us her blessing."

"Oh," Richard sighed.

"What's wrong Castle?' Kate asked.

"My little girl shouldn't have to think about such things. Kids should be blissfully unaware of parental sex until they're, like thirty of so."

"Richard if you had wanted that you should have stayed celibate. But, Alexis is a good, smart teenager and will handle that situation, when it comes up with the proper and mature response. Unlike some people I could mention."

She leaned in close and kiss Richard. It was deep, passionate and full of promise. The two lost themselves for a few moments in the experience, coffee and kitchen forgotten. A discrete cough pulled them back to earth.

"If you don't want Alexis to get ideas, I suggest you keep your osculation out of the kitchen."

"Ah, Mother so nice of you to join us this morning. Chet out of town?"

"As a matter of fact he had a family emergency and had too head upstate. You should always follow my example, Richard, discretion is the watchword."

"Are you sure you want to go there, Mother. How many stepfathers did I have? And how many of them did you actually marry?"

"That is not the point," Martha said primly." You did not see me kissing my beaus all over the house, did you?"

"That just because you would either send me out to the movies or to my room."

"True, but the point is I was discrete."

The talk turned to general topics as the three of them made breakfast. Martha was regaling Kate with stories of Rick childhood in-between the good natured ribbing that seemed to be the cornerstone of Martha and Richards's relationship. Kate watched the pair interact of the preparation and consumption of breakfast When Kate had first observed the byplay she had assumed that it was slightly adversarial and a response to Martha intrusion into Castle's home. But the more she saw of the two of them interacting she realized that the two were genuinely fond of each other. His complaints of her stories and meddling concealed the loving son, and her meddling and embarrassing stories were her loving way of trying to keep her son from losing his perspective. Kate's relationship with her mother had been vastly different. Her mother had nurtured with shopping and cooking together, she shook her head and had to marvel, Richard and Martha were as close as Kate had been with her own mother. They just chose to show it in a different way.

As Martha and Kate chatted while cleaning up after breakfast, Rich excused himself to get dressed. He had to admit to himself that last night's sleep and been deep and restful but still did not make of for the last few months' of nightmare interrupted nights. The entropic drag of depression began to pull at his buoyed mood. He tried to hold onto the feelings of contentment he had woken up with. He had awoken from a dreamless sleep to the warmth of Kate nestled up against him. He would never have thought that Beckett would be a spooner. He was surprised at himself as well he did not generally spoon either. With most other women he would roll away from them and sleep back to back. With Kate, he derived as much comfort in the simple act of sleeping with his arms around her as he got from other woman and sex. Rick worried about the intensity of emotion he felt for Kate. He had been a love 'em and leave 'em kind of guy and these feelings he had for Kate were anything but. He admitted that even with 'The Deep Fried Twinkie' he did not have these feelings. With His Ex-wife he had been so astounded at the fact that Meredith, an A-list Actress loved him that he didn't really examine the depth of his only feelings. Perhaps he had felt that if he looked at his feelings too closely the whole relationship would just disappear as if a dream. He signed as his ennui crept closer.

A pair of arms encircled his waist. His depression lessened its hold. Her turned and pulled Kate into a passionate kiss. Surprised she tensed slightly but quickly melted into his kiss. She had been a little startled and worried at the mournful expression she had seen on his face. While she had not gotten a great deal of sleep, she had awoken feeling rested and quite content if not downright happy. Seeing such distress in Richard's eyes scared her. Did he not feel as happy about their night together? His kiss was passionate but it was also hungry almost needy. Finally she pulled back.

"Richard what's wrong?" Kate asked, concerned.

"Nothing…"He began.

"Richard, the only way we are going to make it together, and I do mean _ONLY_ way, is for you to talk to me about what you are feeling, honestly."

"You know us guys, we don't do the feelings talk well."

"Richard." Kate asked "Is it me?"

"What?"

"Did something happen last night that has you having second thoughts?"

"What? Oh, god no. Look, Kate I am a brooding artist, it's what I do… brood."

"And it has nothing to do with us sleeping in the same bed together last night?"

"No… well kind of." He gently pulled Kate over to sit on the unmade bed.

Kate felt the fear she had been beginning to feel since Castle had left the kitchen blossom. She did not think she could handle his rejection and that scared her even more. How had she become so wrapped up in Castle? Without warning hey eyes began to tear up and she felt he heart threatening to shatter. He seemed to be able to sense that she was near tears.

"Kate it's not like that, last night I slept the best I have since before I got shot. And there is no one I would rather wake up beside than you. It's just I have had very shitty luck with relationships. Besides Meredith I have not had a long term relationship and let's face it I screwed that one up too."

"Richard, Meredith was the one who cheated on you. She was the one who wanted the divorce."

"Yes, but was it something I did to cause her to want the divorce? I am just scared that I'll do something to screw this up too. Kate I can't remember ever feeling like this. I am in new territory and afraid of making some unseen misstep. I don't want to, but I am afraid that I will. I know that this relationship scares you I can see it in your eyes when I talk about my feelings."

"I…" Kate protested.

"Kate, can you honestly tell me that this doesn't scare you?"

"I… Okay, your right, when you told me last night how much you missed me when we were apart last summer, I did get scared. You were talking all consuming passion and I have never experienced that before. Richard, despite your mask of nonchalance you have very intense feelings and I am just a little scared that I will be overwhelmed by them. I am afraid I will become an appendage. I don't want to lose me being Detective Kate Beckett.

"You would be a much loved appendage…"

"Richard!"

"I love you for who you are Kate. I don't want you to change. I would hope we could come to some understanding about a few things though."

"Such as?" Kate said apprehensively.

"Well, there are times that you work too much. You need to find a healthier balance between work and play. You have got to learn to take time off work, say maybe a week down in the Florida Keys after this case is closed, just you, me, and Alexis. Her fall break is just around the corner. Think about it, warn sun, sand, walks on the beach."

Kate shivered at the thought of being down on the beach. She pulled her mind away from those sunny thoughts."Any thing else?"

"Not really, I know that I will have to share you with your work, but the operative word is share. I don't begrudge the NYPD their best detective, but I want some of the time with Kate not just 'Detective Beckett'."

"Does that me I get time with Richard not Mr. Bad Boy 'Pain in My Ass' Author?"

"Well, I don't know why anyone would get tired of Him, but sure, fair is fair. I must warn you that that Richard guy is kind of high maintenance. He likes to spoon in bed on rainy nights, and walk on the beach on sunny days, bare footed. He positively dotes on his daughter and his girlfriend. To tell the truth he's kinda' boring."

"I think I can stand him." Kate looked at her watch and realized that it was time to get to work."Come on, Castle, we can't play in the sand until we catch the bad guy."

"When we go out to lunch can we look for a real slinky bikini for you? You know for the beach?"

"Don't push it Castle." Kate admonished but she did give some thought as to what type swim wear she would like to wear for him. "Get ready for work, Leisure Suit Larry."

"It's so hot that you know computer games of the nineties. I'm thinking something red, 'cause that's your color. Maybe something that would require a bikini wax. I used to do those for Meredith, so I would be glad to assist."

"Castle! I swear to god that I am going to end up either shooting you or sewing you mouth shut."

"Either way, I couldn't do this."

He swept her up into his arms and began to kiss her…..

A/N(3): Sorry for the wait. Among other things I have been writing and original work, I'm about forty pages in. It is a murder mystery but nowhere near as fun as Castle. When I get further along I might publish a few chapters on the web. As always I enjoy hearing your thoughts so let me know what you think of this chapter.


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